


Dynamite

by SexySpoonsWillRuleUsAll (dainochild)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, I am so sorry, I have no idea why this FMA/Naruto HS AU fic is set in Australia it just IS, I wrote this when I was 14 and terrible at everything, M/M, MSN oh god the MSN, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Winry Bashing god knows why I LOVE WINRY????, btw yes this is a troll fic, but i know it's bound to be full of misogynistic homophobic and transphobic stupidity, i dont remember everything that's in this fic, it mightnt seem like it but that was the joke, it's only here by Request for my full fic archive showing all the hell and sin i've unleashed, like completely on every level, that's how bad it is, this is from when 4ch was cool guys, u got trolololol'd edvy, will i ever atone for bad fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-22
Updated: 2007-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-06 20:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 35,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3147560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dainochild/pseuds/SexySpoonsWillRuleUsAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A blast from the distant past of 2006. Edward Elric is starting at a new high school. I don't know why that high school is in Australia or why Sasuke and Naruto are there so don't ask. There, he's quickly picked up by the annoying Envy. Soon, Envy's best friends Roy Mustang and Maes Hughes (?????!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!) are helping him in his attempts to woo Edo. Also Wrath and Al are in the background being bullied horribly. I think I was trying to make a Statement about bullying?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Valentine's Start

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I was 14, up until I was 16. As I recall it, my intent was to write a really cheesy and awful high school AU fic full of terrible tropes and all my personal issues. I was also trying to make a statement about bullying, which was quite odd, considering I was never bullied in high school. Anyway, I have no idea why Naruto and Sasuke are in this, I didn't even like Naruto??? Anyway 2: I'm not rereading it as I post it to avoid any attempts at self-editing. This is an archive, after all, good and bad.

“Sleep. Sleep is good. Sleep is my desire. Sleep, sleep and more sleep,” the blonde mumbled. “SO SHUT THE HELL UP!”

The alarm clock was smashed against the already dented plaster board. Hair floating around his head, mussed and messy. Light traces of drool hung from his scowling lips, bags under his golden eyes. To put it simply, Edward Elric didn’t look very appealing in the mornings, despite popular belief.

“Brother, did you break another alarm clock?” Alphonse, his already neatly dressed little brother asked, poking his dark blonde head through the door.

“It broke my sleep, dammit!” Ed groaned.

“Brother! It’s the fourteenth!” Al protested.

“Of January, I hope,” Ed muttered.

“No, of February! Please tell me you know what that means,” Al sighed, shaking his head.

“I’m not giving Winry a Valentine’s.”

Al rolled his eyes. “School starts today.”

“It’s not like you have to wear pink and black. And you’re not enrolled at a girl’s school.”

Ed shuddered. That had been one horrific month.

“C’mon brother, this school’s right on the beach,” Al pressured.

“Fine!” Ed snapped, tumbling out of bed. Al sniggered. Dodging a shoe, he fled from the room.

Grumbling, Ed pulled on the red polo top, marked with a boat logo. The only reason he and Al had managed to get into this school was via the international student program. They were half British, half German, after all. And, also, this high school seemed to crave attention, and after seeing Ed’s incredible test results, they had immediately enrolled him in the tenth grade rather than ninth. **(1)** Skipping a grade can’t be great for his popularity, but at least he and Al were staying put. Both were sick of travelling around the country with their bastard of a father as he tried to prove what a fantastic scientist he was.

The baggy light grey pants were next, followed with cursing due to the time Ed had wasted on his flashbacks. Tossing some fresh books into his bag, Ed threw it over his shoulder, barely zipped-up, and charged after Al.

“Brother, your hair…” Al started.

Ed discarded his bag, sprinting back to the bathroom, swiftly taming and untangling the knots. He then tied it back in a loose braid. Throwing it over his shoulder, he gave his cowlick a flick before charging off again, wondering why school started at an ungodly half-past eight.

 

Envy was known as the kid who had it all. Three-storey house, a pool, ten acres of land, cable – anything he wanted, he got. It’s all part of being the angst-ridden, drop-out son of a famous actress with a very strange taste in names and partners. All of her children had a different father, and all were named after a Deadly Sin. It had led to heavy rumours that the washed-up actress was a Satanist. Envy could believe that.

Pride was the eldest, the result of a teenage pregnancy. Dante had been fourteen, and was now fifty-six. Pride was making his living as a politician in Canberra – he had changed his name, what to Envy didn’t care. Pride was too cocky.

Gluttony had come next. Envy didn’t know or care to know anything about Gluttony, aside from what a tub of lard his brother was – who had, undoubtedly, also changed his name.

Lust and Sloth were twins, and were turning thirty in September. Or October. Sometime around then. They had moved to California together, and changed their names. Sometimes Lust would visit or call Envy, whilst Sloth preferred Wrath. He never called them - international fares were horrible with Telstra.

Greed was twenty-six, and studying languages at the university. Surprisingly, Greed hadn’t changed his name, and didn’t plan to. He was probably going to con people around Asia and Scandinavia for a living. Envy didn’t mind Greed too much, as long as he quit switching goddamn languages. English was good enough for Envy, so why couldn't everyone take the liberaty of learning it?

Wrath was the youngest, turning thirteen in two months, and had just finished grade six at Saint Michael’s. _St. Michael’s Academy for Pansies._ All hope for Wrath was lost every time he put that dorky black and pink uniform on. Oh, Wrath would insist it was magenta, but who can really tell the difference? It’s close enough to pink! What kind of school encourages their pupils to wear pink-trimmed socks and blazers? It’s not healthy; people from public schools (like Envy) would beat them senseless. Lucky for Wrath, Envy had yelled at Dante until she enrolled him at his safe, drug-ridden public school for grade seven.

And Envy? Envy was actually seventeen. He hadn’t turned up at exams last year, and, therefore, hadn’t passed. Envy didn’t care – why work to make a living when your mother’s a multi-millionaire? She surely wouldn’t notice loosing a couple of thousand every week.

At least, Envy hoped she wasn’t noticing.

Envy rather forcefully directed Wrath to his shiny, black motor bike. He tossed Wrath a helmet before grabbing his own.

“Now, what do ya do if someone picks on your name?” Envy asked, tying his green clumps of hair back.

“Kick ‘em in the teeth,” Wrath replied, grinning from behind the helmet.

“Or the nuts. And if they’re a girl, point your foot more, ‘kay?”

“What if I can’t tell?” Wrath wondered.

“Do all three. Teeth then nuts with a pointy foot.”

Envy climbed on the bike. Wrath scrambled on behind his brother, arms gripping Envy tightly. After a few loud and startling purrs of the engine, Envy sped off, thanking the fuzz for their endless fatigue.

 

Roy Mustang, on the third finger, was your normal teenager. He didn’t hate his parents, he had no siblings and he lived close to his high school where he had recently been selected as Student Councillor for Ten Green. And, counting on his popularity, he would soon be the Student Councillor for the entire school. Along with the female candidate, but surely with his charm, he could shape her as a fangirl. And then? Tiny miniskirts would be compulsory uniform for whoever he wanted.

Okay, so he wasn’t exactly normal. Roy was a lady’s man, even at sixteen. Extremely handsome and charming, not to mention bisexual (which is all the rage these days) – he was great, and he knew it.

As he walked from his house, leaving a good-bye for his mother, he decided life was great.

 

Uchiha Sasuke – no, Sasuke Uchiha. Stupid English. These Australians have no consideration for all the Japanese exchange students and tourists in their country every week. They should have more than one sign in this cursed city in Japanese.

Yes, Sasuke was a Japanese exchange student. He had applied for an exchange to escape his strange brother, Itachi. Itachi was the only family Sasuke had left after what was apparently a Yakuza slaughtering – why did they have to leave Sasuke with the insane one?

Of course, Sasuke’s best friend, Uzumaki Naruto, hadn’t been exactly pleased. The exact opposite – he was convinced Sasuke was betraying Japan, their high school, Naruto’s pet toads – everything. Sasuke was, apparently, deserting and betraying everyone and thing he knew. Really, he just wanted to get the hell away from his creepy brother. Anyone who stays up to eleven o’clock painting his finger-nails and listening to teen pop music is more than slightly disturbed.

Extremely luckily for Sasuke, he had travelled a lot. He lived his first five years in Tokyo, before moving to New York for three years, then heading around Europe before finally coming to a halt back in Konoha, Japan when he was twelve – which was where he met Naruto.

Smacking his head, Sasuke realised how many times he had thought about Naruto in the past five minutes. Sure, he had a tiny, microscopic crush on his best friend, but who didn’t these days? Sasuke saw the way Neji looked at Naruto, and that freak, Gaara. Not to mention Hinata, and even Sakura was starting to make eyes at Naruto. Which, of course, made Naruto happy, seeing as he had been obsessive over Sakura since he was eleven, much like Sasuke is constantly thinking about Naruto right now. Only Naruto would do it out loud, not whilst walking to school with that hyper blonde girl from his host family… Winry, was it?

“….it’s a great school, I’m really excited since Ed’s joining our class,” Winry chattered, a slight blush forming.

Oh god, he had to put up with a love-sick teenage girl. What fun, what joy. Sasuke pictured his once masculine brother, his former hero, painting his nails candy-pink and giggling. Shuddering, the raven-haired teen swallowed his nausea. This was better. MUCH better.

“And Mrs. Hikako speaks three kinds of Chinese, Japanese and Indonesian if you have any problems,” Winry continued.

“My English is just rusty,” Sasuke replied, feeling a wound in his pride. He needed that pride – if he lost his Uchiha pride, he might start wearing dresses and giggling over his nails…

“Yes, your English is very good,” Winry agreed. “Better than Ed’s, Ed always swears and drops letters…”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long year.

 

Wrath walked slowly down the corridor. People stood in groups together, with their friends from primary school, climbing up the support beams… he felt so alone. He was certain everyone could see him, alone and friendless, and that they would always see him like that. He could feel the eyes of a chatty chick on him, and he was certain if he met her gaze, the girl would sneer – especially since she was fairly pretty. Girls that were even remotely attractive and Wrath didn’t mix well. Wrath definitely preferred the company of men.

A boy with dirty blonde hair and kind, grey-blue eyes approached him, smiling kindly at him. Wrath returned the smile hesitantly.

“Hi, I’m Alphonse,” the blonde introduced, “but you can call me Al.”

“Um… hi Al… I’m Wrath,” Wrath replied, recalling Envy’s advice.

“Wrath?” Al said thoughtfully. “I like that, it’s unique.”

Wrath blushed, for once glad to have such a strange name.

“What primary school did you go to?” Al asked, his face still showing that sweet, innocent smile.

“Oh… my mum made me go to St. Michael's,” Wrath all-but grumbled. “My big brother saved me from having to go there for high school.”

Al giggled. “So do you have an over-protective older brother too?”

Wrath smiled. He liked the sound of Al’s laugh. “Yeah, but he’s in denial over it and tries to be all tough and mean when he’s helping me. What was your primary school?”

Al’s smile faltered slightly. “My dad’s a scientist, so we’ve spent most of our life travelling. But since brother hates him, he’s classified as an adult by law now. So we’re living here now.”

“That’s… harsh,” Wrath said, unsure of how to react.

“Are you in Blue?” Al asked, perky once more.

“Yeah!”

“Me too!”

Al pointed towards the door with '7 Blue' written on it. A tall, grey-haired man was opening the door, signalling that home-room had begun.

Wrath and Al were the last ones in the classroom. All the tables were packed – except one near the windows, which seated three girls. Exchanging a look, they went and sat.

“Hi! I’m Angie!” one of them said hyperly, her lanky hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her nose was hooked, her face extremely pale. Something about her just reminded Wrath of apple sauce.

“Hello, I’m Alphonse,” Al said politely.

“That’s a funny name,” Angie muttered. She was promptly smacked by the two other girls simultaneous.

“Ange _line_!” They hissed, one affectionate and the other spiteful.

The spiteful one held a very harsh look, like the layers of make-up had turned her to stone. Or maybe the peroxide had simply killed her kindness. "I'm Gloria."

There was definitely nothing glorious about her.

Gloria raised her eyebrows, icy eyes glaring expectantly at Wrath and the second brunette; skinny and glamorous. She reminded Wrath of Sloth.

“Joanne,” she said coolly.

“And you are…?” Gloria asked, eyes on Wrath once more.

“I’m Wrath.”

Angie sniggered. Wrath heard the familiar sound of a smack around the head. Hazel met brown in a wordless conflict, which, judging by Angie’s face, Joanne was winning.

A look of rage crossed Wrath’s face. Concerned, Al reached under the table, squeezing Wrath’s hand supportively. Wrath blushed at the gesture, but was clearly grateful – and, most importantly, calm.

Wrath mouthed a swift “thanks” before they turned their attention to their AT teacher, Mr. Walker, hands still clenched under the table.

 

Ed, meanwhile, was not having fun.

In the ten minutes outside the classroom, he had been called short by twelve students. Especially by a tall, dark-haired student in a blazer and an anorexic-looking teenager with long, green hair that seemed to defy every law of gravity. Ed swore the two were plotting together – look at them there, beside that pole, talking so calmly… They had to be plotting something.

Also, Winry had squealed and hugged him on sight, ranting about how long it had been since they saw each other.

“Winry,” Ed said coldly, pushing her off. “It’s been three days.”

“…This is Sa-su-ke,” Winry introduced, pronouncing the foreign name strangely. It definitely sounded wrong.

“Sasuke,” he corrected bitterly.

The Asian boy was incredibly handsome. His face was pale, with high cheek-bones and an elegant nose. A tiny, arrogant smirk crossed his lips, giving him a greater illusion of royalty; like even giving a normal person a sign of emotion was bellow him.

“Japanese?” Ed guessed. Sasuke nodded, looking mildly surprised. “Oh, we lived there for a while, so my little brother and I picked up a fair bit of the language.”

“I see… _chibi_.”

Ed’s face darkened.

“WHO-ARE-YA-CALLING-SO-SMALL-HE-CAN’T-HEAR-WORDS-OF-ANY-LANGUAGE-AND-THEREFORE-NEVER-LEARNT-TO-SPEAK?” Ed screamed.

“Calm down, Ed!” Winry demanded, pulling a wrench swiftly from her bag.

“Don’t you dare hit me with that, crazy woman!” Ed warned.

“I wasn’t going to!” Winry cried. Obviously a lie.

“You were too!”

Winry stopped speaking then, seeming incredibly pissed off. Lucky for Ed, their teacher, a blonde woman with cropped hair wearing a track-suit, opened their home-room. A science lab, judging by the periodic tables.

Ed, Winry and Sasuke sat at a near-by table, a sense of familiarity sinking in. This had been the same class for the past four years, and the new editions were undoubtedly looked down upon.

“That’s Ms. Linton,” Winry whispered to them. “She’s the Wellness teacher, too.”

“Wellness?” Ed asked.

“That’s what we call sport… Wellness and Enrichment.”

“…that’s retarded.”

Sasuke seemed to nod in agreement.

Suddenly, pale, thin hands slammed down on their table, the manicured nails painted black. Grinning down at them was a feminine boy, wearing the red school shirt and tight, black jeans. His nose was slightly up-turned at the end, his purple (obviously contacts) eyes glaring down at Ed in mirth. A thick smirk crossed his lips, his wild, dyed locks held back by a black head-band. He, like Sasuke, was also extremely attractive. Ed was beginning to question his sexuality more and more.

“What do you want, Envy?” Winry hissed.

“I wanna talk with the cute little blondie,” Envy said, flashing his sharp, white teeth.

“WHO’S-A-TINY-BEAN-SIZED-BEAN-BOY?” Ed yelled.

Envy flicked Ed’s cowlick, ignoring the boy’s former yelling – as was the teacher. Who seemed to have left for coffee. Dammit, where was help when you needed it?!

...Not that Ed needed it, of course.

“Leave him alone, Envy!” Winry snapped.

“Why should I do what you say?” Envy retorted lazily, pulling a chair out from under a scrawny, ginger-haired kid and sitting very close to Ed.

“…can I help you?” Ed asked awkwardly.

“How old are you? Eleven?”

“ARE YOU SUGGESTING I’M SHORT?”

“Yes. No. Maybe.”

“I’m fifteen, dammit! Not eleven!” Ed cried.

“Well, shrimpy –”

“My name is Edward! DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME A SHRIMP!”

“Noisy, aren’t you, Edo?” Envy purred, somehow making that comment the most suggestive thing Ed had ever heard. “I’d better take care of you today, so no-one decides to beat you shitless…”

“I can take care of myself,” Ed hissed.

“And no-one’s gonna pick on either of the new kids,” Winry intervened.

Sasuke seemed to have no concern over the matter. As long as it didn’t involve pink or purple nail-polish. Black was fine. Black is a manly colour.

“You’re sticking with me, Edo,” Envy ordered, his eyes falling on Sasuke. “You too.”

Ed slumped back, arms crossed, pouting. He hated this school already.

 

 **(1)** \- In Australia, we have primary school (In Tasmania that's Kinder, Prep, then 1-6 but everywhere else skips prep), High School (7-10) College (11 and 12) then university.


	2. Chinese Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke is all about heteronormativity and traditional gender rolls apparently

“Okay, newbies, any minute now Linton’s gonna come back with our timetables and inevitably yell at Roy,” Envy said casually.

“Envy I can –” Winry started to protest.

“Shut up.”

Ed was impressed. He had never seen so blunt and cruel with Winry not getting slapped with a wrench. Was Winry afraid of this Envy person?

…that was a stupid question.

“It’s okay, Win,” Ed said, forcing a smile. “It’s not a very big school, and every room I've seen has a big flashy sign.”

“But…”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But…”

“We’ll be fine. Like Edowardu said, this school is not very big,” Sasuke intervened nonchalantly. Ed immediately decided he like that manner of saying his name – it was different, catchy too.

“But…”

“Is that all you can say?” Envy snorted.

Ms. Linton came back into the room, staggering slightly and holding a stack of pink and white papers. Ed immediately started hoping for a white one.

“A’right, class, this is youse last year. Finally. Now you little buggers behave yourselves or you’ll be very, very sorry!” she snapped, sounding half-drunk. No-one else seemed remotely surprised by their wellness teacher being drunk.

“And… hey, who’s dat shorty and Asian?” she cried, startled.

“New students, ma’am,” Winry said politely.

“ROY!” Linton yelled. A handsome, black haired teen stood up casually, straightening his blazer slightly. The girls around him giggled. “Why ain’t you introducing ‘em?”

“That’s a teacher’s job, Ms. Linton, not a student councillor’s.”

“Shuddup an’ do it.”

Rolling his eyes slightly, Roy stepped over bags and towards their table.

“They’re both international exchange students,” Roy said coolly. His eyes bore into Ed’s, then Sasuke’s. “Introduce yourselves.”

Making a slight noise of annoyance, Sasuke stood up. “Sasuke Uchiha. Yes, I’m Japanese.”

He sat down, ignoring those already converted to his fanclub, crooning and giggling. Ed stood up, feeling somewhat awkward.

“I’m Edward Elric… I’m German.”

As Ed commenced his sitting down, a teenager with brown dread-locks put a finger bellow his nose, holding a flat palm up.

“HAIL HITLER!”

This young man soon met a chair and an extremely pissed off Ed.

“WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-A-NAZI-YOU-FUCKING-RACIST-BASTARD?” Ed screamed, round-house punching the guy.

“I’m half British too, fucktard!” Ed snarled, finding himself being pulled back to his seat by the collar of his shirt.

“That was cool,” Linton said thoughtfully. “Next time, Sas-oo-ke, don’t intervene. I don’t like Robert.”

“Sasuke.”

“Whatever.”

With this job done, Roy went back to his table of giggling and drooling fangirls. You’ve got to wonder just how much he likes attention.

“Right, ‘ere’s youse timetables,” Ms. Linton said, lazily slamming them down on the table. “Winry! You’re a suck-up, youse hand ‘em out.”

Winry obeyed. Ed was relieved to find he did get a white one – Sasuke, however, seemed to be twitching at his pink sheet of paper. Did he have issues?

‘ _I’d probably do the same thing…’_ Ed thought.

Time for a peek into Sasuke’s mind.

**_\--FLASHBACK! GASP! --_ **

“ _What did you think, otouto?” Itachi asked, giggling softly. He held his nails out in front of him so Sasuke could see their pink glory._

_Sasuke’s eye twitched._

“ _You simply must come shopping with me, Sasu-chan! I heard there’s a sale on all ladies’ clothes!”_

_What the hell had happened to Itachi? He used to be cool._

_\-- **FLASHBACK IN FLASHBACK! --**_

“ _Sasuke, this is how you do a round-house kick followed by a flip, groin kick and triple punch,” Itachi said, the proceeded to do so. It was amazing._

_\-- **END FLASHBACK FLASHBACK!** \--_

“ _I’m going to Australia, O’nii-san,” Sasuke announced at that moment._

“ _I heard there’s this great shop there, where you can buy dresses… slightly more expensive than here! OH EM GE!”_

_\-- **END FLASHBACK** \--_

“HEY!” Envy yelled in Sasuke’s ear. “STOP BEING SO EMO AND SPACING OUT MOFO!”

This news reached the back of the room, where the “popular” kids sat. They weren’t popular, but acted like they were.

“Like, oh em ge, did you hear what Envy just said?” a random girl whispered.

“What?”

“That new Asian kid, like, likes fucking mos. What’s a mo? Am I a mo?”

“No, Lucy, a mo is a mother!”

“…so will he fuck me?” Lucy asked, twirling her badly dyed blonde hair.

“No way, that kid is sooo totally gay! Look at his hair, that must take hours,” the red-head replied.

“So he’s, like, Envy’s new whore?”

“Totally! We’ve got to tell _everyone_.”

“I like the way your mind works, Mandy,” Lucy giggled.

First impressions always affect how you view someone, and Sasuke’s first impression wasn’t going to be good…

 

Recess, finally! Twenty minutes free from classes and lazy teachers – and to check up on Al. If Al didn’t like this school, no matter what Ed thought, they were leaving. End of discussion.

“Hey, Envy, where do the grade sevens hang out?” Ed asked.

“Why would you WANT to know? Trying to find someone shorter than you?”

“WHO’S-SO-SMALL-HIS-YOUNGER-BROTHER-IN-GRADE-SEVEN-IS-TWO-INCHES-TALLER-THAN-HIM?” Ed screamed – and for once, it was true.

“Ohhh, your little bro,” Envy said. He pointed towards the benches over-looking the soccer oval. “I’d better come with you so they don’t kidnap and rape you.”

“Like hell that’s ever gonna happen!” Ed snapped, stomping off. Envy and Sasuke followed.

“You’re so dramatic, Edo… like a girl.”

“I’M A GIRL? YOU’RE THE ONE WITH WAIST-LENGTH HAIR!” Ed retorted, startling some scared-looking seventh graders.

“He’s got you there,” Sasuke agreed.

“Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me,” Envy replied, rolling his eyes.

“That was very long… how do you hold a syllable that long?” Ed asked in wonder as they continued on their way.

“Acting. It runs in my family,” Envy shrugged.

“Brother!”

Ed spun around swiftly. So quickly he almost fell over. Luckily, he had Envy and Sasuke on either side of him to grab hold of.

“Hey Al, who’s your friend?” Ed asked.

“Wrath,” Envy responded, some-what bitter.

“Huh?” both Elrics responded.

“He’s my brother,” Envy and Wrath spoke as one, before glaring venomously at each other.

“So… Envy and Wrath know each other, Al and I know each other, Al and Wrath know each other and now we do too, Envy, Sasuke and I know each other but you two don’t know Sasuke-kun,” Ed said quickly, adding the affectionate suffix.

Sasuke responded with a soft strike to the head. “Never call me that, chibi.”

“I’M NOT SHORT!”

“I’m taller than you,” Wrath said. “Are you really sixteen?”

“Fifteen!”

“Brother doesn’t like being called short,” Al stated.

“I gathered that from all his yelling…”

“Oh, so it’s pick on Ed day?” Ed snapped.

“Yup, and what a fine day that is,” Envy responded, grinning.

“…you’re a bastard.”

“So’s Wrath.”

“Don’t bring me into this!” Wrath cried.

“Whatever. Did you have to kick anyone?” Envy asked nonchalantly.

“Almost, there was this one girl who’s just like apple sauce, y’know, disgusting, but Al stopped me,” Wrath replied quickly.

“Don’t break the family tradition, Wrathy. Even Pride smacked someone,” Envy warned.

“…Pride did that? Shit, he must’ve been pissed off,” Wrath muttered.

“Yeah, and Pride went to St. Michael’s for all of school, and look at how fucked up he is.”

The other three just wanted the exchange curiously, wondering if their entire family was of sins. Sasuke was wondering if any of Envy’s siblings ever started painting their nails pink and purple whilst listening to a Koda Kumi and Britney Spears mix CD. The only reason a man should ever own any of either artists’ CDs is for the album photos. No matter how many video games Koda Kumi sings on, she can never mange masculinity.

“Edward! There you are!”

Ed flinched. Al smiled. Winry ahoy.

“Hi Winry,” Al said.

“Hey Al,” Winry greeted cheerfully, before her cheer became frightening as she turned to Ed. “I want you to meet some of my friends, Ed!”

“Erm… well…”

“Time for drama,” Envy announced, yanking Ed away from Winry. **(1)**

“Maybe next time,” Ed said, forcing an apologetic look. “See ya Al!”

“Thank you,” Ed muttered as they walked away, suppressing a shudder.

“Meh, she’s a bitch,” Envy shrugged.

“Not really… just annoying.”

“She never shuts up about you,” Sasuke announced, smirking.

Ed groaned.

“Did you see those two in home-room?” a brown-haired boy whispered to a dark-skinned girl. The girl shook her head, eyes watching the two boys – Alphonse and Wrath, was it?

“They were holding hands all through it! Gloria told me,” he whispered.

“What? No way, that’s got to be bullshit, Milo!”

“No, it’s true, they’ve got to be gay, only queers have names that weird.”

“Wow… gay?”

“Got to be.”

“I’ve got to tell Jamie…”

She ran up to a tall, skinny blonde girl.

“Grace, you’ll never believe it,” she said in a low voice.

“Believe what, Fi-Fi?” Jamie asked loudly.

“Shh! Keep your voice down!” Fi-Fi hissed. “You know those two guys in our class, the one with the weirdo names?”

“Altonse and Wrath?”

“Yeah! They’re gay, and they blow each other every night,” Fi-Fi said, making a face of disgust.

“EWWWWWWWWWW!”

“Shut up, moron!”

Jamie ran over to Sarah.

“Saaaraaaah, those weirdos in our class are gay and fuck each other every night – that’s why Wrath was limping before!”

And so the game of Chinese Whispers continues.

**(1)** – No bell at this school because I don’t like school bells.


	3. SideStreets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh god the msn begins

The first week of school consisted of a mere two days – the Education Department were really slack, not that Ed was complaining. Who doesn’t enjoy a full day of bludging? And, to his great luck, Sasuke or Envy were always in a class with him, and Winry in very few. He didn’t mind her, but she was becoming very clingy – it’s disturbing to see your childhood friend practically throwing herself at you.

Al seemed to be happy too, and was becoming great friends with Envy’s little brother, Wrath. Occasionally Ed would spot them talking loudly about stuff that made very little sense. Didn't seem like they were friends with anyone else, but if Al was happy, that was the most important thing. It was lucky for him grade sevens took all their classes with their home-room group.

In Ed’s grade, they weren’t exactly friendly. They didn’t say anything, or openly mock them, but they always looked down at him with arrogant sneers. That alone pissed Ed off more than being called short. Okay, maybe not that much, but it was still extremely frustrating!

Besides, everyone was afraid of Envy. Understandably, of course. Apparently, Envy was a master in some strange martial art. Ed hadn’t actually seen Envy fighting, but that was of very little concern to him. He was more curious as to whether or not Envy had any other friends – both days, Envy had stuck with Ed and Sasuke, and even Al and Wrath. He could be secretly nice, like Sasuke, or just curious.

Ed was glad it was a weekend – after spending six years away from Australia, he wanted to get used to the country once more. The coastal city really wasn’t that big – barely a fraction of London’s size. How could you get lost, going between suburbs?

One hyphenated word; side-streets.

“Brother… are you sure this is the way?” Al asked, having no recollection of ever being in a street barely wide enough for two cars, with sand-stone based houses and white fences. Several willow trees drooped ahead, their whippy branches handing on the road, hence even less room.

“It’s gotta be, I can see the ocean in that direction,” Ed snapped, pointing at the deep blue abyss barely visible over the trees.

“But wasn’t the city away from the sea?” Al questioned with a frown.

“I’m older!”

“So? Two years isn’t very much!”

“You’re meant to respect me!”

“I do respect you, I just think you’re an idiot sometimes…”

“HA HA HA! Well, we’ll be able to find the city better if we find the harbour, which will be near the sea, and the sea is in this direction,” Ed explained, speaking a mile a minute. Only with practice had Al’s ears learnt to pick up Ed’s words when he was in “rant-mode”.

“If you insist… but there’s bound to be more side-streets, unless you plan to walk over buildings,” Al sighed.

“Actually…”

“Bro-ther!”

“Okay, okay…”

And so their search continues…

 

Wrath spent his Saturday morning watching Cartoon Network – he was grateful to have cable. Free-to-air was crap – no _Dexter’s Lab_ , no _Powerpuff Girls_ , no _Adult Swim_. His Thursday nights would be hell without Adult Swim, even if he always fell asleep.

Around noon, he would migrate to the kitchen, eat a very healthy lunch of noodles, pizza and jam doughnuts – with ice cream on occasion.

After his very nutritious lunch, Wrath would spend an hour or two swimming. Wrath was a fantastic swimmer, and loved being in the water. After watching _The Little Mermaid_ , he had planned to live under the sea, until Envy had shown him the human requirement for air – physically. It’s like any near-death experience; after nearly drowning, you keep swimming and kick lower next time.

And, finally, Wrath would alternate through channels for a while, possibly talk to Dante, and have a screaming match with Envy.

Yes, Wrath liked to have things planned out – to some extent, at least. Routine didn’t bother him either. And no, he wasn’t lonely. Never.

Although… this would be more fun with Al here… that boy could brighten boring subjects, so imagine him outside of school…

‘But what if he starts treating me weird? We’re stinkin’ rich, and they’re probably struggling to keep a home… plus Dante isn’t someone you want people to meet, she’s scary.’

Sighing, Wrath focused more on the cheery voices of the ever-hyper Powerpuff Girls, thinking that Bubbles needed a pointy kick.

 

Afternoon finally came. Sasuke had spent most of the day avoiding and ignoring Winry, whose obsession with Ed seemed to be increasing. Frankly, Sasuke was glad she wasn’t obsessed with him – fangirls are damn annoying. He was greatly relieved to find that Winry had gone to her friend’s house for a “back-to-school slumber”, whatever that was. Some girly bullshit – Itachi would know.

At this moment in time, Sasuke was logging into MSN. It wouldn’t be too late in Japan – Naruto might be online.

Straight away, a window popped up.

_xXxCherryCutiexXx says: OMFG! SASUKE-KUN!11!oneon!1_

_Avenger says: …hello, Sakura._

_xXxCherryCutiexXx says: I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! PLEASE COME BACK SOON!_

Unable to stand any more, Sasuke clicked the block button. He made a note to avoid Sakura when he got back home.

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Yo, Sasuke_

_Avenger: …your username is disturbing, Envy_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: That’s the point_

Minimizing the window, Sasuke scanned the online list. Finally, he found the desired username.

_Avenger: Naruto._

_Shadow Clone: Traitor._

_Avenger: You don’t still think that?_

_Shadow Clone: You just left! How do we know you’re not selling out our school secrets?_

_Avenger: Because we don’t have any, you total moron._

_Shadow Clone: STOP CALLING ME STUPID, BASTARD!_

_Avenger: You’re being over dramatic._

_Shadow Clone: Arrogant bastard._

_Avenger: Retard._

_Shadow Clone: I hate you._

A message appeared at the top of the window, announcing Naruto to be offline. Sighing, Sasuke closed the window. Naruto was far too difficult.

A third window popped up.

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Welcome to your doom._

_Flaming says: That line is too over used._

_Avenger says: Flaming is…?_

_Flaming says: Roy Mustang._

_Avenger says: Oh, him._

_Flaming says: You should be more enthusiastic – I am the one who will make it compulsory for all female students to wear MINI SKIRTS!_

_Avenger says: k_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Can I wear one too?_

_Flaming says: …_

_Avenger says: That’s more disturbing than your username_

_Flaming says: Are you guys gay or something?_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: You JUST realised?_

_Flaming says: Not you._

_The Sexy Palmtree says: You said “guys” :P_

_Flaming says: Shut up Envy_

_SteelFist has been added to this conversation_

_Flaming says: …SteelFist?_

_SteelFist says: Ed_

_Flaming says: Oh, the shortie._

_SteelFist says: You fucking bastard, I am not short or so damn small a vacuum cleaner could pick me up!_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: You even do that on MSN?_

_SteelFist says: I have the right to and should defend myself against those bastards who seem to think I’m a speck of dust!_

_Avenger says: You are completely insane_

_SteelFist says: And you love it_

_Flaming says: And I suppose you’re gay too?_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Don’t you know? Edo’s my cute LITTLE boy-toy_

_SteelFist says: …you’re going to DIE_

_Avenger says: For some reason, that wouldn’t shock me_

_Flaming says: It isn’t true?_

_SteelFist says: YOU’RE A BUNCH OF RETARDED SONS OF BITCHES!_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: …you know Dante? Since when?_

_Flaming says: LOL!_

Sasuke glared at the hinted hatred, instantly signing off. He didn’t understand how people can truly hate their parents – having lost his, he knew just how much a mother really meant. If he could change anything, his family would never have crossed the yakuza. Wishes meant nothing, and there wasn’t anything that could bring them back.

 

And, what does Envy do on Saturdays? He sleeps until around noon, then spends the hours after on MSN and AIM. And, currently, Sasuke had rather randomly signed off. Had he blocked Envy?

…no, who in their right mind would?

A window flashed.

_SteelFist says: WTF? Is Sasuke offline to you guys too?_

_Flaming says: Yes_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: no shit_

_SteelFist says: g2g Al’s turn_

_Flaming says: k cya_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: later, babe_

_SteelFist has left the conversation._

_Flaming says: stop flirting with the shorty, you’ll scare him_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: In Japanese cute and scary are almost the same_

_Flaming says: …that’s irrelevant_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: lmao_

_Flaming says: So you have a crush on the shrimp._

Envy leant back, glaring at the screen. He didn’t have crushes – crush is such a girly term. “Like” was too confusing – he did like Ed, but “like like”? He wasn’t sure about that. Maybe in a while… Ed definitely was pretty.

_‘And he would probably murder me for making him sound like a girl,’_ Envy thought, chuckling.

The window flashed.

_Flaming says: ENVY! STOP FANTASISING OVER EDWARD!_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: I wasn’t… honest._

_Flaming says: Liar, is your mini-skirt on fire?_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: It’s called a skort, jackass._

_Flaming says: I know a mini-skirt when I see one!_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Yup, you’re a bigger pervert than me_

_Flaming says: Don’t you want to see Riza Hawkeye in a mini-skirt?_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: no_

_Flaming says: Which is why you’re gay_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Yes, because I don’t like women. Congrats, you finally know the meaning, now all we need is you out of that damn closet_

_Flaming says: I’m in no closet_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Lust says bi is just gay in denial_

_Flaming says: Lust is stupid, then_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: no shit, she’s a slut_

_Flaming says: I must be off, I need to figure out how to manipulate mini-skirts into the school uniform. If you’re nice I’ll make Edward wear one._

_The Sexy Palmtree says: As undeniably hot as that would be, I’m going to kill you._

 


	4. Routines and Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> suddenly, naruto

Getting up in the morning was still hard. Okay, so Ed had only had two days of school, but it was still hard! That alarm clock seemed to watch him sleep with a demonic grin, plotting when it would be best to awaken the sleeper – it was an object of pure, inhumane evil. It was times like these Ed plotted time-control, with a stop-watch, like on that episode of _The Simpsons..._

Oh the bright side, Al was being a great, kind little brother worthy of a shiny, golden trophy. He had made Ed breakfast. And not just any breakfast – pancakes. Hot, steaming pancakes smothered in maple syrup. After announcing (squealing) his grateful glee, Ed began “eating”. Al thought it was more like inhaling, which was why Ed didn’t get enough nutrients and didn’t grow. Ed would smack him and tell him to shut up.

“Mey, Al,” Ed forced out, mouth still full. “Y’d meh aarm cock mo off?”

“…do I want to know what you just said?”

Ed swallowed. “I wasn’t even done yet! I said “Why’d my alarm clock go off?” and was going to add “it seems too early”.”

“Oh! I set it to go off earlier.”

Maybe Al wasn’t so great…

“After you’ve brushed your teeth, we’ll go,” Al smiled.

“Yes master…”

Ed couldn’t help but wonder if Al was going to stand over him and make sure he spent exactly three minutes brushing. Honestly, what kind of obsessive person would do that?

Thirty minutes later, they arrived at school with barely sixty seconds to get to their home-rooms. Quickly saying good-bye, the brothers split up, sprinting in opposite directions. Then Ed remembered his teacher was a drunkard and started walking again.

“OH MY GAAAAAAWD! EDWAAAAAAAARD!” Winry called.

Groaning, Ed turned around to face his friend-turned-fangirl. Winry used to be cool, back when she was obsessed with mechanics and had spent months making metal toys for them. When they lived here with that bastard, Winry had made Ed the shell of a metal arm and leg. This had occurred when he was twelve – they still fit.

Winry came at him like a steamroller, flattening all that stood between them. Sighing, Ed side-stepped, Steamroller Winry speeding past him, crashing into the brick wall.

“Hi Sasuke,” Ed greeted coolly.

“Ohayo.”

Sasuke seemed even moodier than usual. Neither knowing what to say, they walked to their classroom in silence.

Envy appeared suddenly, draping an arm over both. Sasuke’s fists clenched, like he wanted nothing more than to punch Envy’s face in. Ed, on the other side, was fighting a blush.

“My babies!” Envy cried.

“…no. Just… no.” Sasuke said, shaking his head.

“Weren’t you hitting on me before?” Ed asked. “So, then, you’re a perverted parent?”

“…you’re short.”

For once, Ed didn’t scream. He had beaten Envy! Cue evil laughter and very strange looked from classmates.

“When you’re done being psychotic…”

“I’m done.”

“C’mere, time you met my bitches…”

“You’re a pimp?” Sasuke asked, eyebrows raised.

“Damn right, bitch.”

“I’m not your bitch.”

None the less, both allowed themselves to be pushed through the grade tens.

“M’kay, that’s Ling,” Envy said, pointing at a tall Chinese teenager, his lanky black hair tied back tightly.

“Ran Fan.”

Ran Fan was a scary-looking teenage girl, also Chinese, hanging close to Ling. She glared suspiciously at Ed, then Sasuke, then Ed again.

“Havoc-the-stoner.”

The blonde returned this nickname with a single finger, rolling a toothpick around between his lips.

“Riza.”

This blonde woman had an intelligent look in her red-brown eyes, her blonde hair tied back in a half-bun. She too was wearing a blazer.

“And you know the horse,” Envy said dismissively, not even looking at Roy. Ed could practically see the pot of rage Roy was boiling in.

“OI! GET OUT OF THE DAMN WAY YOU FUCKING USELESS KIDS!”

Ms. Linton was here.

 

It was a normal day in Konoha. Teenagers were in school, adults at work… everything was normal. Except it wasn’t. It isn’t normal at all; life just makes the attempt to fill the void with routine. For once, Naruto wasn’t fooled at all. Something was definitely missing… it was the kind of thing you normally over look, and just imagine that it’ll always be there, day after day, year after year. You never realise just how much such a thing means until it’s gone.

…it probably wasn’t nice to refer to his best friend and rival like that. But it was true. Sasuke didn’t really talk much, just half-listened, throwing the occasional insult and, if he was lucky, challenge. Sasuke had become more and more withdrawn since his family’s massacre, which was understandable.

Sasuke had left in January, to get used to Australia. Naruto had last heard from him around Valentine’s Day. It was now after White Day. No matter how much Naruto missed Sasuke, he couldn’t bring himself to talk to him. Sasuke left so suddenly, and it was like he didn’t want to come back. Every time Naruto considered speaking to him, he remembered Sakura’s rants on how well “her Sasuke-kun” was doing. What if he really was going to stay there? What would that leave Naruto?

The decision was the easiest of Naruto’s life. He was going to go to that place, and he would make Sasuke realise just how much he was missing out on. And, if he had to, he’d drag Sasuke home at the end of the year. A perfect plan. And there was definitely nothing more than friendship and concern in there, no way. Naruto was in love with Sakura. Honest.

‘ _Haha, just wait Sasuke…’_

Three phases were involved in Naruto’s plan – all extremely easy, if he worked hard enough.

_Step one: Convince your guardians to let you go._

Over the years, Naruto had gone from a lone orphan to having three guardians. Sure, old man Sarutobi had been a guardian, of sort, but Naruto had learnt that after the old man passed away. Convincing Iruka would be easy – puppy-dog eyes and pleading. Jiraiya would take some convincing, Tsunade more so.

That night, Naruto requested to speak with all three.

“Now, what is it Naruto?” Tsunade asked, eager to get back to the casino.

“Granny Tsunade, Iruka-sensei, Pervy Hermit…”

Jiraiya glared slightly at the playful nickname. It was bad for his reputation.

“I want to go to that sister school in Australia,” Naruto demanded.

“Your English sucks,” Jiraiya said.

“So this’ll help it get better so I don’t fail!”

“They don’t have very good ramen…” Iruka warned.

Naruto gulped, but remained determined. Sacrifices would be made.

“And they mightn’t accept any more exchange students,” Tsunade, principal of Konoha High, said with a wave of her hand. “You’ll see Uchiha in December.”

“…Sasuke’s there? Since when?” Naruto said innocently.

The three adults snorted, not even slightly convinced.

“Dammit, why can’t I go?” Naruto shouted.

“It takes a while to organize,” Tsunade replied lazily.

“Your English sucks,” Jiraiya repeated. “People won’t understand when you start yelling at them and saying “dattebayo”every few minutes.”

“But I really want to go!”

The three adults exchanged glances, all seeming to be thinking the same thing.

“Okay, I’ll work on finding you a host family – it will take around a month, plus talking to the school,” Tsunade sighed. More work.

“And you’ll use that time to brush up on your English. If you don’t pass Jiraiya’s test, you won’t be going,” Iruka said sternly.

“You’ll also have to do some data-gathering for me,” Jiraiya said in a quiet tone.

“Fine, I’ll do all that!”

_Step two: Brush up on English._

This meant studying. Naruto hated studying; it was evil and extremely boring. It would be more interesting if he could just learn English from movies…

A big grin crossed Naruto’s face. Being sure to be extremely sneaky, Naruto “borrowed” Iruka’s _Lord of the Rings_ box-set. He could already read and write the letters, thanks to romanji.

And so, Naruto spent hours watching English DVDs, paying more attention to the words than the subtitles. He also began to listen to more English music, amazed at how quickly he was picking up words. Combine that with his need to over-come all barriers and learn the language, he was progressing at an incredible rate.

_Step three: Pack your bags and say good-bye!_

Naruto had got the highest score on the English test, to the amazement of all his peers. With a big grin, he packed his bags that night, unable to wait much longer. March was almost over – two days of the month remained.

‘ _Ha, I can’t wait to see that bastard’s face when I walk in!’_ Naruto sniggered, tossing t-shirts into his duffel bag.

A hard knock sounded at his door.

“Come in Graaaaanny Tsunaaadeee!” he sang.

Tsunade stepped in, smiling slightly at the joyous Naruto.

“We’ve found you a host family, and our sister-school will accept you,” she said bluntly.

“YAAAAAAAAAY!!” Naruto cheered, throwing his arms around his guardian.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Tsunade sighed. “Uchiha had better be worth this.”

“I’m not going for that bastard, I told you!” Naruto pouted.

“Sure Naruto…” Tsunade sighed. “You’re leaving in three more weeks, so don’t pack yet.”

“Better than never!”

Tsunade left, patting Naruto on the head. Grinning, Naruto saw her out.

‘ _Hmm, I should talk to Itachi…’_

Naruto shrugged. He’d go on the weekend. Until then, he would dream of Sasuke’s horror at his random appearance…

 

Meanwhile, down under…

Routine had sunk in. It was the first week of April, and Ed knew his time-table by heart already. On school days, he would be awoken by a dented alarm-clock around six-thirty, have a shower to wake himself up more (he had discovered how well this worked three weeks ago), then get dressed, make his lunch, finish any homework, eat breakfast and catch the bus to school with Al. Then, the brothers would walk home in the afternoon, discussing their day and any news or developments. Ed had found that after befriending the SRC president people were becoming friendlier. Al’s class had elected some girl named Gloria their president, and Ed only ever heard about Wrath.

Today, however, Al was extremely hyper.

“The grade seven camp is in two weeks!” Al announced. “We’re going to White Beach!”

“Aren’t there six grade seven classes? How’ll they fit them all?” Ed asked half-heartedly. He would have to fill out that damn medical form. He hated them.

“Oh, three are going at once. We’re going with Yellow and Aqua.”

“Okay, so I need to sign that form, dish out ninety bucks and fill out a medical form,” Ed groaned.

“I can do the form…” Al said with a small smile.

“Good, I hate those… why don’t they keep a record?” Ed cried.

Al giggled. “You sound like a real parent, brother.”

Ed smiled sadly. ‘ _I’m probably the closest you’ll ever get, and vice-versa.’_

“I can’t wait!” Al squealed.

“Don’t get so excited you run into a pole,” Ed suggested.

“That was one time…”

Rolling his eyes, Ed gestured for them to pick up their pace.


	5. Premonition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why does this fic have random japanese

Two weeks passed in an instant. Well, not really, but it sure felt like that, with all the planning and Al’s constant chatter. Before Wrath knew it, they were on a bus halfway to White Beach.

“I’ve never been near here before,” Al said, smiling widely. It must have been the fiftieth time he’d stated that fact.

“It’s just a giant beach, Al. With a few cabins. Nothing special,” Wrath said, smiling despite his words.

“But it sound so pretty…” Al sighed, gazing out the window dreamily.

‘ _One hour until we’re there,’_ Wrath though, glancing down at his watch. ‘ _I wonder what Envy’s doing…’_

 

Envy was extremely sleepy and bored. Because of his mother’s laziness, he had had to drop Wrath off at seven thirty. Not even the teachers were at school yet!

Envy was lucky, however, that Ed was the one seeing Al off and not his parents, which was certainly questionable. If Ed asked him, Envy would ask back. An eye for an eye, right? Envy wasn’t even sure if that phrase was relevant at this point in time.

It was ten past eight. Envy was incredibly bored. Why he didn’t ride home, sleep for a while and then come back again was beyond him. Maybe it had to do with the blonde sitting against the wall, either half-asleep or stoned. Since Ed didn’t seem the drug-addict type, Envy guessed he was tired too.

The sound of muttering reached his ears. Looking up, Envy spotted a spiky-haired blonde walking down the corridor, yawning and discussing some matter with himself. The stranger’s tan skin and blue eyes reminded Envy of the Norwegians, but that language definitely wasn’t Germanic… it sounded Asian, but he didn’t _look_ Asian. Ah, the mysteries of life Envy can only pretend to care about at eight a.m. when he’s incredibly bored.

The blonde’s eyes met Envy’s. There was a strange head-band holding back the new-guy’s unruly hair, a metal plate curved to fit a forehead with a spiral pattern in the centre on dark blue fabric. The new comer grinned.

‘ _He looks retarded…’_

“Ano… Sasuke- _teme_ in class yours?”

“…what?”

Ed opened his eyes, surveying the blonde curiously.

“日本人ですか？ _”_ Ed inquired.

“うん！日本語話せる？！スゲ〜イ！ _”_

“ああ、少し....でもここはオーストラリアので、英語のほうがいいよう。英語わかる？ _”_

“ず〜と。 _”_

“Urge, Japanese gives me a headache,” Ed groaned.

“He’s Japanese?”

“Apparently.”

“俺はウズマキ・ナルトダッテバヨ！ _”_

“…English?” Envy asked.

“何？”

“Erm… neither of us speak much Japanese,” Ed rephrased.

“Sorry…”

“You mentioned Sasuke?”

Naruto nodded enthusiastically. “Is he in this school, _dattebayo_?”

“Not at the moment, but he will be… he’s in our class.”

Naruto’s grin went from ear-to-ear, before the strange foreigner sprinted off.

“…that was random,” Envy said, blinking the daze away.

“What’s a “ _ttebayo”_?” Ed wondered aloud.

“Sounds like a bird… Tobias,” Envy shrugged.

“That’s a name, not a bird.”

“It is too! That one on _Animorphs_ ,” Envy defended.

“You watch _Animorphs_?” Ed asked, rolling his eyes slightly.

“…Wrath does.”

Snorting, Ed closed his eyes again.

Gazing down at his blonde companion, Envy decided he was too bored to be bored, not that that makes sense.

“So, why were you dropping your brother off?” Envy asked coolly. Ed stiffened slightly.

“I could ask you the same,” he replied coldly.

“Because my bitch mother’s too rich and lazy to do it herself, and I don’t remember my dad. Your turn.”

“We don’t live with our dad, and mum died,” Ed said, half-hesitant, half-eager.

“That sucks,” Envy said, though part of him was jealous of Ed. He’d love to ditch Dante, but the money was too good, and Wrath was too much of a baby to look after himself. Leaving now would be cruel.

Sadly, their conversations ended there as Roy appeared, jumping from no where.

“Hello there, shrimp, palm-tree.”

“WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-A-SHRIMP-SO-SMALL-HE’D-GET-CRUSHED-BY-THE-SPIT-WHEN-YOU-ARE-TALKING-TO-HIM?” Ed roared.

“Hi Pony.”

“There’s supposed to be a new exchange student today…” Roy started.

“Met him, he’s insane.”

Ed nodded. “I think he’s stalking Sasuke, too.”

“Sasuke’s bound to be used to it – I am,” Roy replied nonchalantly.

“Not very arrogant,” Envy snorted.

Roy ignored the sarcastic comment. Envy was just jealous because _he_ didn’t have fanboys.

 

“Like, oh em ge! You’ll never, like, believe it!” Lucy cried, clomping up to her circle of followers. Eight centimetre heels aren’t the smartest shoes to wear when you’ve just heard great gossip.

“Never, like, believe what?” a red-haired girl asked, brown eyes eager for the latest goss.

“Remember that hot Asian-like guy? Roy was right, he’s like, not gay! He’s sleeping with that try-hard tomboy, Winry!” Lucy announced, her face half-way between horror and sadistic glee.

“OH EM GE!”

“That’s, like, soooo messed up!”

“I though Winry was a lesbian…”

“And that’s not it! My little bro told me there’s, like, two kids in his class who are man-whores! And they, like, practice on each other every single night – gays are sooooo messed up, they should, like, be exterminated.”

“Ewww! Those sick bastards!”

“Like, they need to get, like, _lives_ or something…”

“Gays are all, like, so twisted! Look at Envy – eww!”

“Eww, like, eww! He’s gay! So gross!”

“Yeah, totally! He’s always hitting on Roy – as if he has a chance!”

“And have you, like, seen him talking to that super-cute blonde? Like, so rank! Gross as! Everyone knows short people, can’t, like, be gay or anything!”

“Like, oh em ge, I was just, like, thinking that!”

“Wow! Great minds, like, so totally think alike!”

Just then, a person shoved his way through the group as he sped away. Lucy fell to the ground, and tripping with eight centimetre heels is never a good idea.

“OH EM GE! LUCY, LIKE, TRIPPED AND, LIKE, BROKE HER ANKLET!”

“I wanted that anklet!”

Sadly, they all seemed more concerned about the anklet than the actual ankle.

 

Twenty to nine.

They crossed over a bridge, the water sparkling. The bus continued along the road, the bush getting thicker and thicker. The bus turned left and the trees began to scatter once more, white sand obvious between the gums. The trees finally became scarce, and they passed through a barb-wire gate. Cream-coloured cabins lined either side of the gravel road, all resembling camper-vans. They could clearly fit only three or four people.

They continued down the gravel road before stopping to the left of a large log cabin behind a colourful playground.

The teachers dismissed them lazily, making one rule; no girls in cabins with boys. Aside from that, they had no limitations. So, Wrath and Al collected their bags and headed off to a cabin, both secretly hoping no-one else would join them. And, of course, being the unknowing gossip of the grade, they got their wish.

The cabin smelt like cats. It was tacky too; a rough grey couch, a round table with weak-looking brown chairs. The floor tiles looked to be decorated with faeces. There was an extremely narrow hallway, its width shortened by the dark, dusty bunk-beds. A white sliding door hid the tiny bathroom, which contained only a toilet, sink and cracked mirror. At the end of the hall was a double-bed, almost filling the entire room. Scratch being made for three people – these cabins were fit for possums.

“So…who’s sleeping where?” Wrath asked, half-sarcastic.

Al couldn’t help but blush.

 

Back track to nine thirty at the high school. Ed was currently explaining their strange encounter to Sasuke.

“…he said he knows you,” Ed said.

“Really…”

“Yeah. He also started talking about birds,” Envy threw in randomly. He refused to admit Tobias was a name, not a type of hawk.

“I’m telling you, Tobias is a name,” Ed sighed.

“Hn. What did that person say?”

“He asked if you were in this school – in English – then said something in Japanese. Something like tibbayo,” Ed replied, shrugging.

Sasuke stiffened. “You don’t mean… _dattebayo_ , do you?” he asked, horrified.

“That’s the one.”

Sasuke strongly considered bashing his head against the desk. Naruto followed him to a no-name city?That was terrifying, frustrating and interesting. Who really would do such a thing? And what for? Was Naruto here purely to annoy him? No… it was obvious! Naruto was here because _Itachi_ made him!

“…did we break him?” Envy asked, poking Sasuke.

A plan devised in Sasuke’s mind. One that would horrify Naruto and send him scurrying back home to report insanity to Itachi. It was perfect. All he needed was the bait…

He looked at Envy, considering. No.

His eyes crossed the room, spotting Ling. Sasuke shuddered. No.

His eyes found Winry, staring dreamily at Ed. No, no no!

This continued with all his classmates, until Sasuke narrowed it down between two assistants. Ed and Roy. His plan would inevitably ruin Roy… and the School President was too cocky for his own good. So, Sasuke’s partner in torture and deception, due to elimination, was Ed.

“Uzumaki Naruto is stalking me,” Sasuke said coldly. “So one of you has to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

Both exchanged look ranking very high in the “what-the-hell-is-he-serious” area.

“And since Naruto has some weird mental problem where he won’t attack a fellow blonde very much, Ed is the best for the job.”

Silence followed.

“…you’re serious, aren’t you?” Ed asked.

“Yes.”

Envy glared venomously at Sasuke. Ed looked at this expression and smirked.

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

Envy was counting to ten, thinking of his peaceful place and taking rhythmic breaths. He was still supremely pissed off, and didn’t know why. Damn emotions – it was times like these he wished he had none.

 

After minimal debating, Wrath and Al decided to sleep in the double-bed together. Both had offered to take the couch or a bunk, but neither wanted the other to have to do so. This was the most logical solution, though it definitely was questionable…

Wrath found a small, box television hidden beside the microwave. It was about a fifteenth of the size of his wonderful plasma television at home, and the remote was broken – snapped in half. So, Wrath flicked through the channels standing right in front of the television and pressing the tiny buttons. Southern Cross, ABC, WIN, SBS and Ten. A very big shy from the fifty-three channels Wrath was used to, but at least this place had TV **(1)**. That annoying show, What’s in the Box, was on. Wrath quickly turned the television off.

“How long are we here for again?”

“Three days.”

_‘At least Al’s here…’_

 

Now, the moment that everyone had been dreading; Ms. Linton coming into the room, swearing.

“New student. Bastard, stuck-up President; you take care of this,” Linton spat, resting her head on her arms. Within thirty seconds, she was snoring.

“Erm… right…” Roy said, sighing melodramatically. It was worth it. It was worth it. “The new student is from Japan – like Sasuke – only he probably can’t speak even Engrish. And I have no idea where the hell he is.”

And, right on cue, the door burst open. The freaky, hyper blonde from before burst in, glaring venomously at Sasuke.

“Ah, there he is,” Roy said coolly. “Introduce yourself.”

“My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I’m fifteen and I like ramen and…”

“Mmm, very nice,” Roy said dismissively. He pointed out Sasuke. “He’s Japanese too.”

“I _know_ ,” Naruto said bitterly. “He’s from Konoha.”

“Great, go sit there and tell Sasuke how his fangirls have been.”

And with a final shove, Roy went to rejoin his own fangirls. Glaring, Naruto stepped over to the table, though not questioning it when Ed moved his chair closer to Sasuke. Instead, he sat in a free seat.

“ _Teme._ ”

“ _Dobe._ ”

And, looking between three glaring people, Ed knew this could only get worse.

 

 **(1)** In Australia, there are five free-to-air channels; Southern Cross, ABC, WIN, Ten, and SBS.


	6. Fuel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we should all just totally date sasuke

**NOTE:** Writing between quotation marks and in italics (e.g. “ _Srsly you gaiz this fic sucks.”_ ) are spoken in Japanese, or other languages other than English.

 

Recess came swiftly. Naruto was being quieter than Sasuke had expected, but before he was completely prepared, Naruto was glaring up at him – a cobra ready to strike. Sasuke made sure to linger close to Ed, purely to assist the image. He wasn’t the type for any display of affection, but if he had to, he would. Anything to forget nail-polish – aside from admitting that was why he left. Especially since Naruto was clearly Itachi’s spy.

“ _Alright, you bastard, why?_ _Why are you here, dattebayo?”_ Naruto snapped.

 _Remember, keep the act up…_ Sasuke told himself. “ _Nothing, you dead last moron.”_

“ _BASTARD!”_

Sasuke gave a nonchalant grunt. Naruto’s fists clenched, his teeth grinding together. Sasuke had almost forgotten how much fun it was to irritate Naruto.

“ _Just tell me why you came dattebayo!”_

Sasuke rolled his eyes slightly, not-so-subtly gazing towards Ed. He knew Naruto would see this, and he knew Naruto wasn’t a total retard any more – Naruto might even take the hint.

“ _Look at me, bastard!”_ Naruto demanded furiously.

…or Naruto could remain oblivious until it was spelt out very clearly in front of him with side notes explaining every action using the vocabulary a four-year-old would understand. Sasuke tutted, annoyed.

“ _Moron,”_ Sasuke stated, picking up his pace. Ed did the same, making sure to stick _extremely_ close to Sasuke. Sasuke couldn’t help but wonder just why Ed was so eager to play this part… or why Envy had just dented that wall.

Hang on a second. He knew the answer to at least one of those questions.

The reason Ed is eager to pretend to be Sasuke’s “boyfriend” must be… he secretly has a crush on him.

 

Al and Wrath were lingering behind the group. Gazes occasionally slipped to them, but both remained oblivious, as always.

“Look at them,” the rat-faced, mousy haired boy stated with disgust. “Fucking homos.”

“They could always be, you know, friends,” Joanne stated coolly.

“Look at ‘em – they’re practically hold hands and screaming 'we’re gay, lalala'.”

“I dunno… they act like friends,” Joanne shrugged. “You might be right.”

“Course I’m right, I’m smartish!” Jim scoffed.

“…special, I’d say.”

Gloria dropped back between them. “We should, like, check to see if they’re sleeping in the same bed. That’s a total give-away.”

“True. Then again, we’ve slept in the same bed,” Joanne replied.

“Yeeeah, but that was a sleep-over, and there was only that couch-thingo.”

And so the message spread – everyone was going to try and find out the sleeping arrangements in cabin five. The two boys were still lingering, completely unaware of the hell ahead.

 

Midday. Our favourite grade tens were currently in art – also known as double bludge. The art teacher had no concern over what you do, as long as you were artistic about it. You could rip someone’s innards out, and as long as you arranged them, he wouldn’t question more than your inspiration.

In actual fact, Ed hated art. His drawings were recognisable, but his mind was crafted for equations, not drawing. Ed could only proudly draw scientific apparatus. Today, it was amusing to eavesdrop on Naruto complaining about Sasuke, slipping between English and Japanese – occasionally demanding an answer from Sasuke. Ed’s “boyfriend” was clearly near breaking point, Envy had damaged more property today than in the past few months – and Ed got to sit back and watch it all unfold, whilst faking an interest in the mini-skirts Roy was designing.

“…and this one ruffles towards the centre but is smooth on the sides. Also, the back is short, like you,” Roy described, shading the skirt deep blue.

“WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-SO-SHORT-HE-GETS-CRUSHED-BY-AN-IRON-BEFORE-IT-CAN-BURN-HIM-OR-THE-MINI-SKIRT-IT’S-SMOOTHING?” Ed screamed.

“Whoa, very nice Edward! I like the rage you incorporated, it makes me want to avoid irons and mini-skirts,” Mr. Heller stated, applauding.

Ed felt a hand on his arm. Gazing down, he saw milky skin. Seeing no traces what-so-ever of nail-polish, Ed met Sasuke’s gaze. He had no idea the total bastard could manage such a concerned look – especially when faking. Part of him wanted to laugh, part of him was amazed, and a fraction was hungry. Ed decided to meet all three on equal grounds – a small smile and some-what wide eyes.

“Calm, Ed,” Sasuke stated. And then he was back to arguing with Naruto, like nothing had happened. Glancing across the table, Ed found Envy throwing Sasuke a murderous glare. He couldn’t help but smirk.

“ _Bastard, what the hell was that, dattebayo?”_ Naruto yelled, glaring between Sasuke and Ed.

“ _You really are an idiot – I thought it was obvious,”_ Sasuke replied, smirking.

Naruto’s eyes, somehow, narrowed further. “ _I’m not stupid, you jerk! Just tell me what the hell is going on, okay?”_

Sasuke sighed, barely suppressing a cocky smirk. “ _Fine._ _Edo-chan is my boyfriend.”_

Naruto’s left eye twitched slightly. Everything fell silent, like everyone understood Sasuke’s words. Naruto’s face was growing more and more horrified as the nonchalant sentence registered as a fact.

“ _WHAT THE HELL?”_ Naruto yelled. “ _Edo is gay? WHY WOULD ANYONE DATE SASUKE-THE-BASTARD?”_

Sasuke scowled. “ _You retard. It’s true.”_ Momentarily, Sasuke wondered why Naruto didn’t seem at all amazed by the announcement that Sasuke himself was gay, but didn’t want to inquire.

“ _No way, dattebayo._ _That’s too wrong,” Naruto muttered, shaking his head violently._

“ _It’s true,”_ Ed threw in.

“ _HEY! YOU SPEAK JAPANESE, TTEBAYO?”_ Naruto asked, horrified. Obviously, he had forgotten their earlier conversation.

He really was as stupid as Sasuke claimed.

“ _Yes.”_

“ _Edo-_ koi _is amazing, isn’t he?”_ Sasuke said proudly, stressing the suffix _koi_ **(1)**.

“What’re they saying?” Roy asked, voice hushed.

He was ignored.

“… _Sasuke… you…”_ Naruto started, finally accepting this as true. He couldn’t say any more – his throat was blocked. Swallowing back any miss-placed sorrow, Naruto changed his reply. “ _Good for you… I’m happy for you…”_

Sasuke hadn’t expected that answer – nor for it to sound so insincere.

 

Wrath couldn’t sleep. Not because it was awkward – that had nothing to do with it. The reason he wouldn’t sleep was because it _should_ be awkward. Sleeping in the same bed as someone he had known for two and a half months was definitely an awkward matter, not enjoyable. He shouldn’t be marvelling over how peaceful Al looked, nor how he looked with his hair out. He definitely shouldn’t be wanting to run his fingers between dirty-blonde silk, and he most definitely shouldn’t want to touch Al’s face. It was creepy and wrong, and Al would the him for it. If he, Wrath, was asleep and someone suddenly began to caress his cheek, he would be scared and avoid that person. Wrath didn’t want to loose Al – not now, not ever.

Sighing, Wrath tore his gaze from Al’s sleeping face. He needed air, before he did something stupid. Slipping on a warm jacket and changing his pants, Wrath sneaked from the cabin and across the camp grounds. His feet carried him towards the beach. The gloomy, grey water reflected snatches of moon, adding an eerie glisten to the cold, dark beach. Feeling no care for this, Wrath found himself walking along the water’s edge, bare feet occasionally meeting icy waves. The bottom of his pants were getting wet and sandy, but that was of no concern – not at the moment.

He reached the jetty, and walked slowly to the end, sitting with his legs dangling above the hypothermia-inducing liquid. He swung them back and forth, not really thinking of anything. It was too confusing to think, and philosophical (or whatever it was called) study wasn’t really his forte. To be honest, Wrath barely knew a thing about himself. He never questioned his favourite food or drink, just choosing what was there. He never wondered what his favourite television program, colour or smell was. He hadn’t even questioned where his life was going – so how was he supposed to know his own sexuality? How was he supposed to decipher these strange emotions Al brought? They were scary, terrifying even, but Wrath couldn’t get enough. Al was his only drug.

Wrath had no idea how long he sat there, swinging his legs, thinking, watching the rippling sea. The moon was getting lower, its glow dulling. He was getting colder, too. Sneezing, Wrath concluded that it was time to go back. He retraced his steps exactly, leaving imprints that looked like a person with toes on their heels. Feeling mildly amused by this fact, Wrath picked up his pace.

The door slid shut, squeaking softly. Wrath tip-toed down to the main room, changing back into his pyjama pants. A quick glance to the bed told him Al was still sleeping strong, muttering slightly. Wrath sneaked back under the covers – only to be immediately greeted by a clingy teenager. Al was snuggling closer and closer, his head rested against Wrath’s chest. Sleeping arms wove their way around Wrath, holding him even closer. With a blush, Wrath gingerly slid his arms around Al, too embarrassed to notice a half-opened grey eye watching him.

 

Jim wasn’t sure exactly how he was going to get inside cabin five – he didn’t have a key, and as awesome as he thought he was, he wasn’t bad-ass enough to know how to pick locks. So, he was currently standing on Benji’s back, the blonde boy crouched on all-fours. He could see the curtains closed from the ground, of course – but he could also see that small cracks and holes between the sheets of moth-eaten fabric.

“Shit, Benji! Stay still!” he spat.

“Dammit, stop sneaking cream-puffs, fatso! You weigh a tonne!” Benji snapped back.

“Shut up, you’ll wake everyone up!”

Fuming, Benji obeyed. At the moment, he felt like Jim’s bitch. No, that was not good. He was more of a man than Jim – Benji knew this because his muscles were bigger.

Keep in mind they’re thirteen.

Jim could see the double bed through the cracks and holes. Angling himself slightly and ignoring Benji’s heavy protesting, he saw enough evidence. Wrath and Al. In bed. _Spooning_.

“Shit, man! They are homos! Gay as Michael Jackson!” Jim announced, jumping down from Benji’s back.

“Isn’t Michael Jackson a paedo?”

“Shut up, we need to tell everyone, and quick – what if we catch AIDs off them? Or, worse – they turn _us_ homo?” Jim replied, horrified at the idea.

They started sprinting around, spreading the message, throwing more fuel on the fire.

 

 **(1)** Koi, abbreviation for “koibito” which means lover. Pretty much, “Ed-love”, but that looks stupid. At least, I hope that's right... xD;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE FROM 2015:
> 
> why does 'edo-koi' not look stupid while 'edo-love' does? it's called 'fetishisation of a foreign language' and it makes no sense. if you suffer from this condition, please stop it IMMEDIATELY.


	7. Light a Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3 <3LUCY! <3 <3 Im sexi every1 nos it says: Lyk, omfg!
> 
> and other such deep commentary on teenagers by a 14-year-old

Finally, Al had returned from camp. It was getting dull and lonely at the Elric home without him.

“So, how was it?” Ed asked as they walked home.

“Oh… um… pretty good. Nothing happened.”

Ed frowned suspiciously. “You’re hiding something.”

Al stiffened, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Ed could almost see sweat forming on his brother’s brow.

“N-no! Nothing happened! Nothing! Honest!”

“If you insist...”

“I do! Because nothing happened!”

“Whatever.”

Al sighed in relief. “So… did anything happen here? Because nothing happened at camp.”

“Uh… yeah… you see, there’s a new exchange student, and he’s some insane stalker, apparently, so… I need to pretend to be Sasuke’s boyfriend.”

“…that, brother, is incredibly random…”

“Yeah! It’s because that guy won’t attack other blondes, something weird like that,” Ed laughed.

“And what does Envy say?” Al asked slyly.

“Huh? Why is that important?”

“No reason, brother…”

“Stop hiding things, Al! First the camp thing and now this!”

“Nothing happened at camp, and this is obvious,” Al replied, sticking his tongue out.

“…dammit, you’re too confusing.”

 

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Hi there Pony_

_Flaming says: Hello, my jealous friend xD_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Jealous? Of who? Or are you just punning me?_

_Flaming says: I’m just wondering how much money you owe to the school_

_Flaming says: Breaking something every time shortie and Sasuke look at each other? That can’t be healthy_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Shut up. My foot slipped._

_Flaming says: Thirty times?_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Damn right_

_Flaming says: Not even you suck that much, cross-dresser_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: It’s a skort_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: And you’re a bastard_

_Flaming says: Skort, skirt, what’s the difference? Both use an amount of material to cover the “private areas” and make you look like a pansy_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Hey, Mustang, Havoc’s trying to steal Hawkeye off you_

_Flaming says: No he's not. It's Havoc._

_Flaming says: Don’t change the subject_

_Flaming says: You love Edward_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Do not_

_Flaming says: Do too_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: You do_

_Flaming says: …?_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: I’ve seen the way you eye shrimpy_

_Flaming says: That’s wrong_

_Flaming says: He’s short_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: No, no, Pony, we all know this is going to end up some crazy love triangle where you and I fight for Edo, then Sasuke falls for him for real and we all start fighting for Edo and then I save his life and he becomes my slave_

_Flaming says: …_

_Flaming says: You need help_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: I’m right, aren’t I?_

_Flaming says: No_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Why else did you suggest he wears a mini-skirt, Mr President?_

_Flaming says: Just…no. No way._

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Where is your god now?_

_Flaming says: …you’re mental_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Am not._

_Flaming says: Who tells you you’re not? The voices?_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Yup_

_Flaming says: You’re an idiot_

_Shadow Clone Ramen! has been added to the conversation._

_Shadow Clone Ramen! says: um…hi?_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: You’re a friend of Sasuke, aren’t you?_

_Shadow Clone Ramen! says: We’re best friends… he said that_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Really… so he cares about you a lot_

_Shadow Clone Ramen! says: It’s Sasuke, he only cares about his hair_

_Flaming says: It looks that way_

_Shadow Clone Ramen! says: He’s going to upset Ed a lot_

_The Sexy Palmtree says: Great prediction, cap’n obvious_

 

_< 3 <3LUCY! <3 <3 Im sexi every1 nos it says: Lyk, omfg! My little bro lyk cought those gays fuking_

_< 3 <3LUCY! <3 <3 Im sexi every1 nos it says: n da cute shorti is gay wit da hawt asian_

_< 3 <3LUCY! <3 <3 Im sexi every1 nos it says: tell every1_

 

The message was spreading further and further. The hate was growing. And all anyone could do was watch as the match hit flint, slowly dropping down.


	8. Explosion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a suicide attempt

The decision was made.

Since the majority of the seventh grade girls found Al and/or Wrath attractive, it was decided that the entire grade would work together to beat the homosexuality out of them.

Easter had been and passed – camp was a month ago. April was almost over.

That was when they finally realised the full power of words…

 

They were staring again… always staring, always hating. It hurt. Every time they looked at him, every time they muttered, every time he heard his name, it was a knife to the heart. The hurting never went away – and they were hurting Al too. Wrath knew one thing; everything would have been alright had he never come to this school. Then Al would be popular, extremely happy… Al deserved to be happy.

At home, it wasn’t much better. After over-hearing the truth, he had started to withdraw. Why was he here, and not with his real mother? Wrath had even stopped swimming. The chlorine made his arms sting.

However, the worst thing was that no-one saw past his forced smiles. Seeing an upward curve in his lips, they assumed he was perfectly fine. Wrath didn’t want them to know his state of mind, it was frightening… but he felt cheated because they couldn’t tell. All his conflicting emotions made it so much worse; the only time he could think with one voice was when there was pain – and that voice always screamed for salvation.

The whole thing was too confusing. Wrath wanted nothing more than to sleep.

That day in MDT, everything changed.

“Hey Al,” Benji said, approaching with a smirk. Jim lingered close, sniggering slightly.

“Hi…” Al responded, clearly suspicious.

“You’re a vego, aren’t you?”

“Vego…?” Al muttered.

“Vegetarian,” Wrath whispered.

“Ohh… yes.”

“How do you, like, get protein ‘n’ stuff?”

Al rolled his eyes, feeling no need to respond. Wrath expected more.

“Duh, Benji, he’s gay! He gets all the protein he needs suckin’ guys off,” Jimmy snorted.

In a second, Jim was on the ground, gasping in pain. Snarling, Wrath lowered his foot.

“Don’t you fucking bastards ever speak to him like that,” he spat.

Glaring, Benji grabbed Wrath’s arm, twisting harshly. Gasping in pain, Wrath felt his whole arm throbbing. Pulling back roughly, Wrath blinked back tears of pain.

“You fucking queer! Nobody likes you, everyone would be better off if you and all your gay friends were dead!” Jim yelled, wincing as he climbed back to his feet.

“Hmm, if you think so,” Wrath said nonchalantly.

The two others walked away, one limping. Wrath turned back to the work bench, hands shaking in rage. The blade of his small saw snapped.

“Wrath…” Al started weakly.

“I’m fine.”

Al frowned. Wrath forced another smile.

‘ _It’s my fault he’s suffering. I’ll fix it.’_

“Al… what’s the time?” Wrath asked.

“Um… eleven forty, why?”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you… I’ve got a dentist appointment, I’ve got to go,” Wrath replied. He felt blood trickling down his arm.

“Okay, I’ll see you later then,” Al replied uneasily.

“…yeah. See you later.”

Al watched Wrath go, eyes narrowed suspiciously. Something was definitely up. Standing on tip-toes, he spotted Rachel and Isabel on the other side of the work-room. Without a moment’s hesitation, he approached.

“…and that's why – oh, hi Al,” Isabel said, half-way through an obsessive rant.

“Hi,” he replied, before cutting right to the chase. “Have you two noticed anything… weird about Wrath?”

“Um, Al, it’s Wrath…”

“Weirder than _normal_ ,” Al sighed.

“Yes,” Rachel replied instantly.

“Erm… sorta, he’s kinda distant…” Isabel said thoughtfully. “I dunno, he’s just different.”

“He’s always being picked on, so he’s unhappy,” Rachel announced.

“Hmm…”

Al wasn’t sure exactly what to do. How much would it hurt to have an arm grabbed? Wrath swam everyday, so he wouldn’t be unfit or weak – the very opposite, in fact. Did being muscular affect you ability to deal with pain? There was no way someone as scrawny as Benji could hurt Wrath that much… he needed to find him.

“Can you two cover for me, if Frinsteid asks where I am?” he inquired.

“Um, sure… what are you doing?” Isabel responded.

Al was already leaving.

‘ _I need to talk to Envy… where would he be? Where would brother be?’_ Al pondered, walking down the halls. ‘ _Period 3, Monday… um…’_

Cursing, Al wished he could remember Ed’s timetable better. He only knew his brother’s class for the last period of each day.

It took Al twelve minutes to find the right classroom – art. Calming his nerves and slowing his racing heart, Al went inside.

A few people glanced over at the door. Ed was in a deep conversation with Envy and Naruto, but Sasuke’s dark eyes found Al’s. Smiling weakly, Al approached the teacher.

“Um…”

“Can I help you?” the dark-haired, bearded man asked, kind eyes sparkling.

“Yes, I need to speak with Envy. It’s urgent,” Al replied.

“Okay, sure, go ahead. While you’re at it, tell him to stop hitting on Edward. Although, it does show a very artistic view of homosexual love.”

Blushing slightly, Al turned away, almost running into Ed, who was glaring at his teacher, also blushing.

“Brother…”

“Al, what happened?” Ed asked.

“I need to talk to Envy…”

“I’ll tell him to stop hitting on me myself, what’s happened?” Ed replied coolly.

“It hasn’t happened yet…” Al said, some-what darkly. “It’s about Wrath.”

“…okay, c’mon.”

Following his brother, Al couldn’t help but feel that they were wasting time.

“Envy, Heller says to stop hitting on me,” Ed said nonchalantly, “and Al needs to talk to you.”

“Never, and okay,” Envy replied, rising to his feet. “What’s up, future brother-in-law?”

Ed smacked Envy – hard. Al winced at the thump, but gestured for Envy to follow. Once they were outside the classroom, he began to speak.

“Wrath doesn’t have a dentist appointment today, does he?”

“Nope, otherwise I’d having to take him,” Envy replied calmly. “Why?”

“He left a few minutes ago… saying that he did,” Al responded, feeling cheated.

“So he’s skipping… and why's that matter?”

“And… he’s been acting so weird since camp… before some kid grabbed his arm and he was in a lot of pain,” Al added shyly, looking down at his hands. “He’s not weak, is he?”

“...weaker than me... but tougher than those midgets.”

“Exactly… and he sounded so weird when he said goodbye. He… he’s hurting himself, isn’t he?” Al asked, barely choking back a sob.

“Probably,” Envy replied, sighing. “Okay, you should either go home or go back to class, whichever will make you calmer. Maybe I should send Edo out to talk to you… you’re a mess.”

It was true. Al was trembling, tears running down his cheeks. He had never been more afraid… if Wrath _wants_ to die, what was the right thing to do? To let him die, or to stop him and force him to keep living?

“W-what will you d-do?”

“I’m going to go home and knock some damn sense into that selfish brat,” Envy replied, flashing a grin. “I’ll get Edo for you, okay?”

Al nodded. Smiling, Envy stepped back inside.

‘ _Please, please… let me be wrong… I won’t know what to do if Wrath really is hurting himself,’_ Al thought, over and over, the plea never leaving his mind.

The door snapped shut.

“Right, I’m off,” Envy said, walking straight off.

“…he didn’t wink or say anything suggestive,” Ed said, awe-filled. Turning to Al, his expression roughened. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Wrath…” Al started. He couldn’t say any more before bursting into tears, sobbing everything out. Everything he suspected, everything he felt.

“Wow, this is a puzzle…” Ed said with a hint of humour in his voice. “If you like Wrath, and I like Envy – _a tiny bit_ , is that incest?”

Al smiled slightly. Ed hugged him supportively. “It’ll all be okay…”

“I hope so, brother.”

 

If people thought Envy was a crazy biker before, they were definitely right now. A swift glance down at the speedometer told him he was breaking eighty, but he really didn’t give a damn. There was that tingle of dread, and that was never a good sign.

The ten minute trip was cut in half. Envy was off his bike before it had even stopped properly, charging inside.

“WRATH!”

The house was silent. An eerie, unnatural silence, like all time stood still. Walking down the corridor, Envy tried the first bathroom. It was locked.

‘ _Fuck.’_

Envy slammed his shoulder against the door, using all the force he could muster. It took several tries before the door busted open, hinges suffering great damage.

The first thing Envy saw was red. All he could hear was his own beating heart, his eyes finding the source. Wrath, on his side, crimson-stained left arm hanging out; the right curled around his limp body. Blood was smeared on his cheeks, eyes closed loosely. To any onlooker, he was dead.

“WRATH!” Envy yelled, immediately at his brother’s side. “WAKE UP! WAKE UP YOU FUCKING PANSY!”

No response.

Hands shaking, Envy rolled Wrath onto his back. He pulled out his mobile phone, dialling three zeros.

“Emergency. Can I help you?” the nonchalant woman asked.

“Ambulance. NOW.” Envy snarled. “Before my completely retarded little brother dies.”

‘ _If he isn’t already…’_

Envy had no recollection of telling their address, or hanging up, or placing his mobile in his pocket. The next thing he knew, he was bandaging Wrath’s arms. How could he not have noticed all these cuts? The new and old combined to make Wrath’s inner-arms seem like long scabs.

“You’re an idiot,” Envy said, brushing the hair from Wrath’s eyes. He placed two fingers on Wrath’s neck. A dull pulse responded. Wrath was still alive – just. It was getting slower and slower by the minute…

Scooping Wrath up in his arms, Envy sprinted out of the house, waiting on the front steps, still holding his limp brother.

“I’m going to kill whoever put you up to this,” Envy said, glaring at the invisible culprit.

Sirens grew louder, and the ambulance screeched up. Running forward, Envy passed Wrath over to the paramedics.

‘ _If you don’t live, every person who ever hurt you will suffer.’_

 

Envy was left in the waiting room. He checked his watch. An hour had passed since he spoke to Al – it was lunchtime. Over-coming his hesitation, he dialled Ed’s number.

“Envy!” Ed yelled into the phone.

“Edo, if I was there, I’d be hugging your brother.”

“…what does that mean?”

“Wrath tried to kill himself.”

Silence. Envy swallowed.

“But he’s going to live?”

“I don’t know.”

“Can I help you to kill all grade sevens?” Ed asked. Envy could hear him trembling with rage.

“Of course. Keep a close eye on Al,” Envy warned. “Bye.”

“Bye…”

Envy hung up.

‘ _I suppose I should call Dante… and Greed… and Sloth… hell, all of them,’_ Envy though, with a sigh of dread. He dialled five numbers, before pressing call. Multiple call **(1)** was the best way to go.

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Can I eat you?”

“Yes?”

“Mmm?”

“Sloth, get Lust and put it on speaker-phone,” Envy commanded.

“Envy, wasssssssssssup?” Greed inquired.

“Um… something’s happened.”

“Please hurry it up, I have an important meeting to get back to,” Pride sighed.

“Okay, okay! If any of you blame me, I’ll decapitate and disembowel you with a rusty nail,” Envy warned.

“Damn, this is serious if he’s bringing out the nail…”

“Very, very serious, so shut up for five minutes, Greed!” Envy snarled.

“Wrath’s in hospital.”

“WHAT HAPPENED?” Sloth shrieked protectively.

“Oh fuck.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Dante asked.

“I dunno, depression or bipolar disorder… whichever one it is that makes you leave school a few hours into the day, go home, lock yourself in the bathroom and slit your wrists,” Envy groaned, amazed at his calmness.

Silence. Envy winced, awaiting the pandemonium.

“I TOLD YOU! HE SHOULD HAVE COME WITH US!” Sloth screamed.

“Oh, like you’d be able to do anything, he needs professional help!” Dante snapped.

“WE WOULDN’T NEGLECT HIM, YOU BITCH!”

“Oh, so you’re questioning my parenting skills? Who do you think you are?” Dante spat.

“YOUR DAUGHTER!”

“Stop screaming, Sloth,” Lust intervened. “That won’t help. We’ll come over as soon as possible.”

“And we’ll take him back with us!”

Envy growled. “Shut up! Shut up all of you!”

“Oh, like you ever do any good Envy! Fucking queer!”

“Wrath’s gay too!”

“…no. No way.”

“Yes, he is! He’s in love with Al, and if it wasn’t for Al, he’d be dead now!” Envy spat. “And if you take him away from Al, he’ll be even worse, so don’t you _dare_!”

Awe filled the phone line. Had Envy ever been this protective? When had it happened?

Envy hung up, ending the calls. His family always gave him a headache.

 

“Al,” Ed said, dead serious. Was this good news, or bad? It was good, because Wrath was alive, and would receive help, but bad because of what he did.

“He did, didn’t he?”

Slowly, Ed nodded, squeezing his brother’s hand supportively. “We can go to the hospital right now, if you want.”

Al nodded, shaking heavily. He felt if he moved too much, he would shatter.

“Sasuke, do you wanna come?” Ed asked.

“No. I’ll stay.”

Ed frowned, hesitating. “Well, okay then…”

With that, the two brothers walked slowly away, neither sure what to expect.

Still no news. It had been half an hour, sitting in the waiting room, doing what it was created for. Waiting to know if a member of your family would live or die, be crippled or fine. Wrath had lost what looked to be too much blood, but had he, Envy, been imagining things? When people see blood, they do tend to think it’s more than it should be…

“Envy?”

Envy gazed up, amazed. Ed stood before him, Al lingering slightly behind. In another moment, Ed’s arms were wrapped coyly around him.

“I’m sorry.”

Envy hugged back as a response, his face buried on Ed’s school jumper, never willing to admit he was crying.


	9. The Aftermath

Everything was spinning – it was like there was no gravity to hold reality down. It felt both incredible and disturbing at once, while it lasted. Some kind of weight and pain was sinking slowly in, a dull ache enough to recreate reality. The weightlessness was gone – it had been replaced by blurry vision and a woozy, unclear mind.

“…Wrath?”

What was that again? Oh, there it is. Wrath was his name.

Wrath tried to respond, but he was too tired and sore to form proper words. A questioning groan was enough, right?

A thwack reached his ears, and a mixture of stinging and heavy pain reached crossed his cheek.

“…what?” Wrath asked weakly.

“You are a selfish son-of-a-bitch and if you ever even considering doing something like that again I’ll disembowel you with a rusty belt!” the harsh speaker snapped.

“Envy…”

His vision was getting clearer. Envy stood over him, glaring down at him with raw, rage-filled eyes. If Wrath didn’t know better, he would have though Envy had been crying.

“Don’t apologise or any crap like that! If you could see how fucking upset and worried you’ve made everyone… we had to knock Alphonse out before he’d go home, Sloth has been spazzing out non-stop and calling every hour. The entire family is coming here,” Envy spat, his voice shaky. “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?”

“…I… I just…”

“You just _what_?”

“…it’s nothing.”

Envy rolled his eyes. “Yes, it’s nothing. People remove half the skin on their own arms over nothing.”

“Is Al mad at me?”

Envy shook his head slightly. “He’s angry with something, apparently. He knows something no-one else knows, doesn’t he?”

“A lot of people know… just not you.”

Envy glared, seating himself in a black, plastic chair by the bed. His expectant look wasn’t fading, but Wrath knew better than to tell Envy. If Envy knew what had been happening he would either join them or support them in some way.

“Wrath, you are going to tell me everything – especially who put you up to this.”

“No.”

“Tell me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Either you tell me or I’ll go to the school and beat the info out of randoms in your class,” Envy said nonchalantly. One look at his face told Wrath he was dead serious.

“…they hate me,” Wrath confessed hesitantly. “Not just me, but Al too… which is my fault, who could hate Al?”

“So you tried that because some retarded, pathetic seventh graders don’t like you?” Envy said, his voice clearly expressing his distaste.

“No… because I ruined everything for Al.”

Envy’s face was emotionless. Wrath couldn’t stand to look at him any longer.

“Please… leave me alone…”

“No.”

Wrath slumped slightly. “Then don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

Wrath bit his bottom lip. “Like I’m a failure. I know I am…”

Seeing Envy moving, Wrath closed his eyes, expecting another strike. Instead, his bed sagged slightly, and Wrath found himself in an awkward embrace.

“You didn’t fail. I did,” Envy corrected, before pulling back like nothing had happened. “I’m gonna call Al – tell him you’re awake.”

“No…”

“He misses you, retard.”

And with that, Envy was gone.

 

“ _Aren’t you worried, Sasuke-bastard?”_ Naruto asked sarcastically. “ _The guy who’s always hitting on your boyfriend hasn’t been at school for two days, dattebayo, or your Edo-koi.”_

Sasuke made a small noise of irritation. “ _Shut up, dead last.”_

“ _Bastard!_ _At least look upset, or do you hate him?”_ Naruto ordered.

“ _Moron. You know nothing.”_

“ _I’M MEANT TO BE PISSING YOU OFF, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! DAMMIT YOU BASTARD! DATTEBAYO!”_

Sasuke smirked victoriously. He was definitely winning.

 

“C’mon Al, we’ve got to get to school,” Ed sighed.

“No! Those people killed Wrath!” Al sobbed, pulling a blanket over his head.

“It’s one in the afternoon, Al… we’ve been fighting since eight!”

“I’M NOT GOING EVER AGAIN!”

Ed rubbed his temples, banging his head against the locked door, contradicting himself. The first day was understandable – Al hadn’t woken up even. Or, he had, but then cried himself to sleep again, slept for an hour, repeat. It was a heart-wrenching cycle, especially with Al stuck behind a locked door.

“Al, we both know that’s illegal, you _have_ to go to school.”

“I hate them, I wish they were dead!”

“Which they will be when Envy’s through with ‘em! So c'mon!”

“ _I_ want to kill them!”

“And how are you gonna do that locked up in your room?” Ed sighed. “I thought I was the irrational one, Al.”

“Shut up, brother.”

Ed obeyed – but only because his pocket was shaking and singing. Seeing the caller id, Ed answered at lighting speed.

“Please tell me you have good news which will get Al out of his damn room,” Ed snapped.

“He’s awake. Get here now,” Envy replied, his voice back to its normal light, arrogant and sarcastic tone. Ed was glad. The weight in Envy’s voice had lifted. Ed hadn’t realised just how caring Envy could be until this chaos.

“Right. Gimme some time to beat the door down and actually get there,” Ed suggested, hanging up. He lifted his voice. “Al! Wrath’s awake!”

There was a loud crash. Ed winced, listening to the stomping and mumbling that followed. The door flew open, revealing his messily dressed brother. Without a word, Al dragged Ed from the house.

 

Wrath looked down at his heavily bandaged arms. He hated the white bandages. White gave him reminders of innocence, of purity – of an untainted world. A white world was one without suffering; just sweet contentment. Wrath didn’t want a world like that. He wanted to see his crime, clear and obvious, not feebly covered in a wrapping of white. It was disgusting, inhumane and selfish, but Wrath wanted to know the power he held over his own life. The scars were his trophies. Why hide his seventy-five trophies?

A hand snaked towards the left arm, his skin making distinguishing colour a challenge. Wrath’s fingers found the rough fabric, pulling a section off clumsily. He was rewarded with a snatch of angry red cuts glaring up at him. A small smile spread across his face. Masochism might be inhumane, but how could something that felt so right be completely contrary to human nature? Wrath really didn’t understand society.

A sudden cry disrupted his thoughts, and before he knew it, a blur was leaping at him. Arms crushed the air from his lungs, a face buried in the crook of his neck. The warmth of tears became obvious.

“Wrath…” Al sobbed, his grip tightening. “I was so afraid t-that… y-you never do that a-again, okay?”

Wrath felt a lump in his throat. He swallowed hard. Al pulled back, watching him. Wrath immediately yanked the blonde back into an embrace, crying himself for the first time.

 

Ed leant against the wall casually, watching Envy on the other side of the closed door subtly. At least he hoped it was subtle. After all, he was “dating”.

“Do you know what it’s all about?” Ed asked, hoping Envy understood his reference.

“Yeah, some retarded seventh graders…”

“Al says it’s his fault…”

“Funny, Wrath says the same thing,” Envy snorted, though he didn’t find it amusing in the least.

“What should we do? Make them change schools?”

“No. Make ‘em suck it up,” Envy replied coolly. “Make ‘em realise what a bitch the world is, and when you’re against a bitch, you kick her with a pointy foot.”

That made sense, in a weird Envy-way.

“You’d make a good parent,” Ed observed playfully.

“Unless there’s someway to get _you_ pregnant, it ain’t gonna happen.”

Ed blushed, gritting his teeth. “Don’t get so cocky, you bastard!”

“Relax, Edo, I’m joking. You take that “Sasuke-is-my-boyfriend” prank too seriously.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Ed snapped.

“That you’re gay and have a thing for your – what was it? – Sasuke-koi,” Envy replied, smirking.

“I _don’t_ like Sasuke!”

“So you _are_ gay,” Envy said, smiling sadistically.

“I… you… SHUT UP!”

“Just remember, Sasuke’s only using you to make the noodle-freak jealous.”

“And I’m using him. It’s equal,” Ed replied, smiling mysteriously.

“Edo has a _cru-u-ush_ ,” Envy sung, barely holding back laughter.

“Grow up!”

“You’re the one who needs to grow up, shrimpy”

“WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-A-SUPER-MIDGET-SO-SMALL-HE’D-BE-CRUSHED-BY-THE-SOUND-WAVES-CREATED-BY-A-BEATING-HEART?” Ed screamed.

The door opened.

“Brother, could you keep it down?” Al asked, glaring. “I’m sure Envy didn’t actually say any of that.”

“Yes, Al.”

The door snapped shut again. Ed rolled his eyes, huffing sulkily. Envy bit his lip, desperately suppressing his desire to laugh.

“So, when do we start killing seventh graders?” Envy asked eagerly. Ignore the fact he is contradicting his earlier statement – Ed did.

“How about we kill one, then spike his head on a spear and leave it outside the grade seven corridor with a sign saying “decorations courtesy of Wrath’s brother”?” Ed suggested wildly.

“…not bad.”

“It’s what I’m gonna do someday so people won’t call me short,” Ed said, grinning manically. Envy edged away slightly.

“And what about Al?”

“Al said he doesn’t care what they do to him, as long as they leave Wrath alone.”

“…those two are clones, I swear.”

Ed shook his head. “The term is “in love”. Though they’re similar. Both are clichéd and rare.”

“That was cute,” Envy said, before adding thoughtfully; “Do you have a high amount of female hormones?”

“WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-SO-GIRLIE-HE-SHOULD-BECOME-A-CHEERLEADER?” Ed screamed.

“BROTHER!”

Envy put a finger to his lip. “That’s actually not a bad idea…”

“I AM NOT GOING TO CROSS-DRESS YOU FREAK!”

“DON’T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE, BROTHER!”

Ed pouted, arms crossed over his chest. Now what was Envy plotting?

 

Reluctantly, Al attended school the next day. Due to his stubborn protests and cries of Wrath needing him, they were over an hour late. Ed announced that he would walk Al to his second period class, Home Economics. Just their luck that the teacher be out of the room when they arrived.

“Look, it’s the homo.”

“Dammit, I was hoping they’d died…”

Al bit his lip, fists shaking with rage. He moved forward to act, but was beaten by Ed. Who answered their comments with swift boots to their heads.

“If I ever hear of you mother fucking bastards talking about my brother like that again, I’ll cut your fucking retarded heads off and spike them on a spear as a warning to all the other homophobic, incestuous bastards who would sleep with their own mother for attention that they shouldn’t mess with the Elric brothers!” Ed replied, speaking in a swift, snappy tone, yet every person in the room could hear the severity of his words. He meant it. The bruises on Benji and Jake’s foreheads was evidence enough. The fact that they weren’t dead was evidence enough of Ed’s deadly skill.

The entire room was silent. Al has smacked a hand to his forehead, groaning in embarrassment.

“Brother, you didn’t have to go that far…”

“I hate these sons-of-bitches, and it’s been so long since I got a good ol’ German-style kill. A blood-bath of teenie boppers would be nice,” Ed said, grinning maliciously. He watched the horrified seventh graders from the corner of his eye.

“Brother! We’re not supposed to reveal German secrets!” Al hissed, playing along.

Just then, the teacher walked into the room. Her pink vest was hard on the eyes, completely contrary to her black jeans. Her falsely red hair was cropped extremely short, like it had recently been shaved off.

“Alphonse. You’re late,” she said, as stern as her slow, steady voice would allow.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Ed cut in. “It was a traditional _German_ holiday.”

Dozens of people flinched at the stressed noun.

“Alright then. Alphonse, you will be cooking with Benji, Jake and Jemima,” the teacher said.

As he departed, Ed shot a warning glare at the bruised boys. The look was screaming “you’re going to be murdered tonight when you fall asleep because I’m a crazy German stalker and know where you live”. Thankfully they were paranoid and seemed to take Ed’s warning worse than he had intended.

“What a nice boy,” the teacher observed. Half the class flinched. “Alphonse, you go join that work bench.”

Grudgingly, Al obeyed.

“Dude, your bro is a spazz,” Benji announced.

“Brother is capable of stringing together a proper sentence,” Al shot back, eyes shouting “unlike you”.

“Kay.”

“Your recipes are in front of you, please begin,” a voice interrupted.

“So, where’s your boyfriend?” Jake asked, sneering thickly.

“He’s sick,” Al replied with a secretive smile.

“…whoa, dude, you, like, admit you’re gay?”

“Either that or bi. It doesn’t really matter which, does it? Wrath’s my boyfriend,” Al replied shamelessly.

“…shit, what do we do?” Jake whispered to Benji.

“I dunno! I never expected a confession like that – we need a group meeting!”

Al barely held in his giggles. People can be so stupid.

 

Ed came into science, chucking a note towards the teacher and immediately moving to sit as close to Sasuke as possible – as was expected of a pet. Ed wondered if this was how Sasuke really would treat his boyfriend or girlfriend; like they were a trophy, something brilliant and shiny that needed to be showed off. It made Ed feel amazing. He knew it was an act, he knew he was mere a tool in Sasuke’s plan, but he _felt_ adored.

Amazingly, Sasuke could be almost sweet. Ed wondered where he had learnt such stuff, and began taking notes. Someday, he would be in a real relationship, and he did want to know how to act.

When Ed took his seat beside Sasuke, he was greeted with a kiss. On the cheek, but still a kiss. It took a lot of self-control not to freak out – but the blush was real. It’s not everyday you get kissed so sweetly.

“Sorry, Al was having an emotional break down,” Ed whispered.

“And why is Envy gone too, _dattebayo_?” Naruto asked suspiciously.

“Because our little brothers are dating.”

“…oh.”

“Actually, Wrath threw a fit, which lead to Al’s break down, and Wrath’s doing something, I dunno,” Ed explained vaguely.

“ELRIC! PAY ATTENTION OR I’LL MAKE YOU DRINK THIS SULPHURIC ACID!”

Knowing the damage that acid caused, Ed listened obediently. Never doubt someone with a weapon.


	10. Chibis and Pockey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stares at chapter title
> 
> are you fucking kidding me 14-year-old self

Dante came to take him home. Dante, actually making an effort with her children? It didn’t seem likely or possible. Wrath suspected that she wanted something, that she would gain something from this.

There was silence in the car as they drove. Wrath felt the question plaguing his mind yet again, the same as every time he saw her. This time, Wrath decided it was finally time to question.

“Dante…” he started, still hesitating. “Um… I wanna ask you something…”

“Please continue, then.”

“I don’t know when I heard this… or whether it was real, or a dream, or a hallucination… but someone said that you’re not my real mother,” Wrath continued, hoping the question was obvious. Dante wasn’t an idiot, just a bit oblivious.

Dante gave a single chuckle. “That would be Envy’s idea of a joke.”

“It wasn’t Envy who said it. It was you.”

“We’ll discuss this later, Wrath.”

Wrath frowned. Dante acted like there was always time, always the chance to wait for a more comfortable place. Hadn’t this shown her that she was wrong? Or was her ego really so huge she couldn’t see her own faults? It seemed so, because Wrath knew later would never come.

“Okay.”

Slumping back, Wrath watched the city fly past. She wasn’t making an effort. She was trying to be the victim again.

They pulled up into the driveway. Wrath spotted several cars parked outside, three clearly rented. One he recognised as Greed’s. He was slightly disappointed that Envy’s bike was gone. Envy did always come up with some insane way to break the heavy mood of a family gathering, generally a prank or snide comments.

They reached the door, Dante throwing the heavy wooden slab open. They were immediately greeted with the sight of a family fight. Greed was holding the remote over his head, standing on the couch. Sloth was trying to grab it, Lust and Gluttony watching silently. Pride was nowhere to be seen.

“I should get the choice, I’ve just come from America!”

“And it shows.”

“What does that mean?” Sloth asked coldly. Wrath understood, barely able to hold back his laughter.

“Your accent,” Greed replied smoothly.

“Well, you try living in a foreign country and not adopting their accent!”

“Oh, I will.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to watch this comedy bullshit.”

“I was here first.”

Dante tutted disapprovingly.

“Cartoon Network,” Wrath intervened, smiling cheekily.

“WRATH!” Sloth cried, rushing straight over to him, hugging him tightly. “You poor, poor child, you don’t have to smile if you don’t want to, I’ll get you taken away from this awful place.”

“I don’t wanna leave,” Wrath huffed.

“Wrath, you’re clearly not happy here, you’ll be so much better in America with Lust and me.”

“I want to stay here.”

The familiar roar of a bike interrupted the conversation. Wrath listened, hearing a familiar voice yelling.

“YOU MANIAC! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?”

Wrath laughed slightly.

“BREAK A RECORD? WITH ME AND AL ON THE BACK? YOU IDIOT!”

The door burst open. Envy came in, waved to Wrath, ignoring everyone else as he snatched the remote off Greed, flicking through channels until he found Wrath’s favourite.

Ed and Al burst in after him, their conversation continuing.

“He’s a maniac,” Ed hissed.

“Brother, you’re the one who threatened to slaughter an entire class,” Al sighed.

“That’s different!”

“Edo…” Envy started, glancing over at Ed.

“What?”

“Shut up.”

Ed gritted his teeth, but obeyed.

“Hi Al,” Wrath said casually.

His reply was a glomp.

The family watched, amazed, as Al held onto Wrath, refusing to let go. Ed merely rolled his eyes, plonking down beside Envy on the couch, watching a cartoon about imaginary friends. Ed shot Envy a glare.

“You’re insane.”

“Hmm, love you too, Edo.”

Ed blushed slightly, continuing to glare. “Should you introduce us to your family?”

Envy rolled his eyes slightly. “The one hugging Wrath is Al, the cynical shrimp beside me is Ed.”

“NOT. A. SHRIMP!”

“Shorty, then.”

“I AM NOT SO SHORT YOU COULD GET ME CONFUSED WITH MICROSCOPIC SEA LIFE!”

“Cute kid, Envy,” Greed snorted.

Ed shot him a glare, ready to demand that he definitely wasn’t eleven, but Al, who had released Wrath at some point, shot him a warning glare. Defeated, he merely slumped with a pout and watched half-heartedly as Wrath properly introduced Al to his siblings. Ed didn’t know exactly why, but he was envious of the couple, holding hands without a care or shame. He was, after all, only pretending to care for Sasuke. Being shameless about it didn’t matter; if Sasuke was hurt by it, Ed would deem it the other’s own fault – whose idea had it been? Who was the one who started everything? Ed knew if anything happened it was Sasuke’s fault. But, if there was someone he cared about… how far would he go to protect them? Would it be anything like his over-protection of Al? Was there really someone out there, with no blood ties, he cared about so much that he would give his own life? It seemed so far-fetched.

Not surprisingly, Al was getting along famously with the dysfunctional family. They had all accepted him, and were swapping stories of the past. It seemed every sibling had a different father, half of them with no idea who that man could be. Things didn’t get awkward until they began asking questions back.

“Oh… um…” Al said, completely unsure of where to start. He glanced to Ed for support.

“We live alone,” Ed put simply, “Mum died years ago, and Hohenheim’s a crappy parent.”

“That’s a bit harsh, brother…” Al said, though not really denying it.

“Did you say your father’s name is Hohenheim?” a voice asked from the back of the room.

Glancing over his shoulder, Ed spotted a young woman, with black hair, waxy skin and a cruel smile. Judging from the hatred etched on the sin sibling’s faces, this must be their mother.

“Yeah,” Ed replied coolly.

“Von Hohenheim, the famous scientist?”

“Unfortunately. You know him?”

She smiled, some-what wistfully. “Yes, very well. Hohenheim and I were engaged a very long time ago.”

Ed’s jaw dropped. He was certain Al’s did the same. “You’re kiddin’ right?”

“Not at all. Send him my regards.”

Ed frowned heavily. “We don’t talk to him. Tell him yourself.”

She gave a humourless chuckle before walking away, heels clicking.

“That is our bitch mother,” Envy said, glaring where said bitch mother had stood. “Ignore her, she’s just an attention-seeking, washed-up actress and crack whore.”

The others murmured their agreement, but Ed couldn’t help but think there was more to that woman than met the eye…

 

Wrath sat alone, fidgeting, in the clean office. Everything was perfectly straight and symmetrical – the stacks of paper on the Huon pine desk, the framed diplomas on the walls, the hard-cover books in the book case (ordered by colour; a row of red, a row of green and a row of black), the orange-brown carpet that reminded him of jafas, the black leather couch he sat on, the plushies with big cartoon-style eyes… wait… plushies? Sure enough, an entire wall was decorated with small, plush and cute forms of all kinds of animated characters. Wrath recognised some from Cartoon Network, though not by name.

The door opened. A surprisingly young brunette came in, hair tied back in a loose pony-tail. She wore glasses lacking lenses and a very official suit, carrying a clipboard and a mug of what Wrath assumed to be coffee. She sat down at her desk, sending a hyper smile across at him.

“Hi! I’m Kari, your new shrink. I hope we’ll be SUPER pals!” she chirped brightly.

“Um… okay…”

“Now then, you’re Wrath?”

“Yeah…”

“You’re thirteen? Wow, I was thirteen once!”

Wrath rolled his eyes slightly.

“And, erm… how do you feel?”

“At this exact moment in time?”

“Yeah!”

“I’m confused. Very, very confused,” Wrath replied. ‘ _Am I more sane than my shrink?’_

“That’s not good – you should be happy!”

“That’s why I’m here, isn’t it? Because I’m not happy.”

“Oh yeah…”

Silence followed.

“Okay. Wrath. We have… fifty-five minutes remaining. Just talk to me about your everyday life,” Kari requested, after consulting some notes. She took out a notebook and pen. “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Um… okay… erm… I get up, get dressed, make breakfast, eat it, make my lunch and Envy’s because he always forgets and would kill me if I don’t, the Envy gives me a life to school, where I meet up with Al and we go to whatever subjects we have. Then, at the end of the day, I go home with Envy,” Wrath explained, deliberately leaving out several details.

“And you’re not missing anything out?” Kari asked, eyebrows inclined. She definitely knew.

“…I normally cut myself in the morning a few times, and then a lot when I get home. Sometimes at school,” Wrath confessed reluctantly. For the hyper, happy ball of energy she was, Kari already was showing herself to be an expert at worming information out of people.

“And, why exactly do you cut?”

“There’s a few reasons. One is for Al. I hurt Al, so I hurt myself, since he and his brother believe in karma so much. Another is… I like to know how much control I can have over my life. It’s a pain _I_ control, and no-one else. It’s mine. And then, there’s the fact that it brings me back to reality. I don’t really want to have all those stupid dreams… I just want to live,” Wrath explained, amazed at how good it felt to open up.

“I understand,” Kari said kindly, smiling. “What’s your relationship with Al?”

“He’s my boyfriend now,” Wrath said, smiling giddily at the term. “Before, we were just best friends, but I’ve had a crush on him all year, and in the hospital we got together officially.”

“That’s sweet,” Kari squealed.

“…it doesn’t offend you?”

“Not at all.”

Wrath smiled slightly. “Good, I’m sick of people being homophobes… I don’t know how Envy deals with it.”

“Who’s Envy? Your brother?”

“Yeah. He’s always looked after me a lot, Dante’s not really a very good parent,” Wrath replied. “He’s cool, gay too, and is a little bit over-protective – but I don’t know he likes me, okay?”

Kari laughed. “Of course he likes you, he’s your brother. Blood is thicker than oil.”

“Is it?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, but that sounds cool,” Kari replied. She reached into a desk draw, pulling out a red packet of something. She threw it to Wrath, who caught perfectly. “It’s Pocky. Yummy.”

“Uh… thanks?”

“So, excuse my bluntness, but why’d you try suicide?” Kari asked as Wrath munched on some Pocky sticks.

Wrath coughed heavily. He hadn’t been expecting that question so soon! Swallowing some saliva to clear his throat, Wrath pondered his answer. Kari waited patiently, eating some Pocky of her own.

“…because it hurt so much… nothing else could snap me out of it… Al was hurting so much, he was crying… when someone suggested it, I just couldn’t help but think how much better death would be,” Wrath replied quietly.

“You could get them arrested, you know,” Kari said thoughtfully. “It’s illegal to assist suicide, and bullying, in many ways, is a weapon. Anyone who bullies you from now on is committing a serious crime, almost murder.”

Wrath blinked, amazed. “Really?”

“Really really.”

Wrath smirked evilly. “Glad you told me…”

 

Envy watched the scene before him, eye twitching slightly in rage. “Do they have to act so damn _convincingly_?”

Roy looked up, seeing Ed and Sasuke sitting a few metres ahead of them, sitting very close together on the bench between two large pine trees, over looking the sea. It was a cute sight to all but the jealous and homophobic.

“They’re acting?” Ling asked, amazed.

“Yes, retard, you just realised?” Envy snarled.

“They’re very convincing,” Ran agreed, glaring at Envy.

“In fact, the whole school thinks they’re serious,” Riza added.

“There’s a pool for when we’ll first see them publicly make-out,” Havoc added, loving the furious glare on Envy’s face.

“I think you’re jealous,” Roy said, smirking.

“Nuh-uh!”

The other all exchanged looks.

“Sure, Envy…”

“Anything you say…”

“Denial is for idiots, after all.”

“Shut up! You guys are stupid!” Envy snapped. “I don’t like Edo!”

“…who ever said you like Ed?”

“Aww, a pet name?”

“You guys are going to die!”

“Okay, Envy, let’s talk about this rationally,” Roy suggested, smirking. “We hint that you might be jealous that someone else has a boyfriend, and you snap that you don’t like Ed. You have a nickname for him. You’re always staring at him. Your scribbles in class could be taken to look like him. You break things whenever he’s around Sasuke, and no-one’s foot can slip that many times…”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Envy snarled. “I’ve got some demented obsession with the pipsqueak who is pretending to date the Asian asshole. Now what do I do about it?”

That was a question the others hadn’t been expecting.

“Tell him how you feel,” Riza suggested nonchalantly. “That’s simple, even you should be able to manage it.”

“Something quiet and simple, huh?” Envy said thoughtfully.

“Nah,” his friends instantly concluded.

Envy huffed. Great friends he had.

“Just do something drastic,” Roy shrugged.

“…drastic, dramatic, dangerous – me like,” Envy said, smirking.

“Just do something that’ll catch his attention for a very, very long time,” Hughes added. “Like, with my Gracia, I –”

“Stop that, Maes,” Roy warned coldly.

“When are you going to find yourself a nice girl, Roy? Or a boy?”

“Maes!”

Hughes opened his mouth to add more playful comments, but Riza shot him a very frightening look of warning, before her eyes inexplicably fell upon Havoc.

“Envy, I think I might have the prefect plan for you…” Roy said, smirking.

“And how soon?” Envy asked, eye twitching as he saw Sasuke move.

“Next week. At the Swimming Carnival,” Roy said, “we need something to spice it up a bit – all you have to do is follow my instructions.”

“I can do that,” Envy said, grinning evilly. “So what do I need?”

Roy told him, and instantly, Envy was starting to regret it…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any OC Karis mentioned in this fic are in no way related to any other OC Karis I have ever written. A friend was feeling sad and wanted to be in the fic, so I put her in and used the name she chose. I hope she was comforted, though I dunno why being in THIS could comfort anybody.


	11. Master Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cheerleader envy

It was only a week after Wrath’s attempt, but he was ready. He refused to put it off any longer. He was ready.

He was acting extremely nonchalant, walking into home-room five minutes late. Envy had been giving him an updated version of the kicking scheme – the version for homophobes, including twice as many kicks. At the least.

Their teacher knew. Wrath could tell by the thoughtful, curious frown, which could easily be interest in his absence. What gave it away was the infuriating look of fear. His teacher was afraid of him, a person willing to take his own life. He was clearly one of those people who found anything abnormal frightening – like the rest of this damn school. Shooting him a glare, Wrath sat beside a very wide-eyed Al.

“Wrath, you _idiot_!” Al whispered as the chatter began again. “You shouldn’t have come back!”

“Hey Al, did you know it’s illegal to bully a suicidal person?” Wrath asked, smirking.

“Keep your voice down, they’ll tear you apart,” Al pleaded.

“No, not with you here. Never again.”

Al couldn’t help but blush.

 

Sasuke had tried to cover the tint of purple on his cheek, but had failed. At a mere glance, no-one would notice. When looking closely, they would see the left cheek to be slightly swollen and the very faint trace of bruising.

It really wasn’t Sasuke’s fault. Winry had finally found out about his “relationship” with Ed on the weekend, and her reaction… well, at least she hadn’t had her wrench handy.

“ _You heartless bastard!_ _You knew, didn’t you? You know how I feel! You had better not break Edward’s heart, you idiot!”_

That had been when the slap struck.

The only reason Sasuke hadn’t returned the favour was the fact that he understood. He knew what it was like to have someone you care for that much, and to see him hanging off someone else. Which was why he continued this act, for the sake of his own love. The longer this went, the more intimate he and Edward appeared, the more jealous Naruto was growing – and, clearly, more aware of his feelings. Since Naruto had started to avoid him, Sasuke had started more obvious advances. He was amazed Ed hadn’t called the whole thing off. Freakishly enough, the blonde seemed to like their fake relationship. Often Sasuke wondered if Ed needed to be reminded they were acting.

Sitting in the stands, looking across at the end of the outdoor pool and near the flat stone roof of the change rooms and reception, Sasuke had an arm gingerly around Ed’s shoulders.

The act was getting old.

 

“I swear, if this doesn’t work, you are going to be DECAPITATED!” Envy snarled, wrapping a large towel around himself.

“It’ll work. All my plans work,” Roy replied confidently.

“Then why isn’t everyone wearing mini-skirts?” Envy snapped.

Roy rolled his eyes, muttering.

“Is Edo even here?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Honestly, you wouldn’t want to know…”

Envy’s eyes narrowed. “With the Asian asshole?”

“Definitely.”

Envy growled. “What time is it?”

“The first event starts in ten minutes,” Roy replied coolly.

“Okay… help me find a ladder.”

 

Roy walked over to the stands, spotting Ed, Sasuke, Alphonse and Wrath amongst the blue crowd. Smirking, he took note of the slight discomfort in Ed’s expression. Moving closer, he sat down near them, making sure to keep an eye on the time and roof.

They exchanged mild and lazy greetings. Ed glanced around curiously.

“Where’s Envy?”

Roy smirked. ‘ _Putting up a show, pipsqueak?’_

Wrath sniggered, biting his hand to suppress the sound. Al gave him a curious look. Wrath whispered something in Al’s ear, whose eyes then went wide and he too began to giggle. Ed shot them a glare.

“He’s helping with the carnival,” Roy replied, skilfully keeping a perfectly straight face. “You’ll see him in a minute or two.”

Muffled laughter came from Wrath.

“What’s wrong with you?” Ed asked.

“Uh… hallucination.”

“You’re depressed, not delusional.”

“Brother!” Al cried, horrified at his brother’s bluntness.

“We hallucinate too, if we want something in some form of subconscious desire,” Wrath replied, glad for Kari’s mocking of the official terms. To put it as she did: “People see stuff that isn’t there ‘cos they wanna”.

“Whatever,” Ed dismissed.

“Welcome, students, we’re finally ready to start the races. We’ll start with grade seven boys freestyle, twenty-five metres,” the voice of the principal announced.

An upbeat tune began to play loudly. Students and teachers glanced around, surprised by the unexpected twist. They soon were all glancing towards the speakers planted outside the change rooms.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash in the stands. Heads turned in the opposite direction. Roy smirked, glad Havoc had done his job. Perfect, as always. The rest of his group moved in closer, making sure to be at least within hearing range of Ed.

The beat changed suddenly, a whisper and light beat that everyone had to strain their ears to hear, before…

“ _GO!”_

Five uprising notes followed, each accented by a cartwheel of the figure. They stood there, arms raised in the air, grinning.

“…what…the…hell?” Ed breathed, blushing faintly.

Wearing a baby blue, stretchy top with a swooping v-neck and a tiny, navy-blue mini-skirt, light blue knee-high socks and with a large, navy “1” in the centre of the top was…

“Like, oh em ge! That’s, like, a cheerleader!”

“Why don’t _I_ , like, know there’s, like, cheerleaders?”

“…isn’t that Envy?”

As if the green hair wasn’t a big enough give away.

“Please tell me this is a dream…” Ed muttered.

“You dream about Envy?”

Ed’s blush deepened. “Ark! No!”

Roy smirked. Ed was absolutely transfixed by the sight of Envy dancing on the roof, and he doubted it was because of the flips.

“Roy…”

“Yeeees?”

“Why the _hell_ did you agree to let him do that?” Ed asked, the snap in his voice sounding weak.

“I thought you were enjoying it,” Roy said, his gaze lifting to Hughes, Havoc, Ling, Ran and Riza.

“Same here,” Havoc agreed.

“I was already to take picture of a new couple.”

“He’s obsessed.”

“He is,” Ran stated coolly.

“Brother, you’re still looking at him, and we’re questioning you,” Al sighed.

“Not you too!”

“Look at people when you talk to them.”

Growling, Ed tore his eyes away. He hadn’t even realised Sasuke had moved away – or that his had been one of the voices to agree.

“What the hell is he trying to prove?” Ed cried.

Roy shrugged.

Wrath couldn’t stop himself any longer. He exploded laughing.

“If… hahaha! Only we… hahahahaha! Had a haaaaaahahaaha! CAMERA!”

“I’m already filming it,” Hughes stated, and sure enough, he had whipped out a portable video camera.

Wrath couldn’t stop laughing.

“I think my brother might want a copy,” Al teased.

“SHUT UP! I DO NOT!”

It was obvious no-one listening to the conversation (a lot of people – half the blue house) believed him.

Ed sat back down, pouting. “When does he stop?”

“Whenever he wants. Which he doesn’t seem to want to.”

The song ended.

“WE’VE GOT TEAM SPIRIT!” Envy announced with a wink.

Half the school burst out laughing. The teachers were moving closer.

“Ling, Ran,” Roy hissed, jerking his head toward the teachers. Nodding in understanding, the two snuck off.

“Hey, Ed,” Wrath started, grinning, “Envy told me to bring a spare costume in case you wanted to join him.”

Ed twitched heavily.

Wrath pulled the stretchy blue outfit from his bag, waving it in front of Ed’s face.

Ed twitched.

“WHAT THE HELL IS HIS PROBLEM?” Ed cried.

“Envy! Get down from there now and you won’t be suspended,” a small teacher stated. “Sure, maybe a few sessions with the school councillor…”

Envy shrugged and moved to the back of the roof, hearing disappointed groans. He immediately turned around and walked back. “The ladder’s gone.”

Cheering erupted. Ling and Ran snuck back into the crowd, Ling smiling victoriously.

“…oh. Carry on then.”

More cheering. Envy smirked. The crowd was his.

“Where’s the music coming from?” Al asked.

“The speakers are attached to Envy’s iPod, which is set on shuffle,” Roy replied, smiling slightly at the sheer genius of it all.

The song changed.

“ _Baby can't you see I'm calling A guy like you should wear a warning It's dangerous I'm falling There's no escape I can't wait I need a hit Baby give me it You're dangerous I'm loving it.”_

Laughter sounded, especially from Wrath.

“You said it was his iPod, right?” Ed asked doubtfully.

Roy was halfway between shock and laughter, but nodded.

Envy seemed to take the embarrassment in his stride, continuing his cheering. Ed couldn’t help but think how contrary this seemed. Envy, the selfish, sadistic bastard, a cheerleader? Weren’t cheerleaders created to add extra excitement, interest and keep people cheery? Granted, a lot of this was attained through perky sex appeal, but Envy being that _cheery_? It was frightening. Extremely horrifying, and made Ed wonder just how well he knew Envy… maybe he should know Envy better. For Al’s sake. Yeah. He should know Al’s boyfriend’s half-brother well.

…that point sounded incredibly lame, even in Ed’s mind.

Sighing, Ed tore his eyes away, ignoring another shout about team-spirit, finally realising Sasuke was gone. Just when he needed his mind off Envy.

 

The novelty of a cross-dressing cheerleader faded by noon. Envy was damn glad. Wearing a skanky uniform and dancing around to random songs wasn’t his idea of a good plan. He had asked why he couldn’t just save Ed’s life or something mushy like that, but Roy had snorted and declared it a no-no. Then he had the nerve to suggest Envy was afraid. If this damn plan didn’t work, Envy would make Roy wish there was a Hell.

Walking across the roof, Envy was glad to find a large, white drain-pipe. He climbed down awkwardly, the process harder than it seemed in movies. Nonetheless, he succeeded and swiftly began cursing the sons-of-bitches who had stolen the ladder.

“Thought you couldn’t get down.”

Envy glanced over his shoulder, smirking. “Needed some excuse.”

The blonde rolled his eyes. Envy turned around, a hand on his hip.

“Were you coming to see me, Ed-o-o-o?” Envy purred.

“No!” Ed cried, a light blush spreading.

“Sure, sure. I bet you found my cheerleading incredibly sexy.”

“Did not!” Ed cried, sounding like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Denial isn’t healthy, pipsqueak,” Envy replied, tutting.

“I’m not in denial! AND I AM NOT A PIPSQUEAK CRUSHED BY DOUBT!”

“Now you’re even heavier in it, you’re in denial that you’re in denial,” Envy observed. “Oh, and about your height.”

“I-AM-NOT-A-PIPSQUEAK-BEAN-SO-TINY-HE-DROWNS-IN-HALF-A-DROP-OF-WATER!”

Envy replied by patting Ed on the head. “No need to lie to yourself.”

Ed watched Envy walk away, puzzled over his words.

 

There he was. Smiling, laughing, with new people. Sasuke felt a twinge of jealousy but kept his face void of emotion. Their entire relationship was built off rivalry. They had hated each other, becoming rivals during a school assignment, slowly progressing into friendly rivals. From there, friendship with a hint of rivalry formed, and before he left, they had been mutual best friends, despite neither having stated it. Why should that relationship stop progressing? So what if Naruto was probably Itachi’s spy. Since Ed wasn’t going to play along in the jealousy game for much longer, Sasuke decided it was time to patch things up. Hopefully, Naruto would lie to the nail-polish freak.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said, standing behind the blonde.

Naruto stiffened slightly, before turning around. He looked surprised. _“What is it, Sasuke-bastard?”_

Since they had started with rivalry that was where they should start again.

 _“I want to race you,”_ Sasuke said, smirking slightly.

Naruto looked stunned for a moment, before grinning. _“I wanna race you too! Dattebayo!”_

_“I know.”_

Naruto grinned, glad to know Sasuke acknowledged him once more.

 

Two figures came up to Al and Wrath. They were recognised to be Benji and Gloria.

“Why aren’t you guys, like, swimming?” Gloria demanded.

“Because I’m German.”

Alas, Al’s nationality seemed to have no effect.

“Not an excuse, we need lots of points for our team!”

“Can’t swim,” Wrath replied coolly.

“Yes, you can, you said you’re, like, a swimming champion on your _Who am I?_ poster,” Gloria said smartly.

“Let it go, Glors, I don’t wanna swim in the same water as some fags,” Benji said coldly.

“We’re not cigarettes,” Al said.

“Not that kind, Al,” Wrath groaned.

“Oh, then the fact we love each other and they’re jealous?” Al asked innocently. Wrath bit back his laughter when horror spread across their classmates’ faces.

“You think you’re pretty damn good, don’t you?” Benji snarled.

“TEAM SPIRIT!” someone screamed in Benji’s ear.

“Ah! SHIT!” Benji cried, whirling around to see Envy. “Dude, you’re a dude.”

Envy snorted. “Genetics weren’t very nice to you, huh?”

“…w’at?”

“My point exactly,” Envy sighed. “Listen, I’m a very tired – and _gay_ – cheerleader who could kick your sorry ass and will castrate you both if you talk to my brother again. Move.”

“You can’t castrate me, I’m, like, a girl,” Gloria replied curtly, flicking her hair.

“…really?” Envy asked, surprised. “And people think _I’m_ gender-confused.”

“You son of a bitch!”

“Yeah, she is.”

“SHUT UP!”

“Move,” Envy ordered, “or I’ll bash your face in with my “team spirit”.”

The two bullies scurried away like mice.

“Thanks, Envy.”

“I _hate_ teenie boppers,” Envy growled, grabbing his drink bottle and walking away.

 

The sports carnival was over. Greed came to pick up Envy and Wrath, exploding with laughter at the sight.

“Shut up and drive, dammit!” Envy snapped, slamming the car door shut.

“Okay, okay… I know you like wearing skirts –” Greed started.

“DRIVE!”

Greed obeyed.

“He did it to get attention,” Wrath announced.

“Shut UP you little –”

“It’s illegal to pick on a suicidal person,” Wrath said pertly. Envy growled, glaring out the window.

“Attention, from who?” Greed asked.

“Ed,” Wrath said, grinning cruelly.

“…the short blondie who chucked a spazz?”

“Exactly.”

“Aww, Envy’s growing up,” Greed sniggered.

“SHUT THE HELL UP!”

The rough beat of a ring-tone sounded. Cursing the universe, Envy reached for his bag and pulled his mobile phone out.

“What?” he snapped.

 _“No need to be so grumpy, Envy,”_ Roy’s voice said. He was smirking.

“You fucking jack-ass, your retarded plan _failed miserably_!”

 _“Did it, now?”_ Roy asked.

“Yes, he was just disturbed, you fuck-wit,” Envy growled.

_“Did you notice how long Edward was watching you?”_

“…no…”

_“It was a long time. Just wait a bit longer.”_

“No, you fucked up, I’m going to brutally slaughter you tomorrow!”

_“Just wait.”_

The dial tone sounded. Envy snarled, hating the world more.

 

“ Edo!”

“What?”

“Edo-o-o-o-o!”

“What?”

“EDO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!”

“WHAT?”

Envy appeared before him, wearing the skimpy cheerleading outfit. He threw himself at Ed, wrapping his arms around the blonde. Ed couldn’t help but blush, blood pounding all around his body.

“Show me your team spirit!” Envy chirped.

“What happened to your voice?” Ed asked, shuddering slightly.

“I’m happy, Edo, because you’re here,” Envy purred, nuzzling Ed’s neck.

“…um…erm…uh…” Ed replied, wrapping his arms around Envy.

“Well, aren’t you gonna help me cheer?”

“Why should I?”

“If you show team spirit…” Envy started, smiling cutely. “I’ll fuck you!”

“Go team!” Ed cried.

Envy smiled and expressed his glee, before wrapping his legs around Ed’s waist and kissing him deeply.

“Ahh!” Ed cried, sitting up. Checking around him, he found himself in bed. It was four in the morning. Groaning, Ed relaxed, slowly becoming more and more aware of the sticky mess around him. Gasping in horror, Ed had no choice but to face the truth.

He was definitely attracted to Envy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like i said i'm not rereading this as i post it but
> 
> i apologise for the inevitable cissexism/binarism/transphobia involved with this chapter and would like to point out in defence of my past self for once that at the time i wrote this, i was in therapy being regularly told that if i identified gender by anything but anatomy it was a sign of delusions. i was in therapy for delusions. yeah. *pats 14-year-old self* you still suck so much but damn, kid.


	12. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk but i died laughing for about five minutes at the last few lines

“Brother! It’s time for school,” Al called.

“Not going, I’m sick!”

Al rolled his eyes. “You’re not sick.”

Ed shuddered, rubbing his temples. “Yes I am, Al, I’m very, very, _very_ sick.”

“I know you’re faking it, brother, stop being so childish.”

Ed felt rage bubble within him. “Dammit, why’re you doubting me? I’m sick! Sick, sick, sick! I can’t face Envy!”

Ed stiffened in horror, hands clasped over his mouth.

‘ _Oops…’_

“Envy? How is it Envy’s fault?” Al asked, grinning curiously.

A heavy blush spread across Ed’s face. He promptly covered it with his hands, despite having locked himself in the bathroom. He knew he had very few options. One was denial – to deny having ever let that slip, to deny the dream, to deny the fact his sheets were in the dryer right now. Another was honesty, but that was too embarrassing. The third was ignorance. He would ignore Al’s questioning, ignore Envy and ignore any gossip about cheerleaders. Ignorance never had been his forte, but it sure sounded better than denial.

‘ _What was it Envy said? Denial about denial? Yeah right. I’m not in denial over anything. Last night was just… a one-off. Yeah.’_

Ed slid the lock off, opening the door. He made sure to keep his head bowed and avoid eye contact as he returned to his room and quickly changed. Shoving several books into his bag, regardless of subjects, he moodily stomped from the house.

Al watched his brother go, sighing heavily. “When will you admit it?”

 

“Like, oh em ge! Did you guys, like, know there was, like, a cheerleading squad?”

“No! Like, not fair!”

“Why was that gaybo chosen, and, like, not us? We’re hotter!”

“Because _someone_ , like, won’t stay off the, like, chocolate cake!”

“Uh! Bitch!”

“But, like, we’re still hotter than, like, Envy!”

“Yeah, totally!”

Someone shoved through their group.

“Hey! Like, watch it!”

Envy glared back at them. “Shut up, boppers.”

“Boppers? We’re, like, so not boppers!”

Envy laughed, before walking away.

“URK! He’s so, like, annoying!”

Envy stormed through the corridors, scanning with furious eyes. He ignored the tones of blue, red and white, searching for a snatch of black or royal blue. His fists were clenched by his sides, ready to punch that smirking face purple.

Before he managed to see a tall, black haired teen, however, he spotted a short, blushing blonde quickly turning away. Angry glare replaced with a cocky smirk, Envy tapped him on the shoulder. Ed jumped slightly, but didn’t turn around.

“It’s rude to ignore people, Edo,” Envy whispered breathily in Ed’s ear. A glowing blush spread across Ed’s face. Envy grinned, glad with the result.

‘ _Maybe you’re smarter than you seem, Pony.’_

“C’mon, Edo, look at me,” Envy whispered.

Ed shook his head.

“I’m not wearing my cheerleading outfit.”

Ed stiffened slightly before wisely stepping forward.

“Shrimp.”

“WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-A-SUPER-MINI-SHRIMP-WHO-CAN’T-GET-OVER-YOUR-CHEERLEADING-OUTFIT?” Ed screamed, turning around and roughly punching at Envy.

“Oh, does that mean you wish I _was_ wearing it?”

“…shut up! I don’t!”

“What’s with the pause, hmm?”

“Mind your own business!”

“If I’m involved, it’s my business, don’t ya think?”

Ed glared furiously up at Envy, his aura murderous. “Leave. Me. ALONE!”

Envy didn’t seem taken back by this. “If you want me to leave you alone, why haven’t you walked away?”

Ed couldn’t think of an answer. He just let his mouth hang slightly open, waiting for the words to pour out. None did. His mind couldn’t think of anything to say. It was all running in a circle; Envy’s question, and then a question of his own.

‘ _Why can’t I?’_

It wasn’t his pride. Not entirely, anyway. Normally, he’d just get the last spiteful comment in then go. And, since it was Envy, who strived for attention, ignorance was insult enough. And his rage… well, that existed because Envy wouldn’t drop the subject and hate him. Ed wasn’t sure if he really wanted Envy to hate him, but he understood hate better than affection. He hated being confused and naïve most of all. These emotions confused him, therefore, he wanted them gone. So, why couldn’t he leave the source? Why couldn’t he walk away and just forget Envy?

‘ _Because I want to understand.’_

Of course. But that curiosity was natural – he was a prodigy; he wanted to understand the way the world works. Ed knew that before he can even begin to understand humanity, he would need to understand himself. But all of this – that dream, his blushing and the strange fluttering sensation – was what he felt the lust he originally believed? Just four hours ago he had the startlingly obvious revelation that he was definitely attracted to Envy, how could it be more than lust?

‘ _That’s right. Just hormones. I can’t walk away because he’s pretty.’_

That answer didn’t seem enough.

“Hey, Edo, your brain still working?” Envy asked, waving a hand in front of Ed’s face.

Ed growled before stomping away.

Roy appeared suddenly, grinning and resting an arm on Envy’s shoulder. He made a dramatic sweeping motion before their vision, like he was tracing out a rainbow. “Young love…”

Envy shrugged Roy’s arm off. “Okay, so you’re not a complete failure and I won’t break your precious face. Happy?”

“Only when you admit how much of a genius I am.”

“Not bloody likely.”

“Soo, want me to talk to him? Tell the midget some of your few good traits?” Roy smirked, loving his all-powerful role as matchmaker.

“Few? Pony, you wound me!” Envy said, eyes flashing with mock hurt.

“Yeah yeah…” Roy dismissed, walking calmly after Ed. He slipped between students (Not as easily as Ed had), scanning for a glimpse of blonde. Seeing none, Roy headed into the boy’s toilets. Surely enough, there was Ed. His arms were rested on the shiny metal basin and glaring furiously at his reflection, like he was willing some destruction. Ed’s lips moved slightly and his glare intensified.

‘ _Do I say something or let him continue acting insane?’_ Roy wondered. He stepped forward.

Ed jumped, whirling around to face the new-comer, eyes wide. “NotdoinganythingokaysoshutupIamnotinsane!”

Roy blinked in surprise. Ed blushed lightly.

“Oh, it’s you.”

“You sound so enthusiastic,” Roy stated sarcastically.

“Cut the crap. What do you want?” Ed growled.

“Nothing, Ed. This is pure coincidence.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Right.”

Ed glared suspiciously. “You put Envy up to that, didn’t you?”

“Maybe. Why do you care so much?” Roy asked coolly.

“Because he’s a person, not something you can use as a publicity stunt!” Ed cried furiously.

“I never recall openly taking responsibility. I might have… inspired him, but that’s it.”

“How can you let him degrade himself?” Ed hissed venomously.

“Why are you so concerned about Envy?” Roy asked, smirking and raising an eyebrow.

Ed winced slightly. “Uh… because he’s my brother’s boyfriend’s brother! Yeah!” he lied, nodding manically.

“Sounds like a poor excuse to me.”

“It’s not an excuse, it’s a fact!”

“That would be mildly believable if you hadn’t been flirting with Envy all year,” Roy pointed out.

“Flirting? Who’s flirting? I wasn’t flirting, he was hitting on me and I was dating Sasuke!” Ed cried, heavily stressed.

“Envy has been ranting for weeks about that prank, don’t you start,” Roy groaned.

Ed’s head lifted, eyes widening. “He was jealous?”

“Extremely, but you didn’t hear that from me – I’d rather _not_ die.”

Ed grinned, pieces falling together. “So, that trick made him so jealous – even though he _knew_ – that he dressed up like a bopper whore to get my attention?”

“More or less. Now what are you gonna do?”

Ed smirked, chuckling evilly. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes, I would.”

“…well, I’m not telling!”

 

Envy was confused. Before, Ed had been a compilation of touchy emotions. Now, he was acting… well, he was smirking. Very, very sadistically. It wasn’t the kind of smirk you could ignore, either. Behind that smirk was a mind of pure evil, working to churn out some scheme to make some poor, unfortunate bastard suffer. Envy had a feeling he was said poor, unfortunate bastard.

What Envy found stranger was Sasuke, who walked into home-room late with his “stalker” and said one word to Ed. One very short, barely-two-syllable word. In Japanese. Damn foreigners and their languages which Ed conveniently understands… Envy spent several silent minutes forcing that word into his mind to look up during ICT.

But now it was time for Wellness, the compilation of sport and well-being. Two hours of being yelled at by their drunkard, half-asses AT teacher to run faster or to smack each other with golf clubs. Something different happened as they trudged up to the oval. They were immediately redirected to the classrooms. Envy grinned. A perfect chance…

Once they were all seated, Ms. Linton slammed her fists onto the nearest tabled (causing several girls to screech), took out a white-board marker and work in large, rough letters…

**_SEX_ **

“Right now, yell out what comes to mind,” Linton ordered.

Everyone remained silent, either still embarrassed by the subject or picturing the process in their mind with a glazed look. Judging by the representative of their school, the later was the way to behave.

“Edo,” Envy announced, smirking.

“What! You perverted freak!” Ed cried, blushing.

**_Edo_ **

**_Perverted Freaks_ **

‘ _And the score? Envy; three. Ed; two,’_ Envy tallied, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Like, uh… sex!” Lucy announced, feeling ingenious.

No-one laughed. No-one said anything. Lucy was ignored.

The silence was soon replaced with a barrage of yells, each one announcing another detail related to sex.

“Know what’s not on here?” Linton said, tutting disapprovingly. She then wrote four letters in a blank area.

**_LOVE_ **

“Hey! I said that!” Winry protested.

“Shut up, spock!”

“She did, though. You just wanna sound smart,” Ed said loudly, feeling the need to stick up for his former best friend… until she looked back at him with wide, sparkling eyes.

“Shut up, shrimpy spock!”

“WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-A-SHRIMP-SO-SMALL-HE-GETS-CRUSHED-BY-AN-ENCYLOPEDIA?”

“Watch the DVD, I’m gettin’ some damn booze,” Linton muttered, pressing play.

The class watched the start in silence, surprisingly obedient. Why? Because everyone secretly likes Sex Ed. That or they fear it.

Ten minutes into the video, boys were cringing and girls blushing, glancing away from the screen whilst not-so-subtly watching from the corner of their eyes.

“… _and as the body and mind develop, boys and girls see each other in a different way. Attraction between man and woman soon follows…”_

“THAT’S A LIE!” Envy shouted, pointing furiously at the screen. “What about gays, huh? Damn close-minded tape! I should go kill ‘em!”

Ed sighed, pulling Envy back into his seat.

“Shut up, okay?” Ed suggested.

“No! That’s saying being gay is unnatural which it isn’t. Stuff like this is why Wrath –”

Envy was silenced by Ed’s fist. No, Ed didn’t punch Envy. Just shoved it in his mouth so he wouldn’t blurt out Wrath’s problem, his other arm around Envy’s neck. Neither knew that Ed could move that fast.

“Shhh! You wanna get him killed?” Ed hissed.

Luckily, all attention was drawn to the screen as a pair of growing breast appeared. The girls shrieked and the boys drooled. Aside from the wonderful, wonderful homos.

Ed pulled Envy down roughly. Feeling a tongue brush over his knuckles, Ed quickly pulled his fist from Envy’s mouth. Envy smirked.

“If you want me in your lap, why not just say so?”

Ed suddenly became aware of their positioning and jumped. Sadly, this had no effect.

“I’ll stay like this. For this one time, at least – remember, I’m on top,” Envy whispered. Ed shivered.

Maybe he wasn’t handling this very well…

 

At the start of recess, Ed was surprised to see Winry standing by herself, head bowed dully. Ed immediately headed towards her – even if she was obsessed, even if she wasn’t the Winry who had been Ed’s best friend, she was still Winry.

“Hey, Win, what’s up?” Ed asked.

Winry looked up, tears in her eyes. She brushed them away, smiling. “Nothing, Ed. Nothing at all.”

“Yeah, riiight… just tell me, okay?”

Winry sighed heavily. “Okay, Ed, this might be a surprise to you… and I know you’re with… S-S-Sasuke…”

“Oh, I’m not with Sasuke anymore,” Ed announced matter-of-factly. “We’re just friends now.”

Winry’s eyes lit up with joy. “Really?”

“Hmm-hmm.”

Winry hugged him tightly. “Ed, I love you!”

“…Winry…”

Winry pulled back, frowning with confusion. Why did Ed sound so… forbidding?

“You do realise I’m gay, right?”

Winry’s jaw dropped in shock. “N-n-n-no…”

“Well, I am. But, hey, at least it’s not you, it’s me,” Ed replied, smiling cheekily. “You deserve someone better than me, anyway.”

“No-one’s better than you!” Winry cried, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“It’s not like I’m saying I hate you… you know, I’ve still got that arm and leg you made me. And they still fit,” Ed replied, trying to cheer her up.

“R-r-r-really?”

“Yup. A bit tight, but nothing the genius engineer can’t fix,” Ed added playfully, hoping his sucking up was working.

“You should show me it… so I can fix it. We’ll be best friends again, like old times,” Winry said, tears drying.

Ed nodded, relieved to hear it. He inclined his head, signalling for Winry to follow him. She obeyed, suddenly feeling like the world was a lot brighter.

“So, who do you have a crush on?” Winry asked.

“Uh… no-one.”

“C’mon, it’s high school, everyone has a crush. Tell me, I won’t laugh,” Winry chirped.

“You’ll be freaked out.”

“…it’s not Alphonse, is it?” Winry asked, wincing.

“No! That’s sick!” Ed cried, making a face.

“Well then, I won’t be freaked out.”

“What if it’s a six-year-old?”

“…then I would.”

Ed pondered. “Well, he does act like one…”

“You have a crush on Envy?” Winry cried.

“…no.”

“You’re blushing!”

“Am not!”

Winry laughed, spinning around for no apparent reason. “Don’t deny it, don’t deny it…”

“Who’s in denial, huh?”

“You!”

“Is that suggesting I’m short in anyway?” Ed snarled.

“No, but you are, bean-boy.”

“BEAN-BOY?”

Winry laughed, before making a serious face. “You should tell him, Ed.”

“And let him win? No way!”

“Why not? He obviously likes you…” Winry sighed. “Be happy, Ed. At least try.”

Ed huffed. _‘This from a girl who was crying ten minutes ago…’_

 

Stretching, Ed threw his bag onto the coach. How much more drama could be packed into one day? And what was that beeping? Listening closely, Ed traced the sound to… the answering machine! Ed was amazed and suspicious – who knew their home phone number? He pressed the play button.

“ _You have one new message. Message one,”_ the mechanical voice stated.

Hearing the voice change, Ed’s eyes widened in horror.

“ _Hello, my sons.”_

Ed winced, hoping this wasn’t what he though. If there really was a God, he wouldn’t let this happen…

“ _I’m wondering how you are doing.”_

It was looking grim.

“ _I will be coming to visit in three days.”_

Ed let out a frustrated scream, throwing the machine to the ground. He stomped on it several times, yelling some nonsensical hatred.

“FUCK YOU! I KNEW YOU DIDN’T EXIST, YOU BASTARD GOD!”

Ed fell to his knees, panting heavily and shaking with rage.


	13. Murderer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> envy jokes about incest and watches donnie darko while edo hates god for not existing or something idk

Still fuming the next morning, Ed violently forced his way around, a furious storm that struck anyone stupid enough to approach. Luckily, one does not need a high amount of empathy to know when Edward Elric is supremely pissed off. The murderous intent was suffocating.

Sadly, not everyone respected the violent storm’s hate.

“Edo!” Envy called, wrapping an arm around the fuming blonde.

“Don’t touch me,” Ed hissed poisonously.

Envy was taken back by the harsh tone. Ed did speak coolly, bitterly and angrily to him, snapping and lashing out, but never with such heavy ferocity, never so heated that all other emotions were burnt to crisps. Where was the enigma? The heavy layers of contradiction and confusion that Envy found so intriguing were gone. If this was Ed under all the layers and lies…

“Why so bitchy, Edo?” Envy asked, icier than usual.

“Why would you care, Envy?” Ed spat, trying to shove the arms off. Envy dug his fingers into Ed’s shoulder, refusing to sacrifice his hold. Ed winced slightly, glaring straight into Envy’s eyes. “Let. Me. Go!”

Envy’s lips were pursed together in a thin line of rage, sending naught but loathing towards golden hazes of hate. “No.”

The cold defiance was more irritating than any short jibe. Ed ground his teeth, grabbing Envy’s wrist roughly, thumb curled strongly around the curve. He twisted mercilessly. Hissing, Envy rebelled the attack with a roll of his trapped wrist, hand drawing back into a ready fist. It wasn’t until he saw Ed’s twisted grin that he realised the blonde’s original intentions.

“Damn shrimp…” Envy muttered.

“I-AM-NOT-A-SHRIMP-YOU-ANNOYING-BASTARD-GO-SHOOT-YOURSELF-YOU-IRRITATING-PIECE-OF-CRAP!” Ed yelled. It lacked his usual, childish anger. Everything about Ed had gone from confusing to severe and, worse; it sounded like he meant every word.

“When you’re done PMSing,” Envy replied nonchalantly, acting off the sudden tweak of pain, “I thought you might need some fucking sense beaten into you.”

“Stay the hell away from me,” Ed spat, storming off.

Envy groaned, slumping against the wall. “Smooth…”

 

Something was off in Al. His smile was too wide, his eyes dull. Wrath tried to ignore it, but couldn’t stand seeing his boyfriend so unsettled for even five minutes. Al was the reason he allowed his scars to fade, the reason he tried so hard to forgive, forget and live. All of Wrath’s efforts were meaningless without Al’s smile.

“Al, what’s wrong?”

Al’s eyes widened slightly as he shook his head. “It’s nothing, really!”

“Al…” Wrath pleaded, pouting cutely.

Al sighed. “My father’s coming to visit.”

Wrath immediately knew this was a very bad thing.

“Ed broke the answering machine when he found out,” Al added, laughing dryly.

Of course, Wrath had no trouble imagining that temper-tantrum. He stepped closer to Al, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Al leant back into the embrace.

“Hohenheim blames me… he says it’s my fault Mum died,” Al whispered weakly.

Wrath felt horror and rage drown out all other emotions. His sweet, kind boyfriend being blame for his mother’s death? That was inhumane. No child should live their life believing such a thing.

“That’s why we hate him…” Al concluded, dropping his head to Wrath’s shoulder.

“You have every right to. I would,” Wrath replied. He smiled slightly, pulling away from the hug. “Hey, you can stay with us anytime. You and Ed, Envy’d have no complaints.”

Al smiled, glad for Wrath’s kindness.

 

Finally, it was last period. Checking her watch, Winry found there to be twenty-minutes of the maths class remaining. She had already finished all the problems, and their teacher was “sleeping” on his desk. The lanky man’s snores were too loud and obnoxious to be anything but fake and that was if you didn’t notice his eyes were half-open. Their maths teacher loved detentions.

Beside her, Ed was producing a murderous aura, griping his pencil so tightly it was a miracle it hadn’t broken. He had cycled through rage, sorrow and guilt the entire day. There was surely a reason, but whenever Winry asked, Ed spoke too many words too fast. Ed had always been prone to emotional over-loads; he tried to take on the world alone, becoming extremely irritable. Then he would do something stupid – judging by his current behaviour, he already had.

Subtly glancing around the classroom, Winry noticed Envy’s absence. No-one knew how he managed to get into top-level maths. Everyone assumed his rich parents had bought any of Envy’s success, but Winry doubted this theory. Hadn’t Envy failed last year? The “kid who has it all” label was clearly a mistake. Ed wouldn’t fall for some spoilt pretty-boy. Even so, she didn’t really think Envy was Ed’s type. He must have seen a different side to Envy…

‘ _I haven’t seen or heard of Envy skipping any class this year…’_ Winry realised. _‘I should tell Ed.’_

Fifteen minutes left.

‘ _Now, how to get it through Ed’s head that Envy’s obsessed with him… dammit, it’s so obvious, why don’t either of them do anything about it?’_ Winry wondered, frowning irritably. This was a lot more complicated than she originally thought. Was Ed ashamed? No, he had bluntly stated his sexuality. It was simple. Ed was in denial, again.

Seven minutes left.

Although, maybe there was a slight change that Ed wasn’t in deep “like” with Envy. There was no way that relationship could ever last, or hit the level of love. Still, maybe if Ed had a bad experience with one guy…

Winry felt like slapping herself. Yes, she did love Ed, but she was also his best friend. Here she was, plotting to make a move the second Ed was heartbroken… what the hell kind of person was she?

The idea still was appealing. Guilt and shame washed over Winry, preparing itself to burst out of her in tears… until a screwed up ball of paper landed in front of her. Curious, Winry unscrewed the note, finding an e-mail address written in elegant script.

“ _If you want to help Ed, add me.”_

Frowning, Winry wondered who could have written this. Surely no student at a public school could write in such a beautiful style? This person must be a diamond amongst pebbles. Nonetheless, she did want to help Ed. She wanted to see his smile again, even if she couldn’t cause it…

 

It was the day they had been dreading. Easter Saturday – the day Hohenheim arrived. If he was planning to spend the entire Easter break with them… Ed gritted his teeth at the thought. Al sat on the coach, hands clenched tightly, almost like a silent prayer.

“Al,” Ed stated sternly. “He’s a complete and utter bastard. Ignore anything he says to you, and we should both announce being gay in the first five minutes.”

Al’s expression was torn between dread, annoyance and amusement. He nodded, agreeing with the idea. “Wrath did say we can go over there any time we want.”

Ed’s evil grin slipped, returning to a scowl. He tore his eyes away from his brother, sulking silently. Al frowned in confusion. Hadn’t Ed said he was developing a crush on Envy? Even before that, they had been friends all year.

“Brother, did you have a fight with Envy?” Al sighed.

“No! I just told him what I think of him!”

“…so, he rejected you?”

Ed’s head whipped around, a furious glare in his eyes. “No! I don’t love him! I don’t even like him and you’re delusional if you think I do!”

“You’re blushing, Ed.”

“So what if I’m gay, I don’t like Envy!” Ed shouted – just as the doorbell rang.

The brothers glanced at the door sheepishly.

“So much for the blunt confession…” Ed groaned. He got up, opening the door. “So nice to see you, old bastard,” he greeted sarcastically. He turned away, walking back to Al’s side. His little brother was considerably paler.

The tall man straightened, glancing down at his sons coolly. He hadn’t aged since their last meeting in December, his hair still long and blonde, eyes still a frigid gold. The scientist was known as “Hohenheim of Light”, but Ed never found anything bright or warm about his father – especially when Al was present.

“Hello, Edward… Alphonse,” Hohenheim acknowledged, significantly colder with the younger’s name.

“Father,” Al greeted, nodding stiffly.

“How long are you gonna be here?” Ed asked icily.

Hohenheim looked slightly taken back. “There’s no need to be so rude, Edward.”

“Like hell there isn’t!” Ed snapped furiously. “You treat us like dirt – especially Al! The only reason you even support us is because the court ruled it!”

“Brother…” Al started. He didn’t have anything else to say.

Ed’s furious hate glared into Hohenheim’s cold nonchalance. Silence remained as they glared, Al merely hoping his brother wouldn’t do anything too stupid. Ed suddenly gave a “hmph” and turned to face Al, a sadistic smirk crossing his face. “C’mon Al, let’s go to your boyfriend’s.”

Blushing slightly, Al nodded, following his brother past their father and onto the street.

“So, can we go?” Al asked hopefully, eyes bright.

Ed sighed, nodding reluctantly. Anything – or one – that made Al that happy so suddenly had to be worth it.

“What exactly did you say to Envy?” Al asked, determined.

“Doesn’t matter, I fucked it up.”

“Ed…”

“I told him to stay the hell away from me, okay?” Ed snapped, picking up his pace. “I was yelling at him and all he said was hello!”

“Well, you regret it, right?”

“Of course I do…”

“Just say you’re sorry, brother, it’s not that hard,” Al sighed.

Ed shook his head. “The whole thing proved to me we’d just destroy each other. It’ll never work.”

Al frowned. Since when was his stubborn, determined-to-the-point-of-stupidity brother so dull and defeated? Once Ed realised his goals, normally there was no hope for stopping him. His brother was far from a coward – what the hell was going on?

“It’s like there’s a huge gap separating us… a valley… no way am I crazy enough to try and jump a valley,” Ed added thoughtfully.

“What if Envy jumps too? What if you meet half-way… and just fall together?” Al asked quietly.

The idea was appealing… but completely illogical. “Neither of us are that sweet.”

“Can’t you ever have some hope, brother?” Al sighed, slumping.

“I do… that’s why I’m not dead,” Ed muttered darkly.

“…was that the equivalent of “I can’t live without Envy”?” Al asked slyly.

Ed blushed furiously. “No way, you’re reading too far into things!”

“Sure, brother.”

Scowling, Ed stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Let’s move faster, Al.”

Nodding, Al eagerly picked up his pace.

 

“ _Well, Gerald, I think you’re afraid.”_ **(1)**

The doorbell rang.

“Get that Wrath,” Envy ordered, eyes fixed upon the screen.

“Get it, Greed,” Wrath passed on.

“Envy, you get it,” Greed said, smirking.

“Nuh-uh, next part’s awesome,” Envy said emotionlessly. “’Sides, it’s probably Wrath’s boyfriend.”

Wrath immediately jumped up, heading to the door.

“Sneaky,” Greed snickered.

“… _sick of some jerk shoving your head in a toilet? Then go lift some weights… take a karate lesson… and when he tries to do it again, kick him in the balls.”_

Greed laughed with the on-screen crowd. Wrath came back into the room, escorting Alphonse… and _him_. Oh yes, Ed has officially been demoted to _him_.

“ _I think you are afraid to ask me for advice. I think that you are a very troubled… confused young man. I think you’re searching for answers in all the wrong places,”_ the blonde man on-screen said. It faded out to show the dark-haired teenager standing before a microphone, silent.

“… _I think you’re the fucking Anti-Christ,”_ he said coolly.

Envy grinned at the screen, completely ignoring the appearance of the Elrics. They were whispering with Wrath a few metres away – maybe total ignorance wasn’t the best idea…

“…complete bastard. Al should stay here until he leaves,” Ed murmured crossly.

“That’s not fair, brother. You hate him more than I do,” Al protested in a whisper.

“Well, I’m not gonna bash the crap out of the old man in front of you.”

“You really shouldn’t do that…”

“But he’s a bastard.”

“You say everyone is a bastard,” Al sighed. “Even the person you _love_.”

“Shut up!”

‘ _So, the one Edo really loves is the one he calls “bastard”. Who’s that…’_ Envy wondered. Screw being nonchalant, screw not caring – he did. Far too much. _‘It’s been universally recognised that Roy’s a bastard.’_

Envy couldn’t hide his expression of horror.

“Envy, it’s not a horror movie,” Greed taunted.

“Actually, it is. Horror, romance, humour, sci-fi, what-the-hell-is-going-on,” Envy defended. “Mostly the last one.”

Greed raised his eyebrows, grinning carnivorously. “Sure that’s what you’re thinking about?”

By now, Ed, Al and Wrath had halted their own discussion and were listening curiously.

“Oh, just a sudden incestuous thought about your uber sexiness,” Envy replied theatrically, a light smirk playing on his lips.

Greed shuddered. “Sick, sick weirdo…”

Envy sniggered. “Oh, but my wonderful brother, my love for you is deep and sinful… it suits our names!”

“Cut that out.”

“But Greeeeeeeeeeeeed…”

“You’re gross, Envy,” Wrath announced.

“I try.”

For a second, Envy’s eyes met Ed’s. Confused by the barrage of emotions embedded in gold, Envy had turned away without a word.

Ed sighed quietly, disappointed.

 

 **(1)** _Donnie Darko_.


	14. Bunny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> edo dresses up as a bunny

_Bitter-Sweet-Junkie says: So you’re finally online!_

_Mystery101 says: Indeed_

_Bitter-Sweet-Junkie says: Why don’t you say who you are?_

_Mystery101 says: In case you get tortured._

_Bitter-Sweet-Junkie says: Uh… by Ed?_

_Mystery101 says: I hear he can be quiet deadly._

_Bitter-Sweet-Junkie says: That’s true…_

_Bitter-Sweet-Junkie says: So, how can we help him?_

_Mystery101 says: Simple. We hook him up with Envy._

_Bitter-Sweet-Junkie says: I’m not so sure if that’s a good idea._

_Bitter-Sweet-Junkie says: They’re so different, there’s no way it’d work._

_Bitter-Sweet-Junkie says: I don’t want Ed to get hurt._

_Mystery101 says: You’re wrong. It’ll work._

_Bitter-Sweet-Junkie says: How?_

_Mystery101 says: Because they both need it._

_Mystery101 says: It will take a lot of work to get them together – can you manage?_

_Mystery101 says: …Winry?_

_Bitter-Sweet-Junkie says: Yes, I can and will._

_Mystery101 says: Good. I have a plan…_

Ed and Al had developed a system. They figured that since it was Easter break, they had every right to avoid home.

“We’re healthy teenagers, why would we want to stay home during days off?” Al summarised. Ed disagreed, but went along with it anyway.

They would spend their days in the city, at various people’s houses and, when all else failed, simply building their brotherly bond. They did, however, come home at night, endured a maximum of one hour of Hohenheim before “hiding” in their bedrooms. It was a good system; it contained the typical expectations of a teenager. Hohenheim was surprisingly compliant about the whole situation. They heard no complaints, scolding or bitterness. Their father seemed to have descended into nonchalance so thick nothing could irk him. In fact, the man barely spoke, not that Ed minded. The silence was simply unnerving. Ed’s only real problem with the system was, predictably, Envy. The boy everyone else seemed to think he loved had spared him no words, no glances, not even a glare. It left Ed confused and highly concerned. Was Envy sick? Hadn’t Envy been the one to constantly bask him, Ed, in attention from the moment their eyes met? If whatever they shared had died so easily Ed was glad it hadn’t done too much damage. Wounds heal. Scars eventually fade. But a scab can easily be turned into either, and Envy was Ed’s scab. Picking at a scab turns it back into a wound, stopping it from healing. Ignoring it, it becomes a faint scar, barely noticable. Ed was staring straight at it, debating which way to turn. Both would lead to pain but one had to be better than the other. That’s how the world works.

Sighing heavily, Ed laced up his combat boots. Today he was going to Winry’s, on her own request. For some reason, Al didn’t want to. Ed’s brother had a date. Double-checking the time, Ed silently slipped from the house.

The early morning air was fresh and smooth. Ed sighed, enjoying the breeze, his irritation and confusion forgotten. When the world was so quiet and peaceful, he couldn’t help but be swayed by its power.

Winry answered the door full of bubbly glee, yanking a stunned Ed through the house and into her bedroom. Winry had two desks, one a long work-bench-style, oil-and-metal covered brown and the other a clean white, a computer sitting atop. The soft hum of the fan continued despite the blank screen.

“Winry, what’s goin’ on?” Ed asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Ed could’ve sworn he saw sparkles dancing around his friend’s head as she clasped her hands in front of her chest, grinning with all her energetic glee.

“I’m throwing an Easter Party!” Winry announced.

“Win, Easter was five days ago. Plus, I’m not a Christian so why would I care?” Ed sighed harshly, bitterness accompanying the religion’s name.

Winry scowled. The wrench seemed to fly into her hand and before Ed could even begin to duck, he was clobbered up-side the head. Holding his abused head, Ed glared up at the still-fuming blonde.

“What the hell is your problem?” Ed snapped.

“You’re such a kill-joy, Ed!” Winry cried, tears forming.

‘ _Oh shit, not again…’_ Ed groaned inwardly. “C’mon Winry, don’t cry. I’ll help with your party.”

“In anyway I want?” Winry asked with her head still bowed. Her voice was still layered with hurt.

“Yeah, sure…”

Winry’s head sprung up, an oddly victorious grin spreading.

‘ _What have I gotten myself into?’_ Ed wondered, dreading the worst.

What happened was even worse – for him, at least.

 

Al had simple tasks assigned to him by Winry. Avoiding Ed for the day and getting a certain person to the party. Task one was easily solved by his excuse of a date. Task two involved something Al rather enjoyed – paying a visit to Wrath’s home.

The door was answer by Envy, who appeared supremely pissed off. He beckoned Al into the house, slammed the door shut and stomped off. Task two was looking grim.

Al found Wrath sitting on the pool’s edge, pant legs rolled up to his knees and legs lazily kicking in the chlorinated water. Silently rolling up his own pant legs, Al joined him, leaning his head on Wrath’s shoulder.

“Brother’s been upset lately,” Al murmured. “Also… Envy is –”

“Envy is pure evil,” Wrath said coolly.

Al blinked several times. “Yes… probably. But that doesn’t matter. I’m certain brother loves him, and even if he’s pure evil, I want to see Ed happy.”

Wrath froze, thinking his boyfriend’s words over. It made sense. The Elric brothers had a stronger bond than Envy and he. True, they had gotten closer since Wrath’s suicide attempt, but that was a given. Envy was currently being a sour, moody typhoon that destroyed and lashed at anything. Envy’s temper was pure evil. Envy’s view of revenge was pure evil. Envy’s hate was pure evil. Envy as a whole, however, was not. Wrath didn’t know Ed too well, but something about the short blonde must be truly captivating to sustain Envy’s attention for this long.

“You’re right. We have to get them together, for their sake.”

“There’s a party tonight. All we have to do is get him there,” Al said, smiling.

“Easier said than done,” Wrath sighed, hearing china breaking.

 

Several hours later, Envy found himself being dragged half-way across the city by Greed, Wrath and Alphonse, glaring at each murderously. He did not want to be here. He did not want to see Ed, not now he knew the blonde’s attachment to Roy. Before now, Envy hadn’t felt the loathing and murderous desire when he considered his friend. Now, Envy was certain he would rip Roy’s head off if he even laid a finger-nail on Ed. Was he jealous? Of course he wasn’t.

“Don’t be such a brat, Envy,” Greed ordered from the driver’s seat.

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are. You normally bug me for some booze just to irritate people…”

“You’d better not get my brother drunk and take advantage of him, Envy,” Al warned coolly.

Envy rolled his eyes, not even bothering to reply. He told himself that Ed wasn’t even worth that trouble.

The Victorian style house, painted yellow and white, had a large backyard from what Envy could gather. The thud of music could be heard from within, the faint glow of a red light from behind drawn curtains. Laughter and cheering could be heard as they climbed from the car onto the dark street. Envy scowled, hanging behind his brothers and Alphonse. He didn’t want to be here. Ed was going to be here.

Envy followed up the steps, past the veranda and to the front door, waiting with crossed arms as Alphonse knocked. The door opened seconds later and Al was promptly hugged by a cheerful, rather bare Winry Rockbell. Wrath frowned slightly but took no action. With an uneasy laugh, Winry was forced off.

“C’mon in, now you’re here I’ll get it ready,” Winry giggled, opening the door widely. “Granny’s out of town, thankfully…”

“Where’s brother?” Al asked, smiling.

Winry laughed, ushering them inside. She dashed off upstairs, leaving Al’s question unanswered.

‘ _Is the slut raping Edo?’_ Envy wondered, slightly distressed. He reminded himself that he does _not_ care.

Envy was dragged into the large living room by Greed, finding a room full of dancing drunks and the orange-haired Breda stripping. Envy’s lip curled in disgust. He had allowed himself to be dragged all the way out here, and Ed wasn’t even present! Were he religious, Envy would curse and plot to slaughter God.

“He’ll turn up,” Al said softly before joining the crowd.

“Humph. Stupid shrimp…”

Sadly, no short rants reached Envy’s ears.

Somehow, Envy stood there waiting for three songs. The songs were the only way he could judge time – this damn house lacked clocks. More importantly was the fact that Envy was waiting and even he didn’t know how, why or what for.

Everything he had pondered over for the past few days was answered within two minutes.

Winry came into the room, smiling broadly. She hit a button and the music died. People whirled around, complaints dying at the sight of the hostess.

“Okay, everyone, it’s time for a visit from the Easter Bunny,” Winry announced giddily.

The guests exchanged negative glances and mutterings until the bunny stepped into view. Jaws dropped all around.

He was wearing brown, fake-fur boots resembling a rabbit’s foot reaching up to the knees, matching shorts (or short-shorts) and a heavily cropped top that would fit the term “furry boob-tube” if his questionable gender didn’t interfere. Paw-like gloves covered his upper-arms, one holding a basket loaded with chocolate eggs. Completing the outfit was the bunny-eared headband holding back long, blonde hair. In that one second, seeing the determination defeating embarrassment, Envy realised he was in love with Edward Elric.

“Say hello to Bunny Ed!” Winry announced, glancing around the room with a grin. Her eyes met Envy’s for several seconds before laughter and cheers broke out.

“Go Ed!”

“C’mon and give me some chocolate, Bunny Boy!”

Ed rolled his eyes slightly, stepping forward.

“HOP!”

“Hell _no_!” Ed cried. He threw eggs at several people. “Now shut up and eat your damn chocolate!”

Ed even had a cotton-bud tail, white so as to stand out from the brown.

“He’s a really cute kid, Envy,” Greed observed, marking is random appearance. “You gonna let him go?”

Envy didn’t reply. He had made passes at Ed before; he had hinted and flirted mercilessly, making it clear to all he felt some form of affection for the blonde. However, Ed had never made any obvious hints, had he? Hadn’t Alphonse said Ed loves a bastard? But Roy wasn’t even here and Ed was dressing up, clearly trying to grasp someone’s attention.

“… _now you’re here I’ll get it ready.”_

Winry has said that, and three songs later she re-emerged with Ed dressed like that. Ed wanted to prove something; that was clear. Who to? Surely not Wrath or Greed, one was his brother’s boyfriend and the other he barely knew. By elimination, it could only be himself. Ed’s constant mood-swings, his horror at the cheer-leading incident… all could be compiled as a strange, enigmatic love. It was possible. There was a high chance that this wasn’t a crush for either of them.

“No more games,” Envy muttered coolly. He spotted Ed talking animatedly with Al and Wrath. With no hesitation, Envy walked up to him. Thankfully, the blonde’s back was turned. Envy grabbed a hand in mid-gesture, pulling Ed from the crowded room with a dead-serious face.

It was dark and cold outside, but quieter than the party within the house. Ed sighed, sinking down to sit on the limestone steps.

“Any particular reason why you’ve dragged me from a party – which was warm – to outside, where it’s cold?” Ed questioned coolly.

“Yes.”

“So, what is it?”

Envy hesitated. He was afraid, honestly and completely afraid. If Ed rejected him, it was bound to be painful. Pain is never good.

“Envy?” Ed asked, voice defrosted by concern.

Envy sunk down beside Ed. “That’s a girl’s costume, you know…”

Ed twitched slightly. “The entire point of this is telling me _that_?”

“No.”

“Then hurry up and tell me what it is!”

Envy glanced up at the stars. He wasn’t good with his real emotions.

“I’ll go,” Ed warned, making no attempt or gesture to do so.

Envy shook his head. “Screw this.”

Glancing back at Ed’s bowed head Envy could’ve sworn he saw pain through the night’s shadow. Pulling Ed closer, he tilted the tanned face upward, brushing long bangs aside. A million emotions filled golden eyes, all inexplicably similar. Smiling slightly, Envy laid his lips upon Ed’s.


	15. Stormy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i think there's a line about envy's eyes being as 'grey as the stormy sea' jesus h. christ end me

Pale arms wound around his waist, his own thrown around the other’s neck under the fountains of tinted green. Their tongues danced a rough tango, neither ready nor willing to withdraw. The necessity of oxygen became too great, hence them both pulling apart. Panting lightly, Ed rested his head against Envy’s chest.

“Edo…”

Ed glanced up slightly, finding his curious gaze halted by Envy’s soft, loving eyes.

“I’ll always love you.”

Ed blushed lightly, opening his mouth to return the words…

“Brother! Stop spacing out on me!”

Ed’s eyes snapped open, his eyes meeting his little brother’s irritated glare. He had just been caught daydreaming about Envy – again.

“Brother, what happened last night?”

“Nothing, Al! Nothing at all!” Ed announced, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.

“When I said it was nothing, it led to my boyfriend’s attempted suicide,” Al said coolly.

That was an unfair guilt-trip attack, and Ed hoped Al knew it.

“It’s nothing too important or big Al, I just didn’t sleep much last night and I need to go kill Winry for making me wear that costume so I’m gonna go now,” Ed ranted, stepping backwards.

“Don’t you wanna come to Wrath’s with me?” Al asked pleadingly.

“No! No way! Nuh-uh, why the hell would I want to?”

“…did Envy touch you?”

Ed slumped, sighing heavily. “Am I that easy to read?”

“To everyone else, you’d just seem like a freak,” Al replied.

“…thanks, little bro.”

“What did Envy do?”

“You answered that yourself, didn’t you? He touched me.”

“In a place or way that made you feel uncomfortable or turned you into a stuttering Bunny Boy?”

Ed scowled heavily. “I’m not a fucking Bunny Boy!”

“So you _did_ like it!”

“Dammit Al, stop messing with my head!” Ed cried.

“I’m not, I’m figuring out what happened to you,” Al replied innocently.

“We kissed, okay?” Ed snapped.

Al cheered. “Brother’s first kiss!”

“Are you mocking me, Alphonse?”

“No! I’m proud of you, brother! You’ve realised that you and Envy are in love.”

“In _love_? It was just a kiss, Al!”

“Did he use tongue, brother?”

“Who the fuck taught you about that?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Has Wrath been poisoning your mind?! Just how far _have_ you two _gone_?!”

“This isn’t about me, it’s about you!”

“Why are you blushing like that?”

“Because you’re prying into my love life.”

“Which is exactly what you’re doing to me!”

“But that’s different, brother. You’re an emotional retard.”

“Am not!”

“Then why’re you in denial about Envy?”

“I’m not in denial! There’s nothing to be in denial about! He’s nothing!”

“If you keep saying stuff like that, you’re just going to hurt everyone, Ed!”

“Why’s it matter? I don’t love him!”

“You don’t or you won’t? Brother, we both know you love each other, so don’t deny it. I just want to know why you won’t let yourself,” Al replied wearily.

Ed glanced away from worn grey eyes, swallowing heavily. This wasn’t something he wanted to confide in his younger brother. If he had a normal life, he and Al wouldn’t be close enough for either to even know the other’s preferences. He wouldn’t be shamelessly avoiding his hated father, he wouldn’t mourn his mother and he wouldn’t be hopelessly in love with such a flamboyant person. If Ed’s life had been normal, he would be dating Winry or some normal, average girl. Envy was anything but normal. Surely after such an abnormal childhood, Ed would want and need his adult and teen years as normal as possible. Yes. That’s why he couldn’t be in love with Envy. Al would hate him if he responded with such ridiculous and selfish reasons.

“I’ll see ya later, Al.”

Al watched in defeat as his brother stuffed his hands in his pockets, walking from the dining room and out of the small house. He sighed heavily, slumping back in his chair.

“Brother…”

The sound of a door closing snapped Al’s musing. Eyes wide, he glanced up into his father’s cold eyes.

“I seem to have a habit of over-hearing you boys arguing over this Envy person.”

Al nodded, afraid despite Hohenheim’s weak attempt at ice breaking. One sentence can’t shatter thirteen years of ice but merely chip it.

“B-brother won’t admit how much he cares about Envy,” Al replied hesitantly.

“Perhaps there’s nothing.”

Al shook his head. “Ed doesn’t get this worked up over nothing. Envy can even get away with mentioning brother’s height. I want to help… but brother’s brother.”

Hohenheim replied by dropping a yellow, A4-sized envelope in front of Al. “Nothing’s your fault.”

“Father…” Al breathed as Hohenheim walked away, leaving the lingering scent of perfume.

 

Slowly, Ed baby-stepped across the suburb’s main road, not even noticing the black, oil-stained path his feet followed. Sighing heavily, he reminded himself to listen for the soft screeches of tyres, but it all seemed too much effort. He didn’t want to have to deal with Winry’s cheerful teasing, Al’s logical questioning… why were they pushing so hard? Was it hard to accept that he wasn’t ready? Everything was happening too fast. This year, Al had fallen in love, discovered his sexuality, had his boyfriend attempt suicide which affected Ed’s crush, Ed had pretended to be dating the exchange student to make said crush jealous and dressed up as a rabbit. It seemed all he had gained was a fetish for cheerleaders and a chaste kiss. Didn’t he deserve more?

‘ _You don’t get more because you won’t let yourself. You masochist.’_

Did it make him masochistic? He was merely fighting emotions that would lead to future pain. It didn’t matter if other people got offended or frustrated; Ed didn’t want to go through another heart-break. No matter how painful this denial was, nothing could be as painful as getting attached and loosing him.

‘ _Excuse me, sadomasochist. You’re being pitifully dramatic. You love him, he loves you – that’s all you need!’_

Ed growled. What was that voice?

‘ _Your common sense. I’ve been on stress-leave.’_

Right. It was already happening. He was getting so stressed over this pitiful romance that he was starting to hallucinate. Voices completely contradicting your choices aren’t normal.

‘ _Denial isn’t healthy. How many times you been told that?’_

Scoffing, Ed started moving at a normal pace.

‘ _Honestly, you can be so stupid, sadomasochist. Don’t you get it? You’ve seen enough romance crap to know it’s better to try than ignore it. At least then you’ll feel happy, and have happy memories to remember IF it falls apart, which it WON’T because you’re in love.’_

Somehow, a voice’s harsh words made more sense than Al’s more tactful approach.

‘ _Yeah, sadoMASOCHIST. Get it?’_

And were a lot more frustrating. He wasn’t ready to confront Envy, he wasn’t ready to be loved, he wasn’t ready to…

‘ _Not ready? Are you even noticing where you’re going?’_

Blinking, Ed looked up. He was already in the centre of the city – the opposite direction to where Winry lived. The only person he knew that lived this way was…

“Envy…”

‘ _Congratulations! Keep walking another three or four k’s to get your prize!’_

“Too much effort.”

A sudden jolt of pain shot through Ed’s head. Cursing, Ed continued on his way, muttering about pushy voices.

‘ _So, your subconscious wants Envy bad, your conscious self wants Envy bad, you’re just being an over dramatic annoyance. Sooo, get over it and get down to –’_

Ed tried to tune out the voice. A red blush soon appeared. Anyone who has tried will know how hard it is to tune out the voices in your head.

‘… _and then he’ll whip it out and…’_

“Shut up!” Ed cried. Several old ladies quickened their pace fearfully. “I don’t wanna hear it any more, I’m going over there!”

Fuming, Ed broke into a run, snaking his way between buildings, pedestrians and trees. How long had passed and how far he’d gone were mysteries he wanted unsolved. All that mattered to him was getting to Envy.

‘ _That’s a big change of heart.’_

“I-it’s because I… I love him!” Ed announced between breaths.

‘ _Goodbye Denial! Finally, I hated that whiny son-of-a-bitch.’_

Panting heavily, Ed slumped in the long driveway, catching his breath. If he was going to talk to Envy, he’d need the ability to yell. He wasn’t going to back down now. He was here and dammit, he was going to see this through! Clenching his fists and eyes gleaming with determination, Ed walked up the front door.

Answering it was a red-eyed and yawning Greed. He glanced down at Ed, smirking slightly.

“Your brother not here too?” he questioned suspiciously. Ed noticed a curious accent but chose to ignore it. Greed was probably hung-over.

“Not yet,” Ed shrugged. He followed Greed inside. “Envy up yet?”

Greed snorted. “Damn lazy high schoolers… don’t know the meaning of work.”

“…so, he’s not?”

“He hasn’t emerged yet, at least. Down the hall – you’ll know which room when you pass it,” Greed replied, walking away muttering.

Surprised by the vague instructions, Ed walked down the hall-way, glancing at each thick wooden door closely. About half-way down, he realised what Greed meant. He couldn’t help but laugh, fingers tracing over the deeply engraved palm-tree covering the door. Then Ed remembered what he was about to do. Taking several deep breaths, Ed opened the door.

The room was dark. Trace amounts of light sneaked through the heavy curtains, the plain and surprisingly lax in colour walls appearing a shadowy blue. Envy’s room seemed crowded and messy with clothes, books and pencils littering the floor, desk covered with papers and a half-submerged monitor. Opposite the desk was Ed’s goal; the lump under the dark blankets, snoring lightly.

“He’s asleep?” Ed sighed. Glaring, he stepped over the piles and to the bed side. Ed softly placed his hand on Envy’s sleeping shoulders, brushing hair from his eyes, before shaking him violently.

“God DAMMIT, I’m awake!” Envy snapped suddenly, grabbing Ed’s arms harshly. His grip and rage immediately softened when their eyes met. Ed was amazed to find Envy’s natural eye colour was a grey blue, reminding him of a stormy sea…

“You never gave me time to respond last night,” Ed said coolly.

“Actually, I did, you were just too busy stuttering and blushing, so I figured Edo needed time to realise his undying love for me and –”

“You watch too much TV,” Ed sighed.

“This year’s like a soapie, don’t ya think?” Envy replied, grinning.

“I dunno, probably. Why would anyone watch that crap?” Ed wondered.

“Lust.”

“Ah.”

Ed glanced away, wondering exactly how he was going to say this. He never had been a fan of romance novels and movies, it all seemed so far-fetched and over-rated. He was more a scientist, someone who liked things pointed out exactly as they are. Emotions don’t do that. Perhaps he should just say exactly how he thought he felt about Envy?

“Hey, Envy… can you let go?” Ed asked vaguely.

Ed’s arm tingled under his jacket. He had forgotten Envy was holding him…

“…I don’t think that’s what I meant…”

“Then what did you mean?”

“…good question…”

Sighing, Ed sunk to his knees, resting his head on Envy’s bed. Envy shifted so his back against the wall and legs crossed under the covers, eyes fixed on Ed. Ed’s own eyes remained fixed on Envy’s.

“Why do you wear contacts?” Ed asked, silently wondering whether he preferred the stormy blue or shining amethyst.

“When your family’s so big, you’ve gotta be different.”

“I don’t think there’s anyone else in the world like you,” Ed replied, closing his eyes.

Chuckling, Envy reached forward, tangling his fingers in Ed’s loose bangs.

“Envy?” Ed started softly.

“Yeah, Edo?”

“I wanna try.”

“…try touching my hair?”

Ed groaned. “No! I’m saying I wanna date you!”

The bed creaked slightly as Envy leant forward, dropping a kiss to Ed’s forehead.

“It’s about time.”

“Shut up, it does take time to figure stuff out,” Ed replied, climbing onto the bed beside Envy. He rested his head on Envy’s shoulder. “Especially with that game…”

“Which I won.”

“No way, you kissed me!”

“You’re the one who just asked me out, meaning I won,” Envy replied playfully.

“No way! You made the first _real_ move!”

“…yeah… well… you’re short!”

“WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-SO-SHORT-HE’D-GET-CRUSHED-BY-YOU-KISSING-HIM?” Ed yelled, thrashing around wildly.

“Guess that means I’d better not,” Envy replied, smirking.

Glaring, Ed pulled Envy’s face towards him, slamming their lips together. “See? Not short! Bastard!”

“Love you too.”


	16. Mystery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> apparently sasuke and naruto are still in this fic, and there appear to be random chunks of emo.txt for no real reason except i'd typed them and didn't know what to do with them

Stretching out, Wrath could barely restrain a yawn. Kari observed him with raised eyebrows, playing with a small plushie of some pink-haired person with flamboyant clothes.

“Have you had trouble sleeping?” Kari asked coolly.

“Nah, not really. Adult Swim,” Wrath replied.

“Oh, I watched that! Did you see InuYasha?” Kari asked, full of bubbly energy again. “They’re playing the early episodes again, like when Inu is re-mastering Tetsuiaga…”

“Erm… I didn’t pay too much attention to the shows,” Wrath replied, blushing lightly. “Al came over, and for some reason, Ed did too.”

“Oh? A sleep-over with your boyfriend? Can I have a tape?”

“Kari!”

“Kidding!” Kari laughed. “So you’re suspicious about Edward?”

“Yeah, he didn’t even care when Al said we’d be sharing a bed! Just went “that’s nice, Al” and wandered off somewhere,” Wrath replied. “Normally he’d death-glare and start yelling horrible things he’ll do if I touch Al, Al’ll start calling him over-protective and it’d go on and on… but he didn’t!”

“Maybe Al’s won Ed's trust for you."

“…It’s Ed.”

“Well then, he’s probably confessed to Envy or something,” Kari replied.

“Envy’s lucky,” Wrath muttered sulkily.

“What makes you say so?” Kari asked, raising an eyebrow.

“If Ed really did confess to him, what’s he done to earn it? What’s he lost? All he did was dress-up as a cheerleader and been his usual bastard self,” Wrath replied bitterly. “You know, Al and I haven’t even said where we’re at. We just…drifted together.

“Also Envy’s some kinda invincible guy. He’s been out for years and hasn’t had as many issues with it as me. It’s like no-one cares he’s gay but it’s such a crime for me to love Al. Don’t people pick on him? Don’t they tell him he’s a freak, an abomination?” Wrath mused dully.

“It’s sad to think about, but humans can eventually get used to anything. Even being abused in such a way,” Kari replied with a sad sigh.

“That’s nice to know,” Wrath said, smiling.

“Is it? Just because you’re used to something doesn’t make it less painful, Wrath,” Kari replied darkly.

“I guess…” Wrath sighed.

“What else do you think about a lot?” Kari asked, munching some pocky.

“…Erm…this’ll sound weird…but… sometimes I think it’d be better if I was a girl,” Wrath replied, blushing heavily.

“Nah, no way. Periods suck and do you have any idea how uncomfortable under-wire bras are?” Kari replied shamelessly, deepening Wrath’s embarrassment.

“No, I’ve never worn one.”

“When’s school starting again?”

“Um… after the weekend.”

“Looking forward to it?”

Wrath squirmed slightly under Kari’s gaze. “Sure, seeing Al all day and –”

“They’re still picking on you, aren’t they?”

“I try not to think about it or care. But… it’s hard. Just because we’re both guys… I’m not allowed to love him? No-one stops them from being in love, what’s the difference? Love’s love,” Wrath replied in a breathy whisper.

Kari grinned down at the pink-haired plushie. “You sound like this guy – Shuichi Shindou. 'Just because he’s a guy and famous, it means I can’t love him?'” Kari replied. “There’s nothing wrong with being in love. Don’t let them tell you otherwise. They’re being ignorant, not you. But, who can blame them? Did you understand how Envy felt before?”

Wrath slowly shook his head. “You never can understand, can you?”

“Nope, not until you feel it yourself,” Kari agreed.

Wrath smiled, holding out a hand. “More pocky.”

Kari laughed.

 

Naruto yawned. It was the first day back at school after the holidays. He wasn’t looking forward to it. English was a strange, random language with too many rules. It was amazing that someone like Jiraiya could be fluent in something so complex. But, on the plus side, there was Sasuke.

Being infatuated with a boy, let alone Uchiha Sasuke, wasn’t easy to deal with. But a lot of people seemed to think Naruto was feminine. Where they got that idea from was a mystery to him. He didn’t have breasts, was taller than the average Japanese girl and those muscles weren’t just a gift! If they want feminine they should see that mind-reader from that shounen ai manga, the one Catholic boys hit on. **(1)** Remembering that scene, Naruto bit back a laugh, before suddenly dozing off.

The bus pulled up outside the school. Naruto snapped awake, rubbing his eyes. The bus was almost empty. His eyes fell on a forest green, scrappy notebook. Curiosity got the better of him; the notebook was snatched up quickly and thrown into his bag as he rushed off the bus.

The sight of a familiar, very unique hair-style caught his eyes. Grinning widely, Naruto brought cupped hands around his mouth.

“SASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

The immediate reaction was a heavy twitch, almost a spasm. Naruto sniggered.

“SASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Sasuke glared at him, storming over and grabbing his wrist and yanking the blonde away from the staring and possibly deafened crowd.

“ _Didya miss me, Sasuke?_ ” Naruto asked, laughing.

“ _Complete moron…_ ” Sasuke muttered.

“ _Bastard. I know you did, dattebayo!_ ”

“ _And you missed me,_ ” Sasuke countered, smirking.

“… _Sasuke’s gay for me!”_

Sasuke rolled his eyes as Naruto repeated himself victoriously, yelling at random students who stared blankly after the foreign words clinging to their minds like blinded bats. A slight smile spread across his lips.

“ _Shut up, you idiot!”_

“ _Nuh-uh, Sasuke-bastard loooves me, dattebayo. Should I start fishing you?”_

“… _I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. Total moron.”_

Naruto huffed. As they entered their home-room class, his pout was replaced with a cruel smirk.

“SASUKE, YOU’RE GAY FOR ME?” Naruto yelled as his eyes widened, shocked.

Gasps, murmurs and tears broke out across the room. Sasuke raised a fist, casually smacking Naruto around the head.

“ _Itai!”_

“ _Moron. I think that’s old news.”_

“ _Not the way they’re acting, dattebayo!”_

“… _They’re dumber than you.”_

“ _Eh? What does that mean, dattebaaayo?”_

Sasuke smirked. Point proven.

 

_He’s gorgeous. He’s like a god. I try to find flaws to throw my interest away from him, and dammit, they’re there. But even his flaws draw me in…_

_There can never be anything between us. Which is exactly why I helped pair those two up. If I can’t be happy in a relationship with him, at least I can see them happy. Plus… he wanted it. I can’t wait to see his smile, his victorious smile which tells you just how far he’ll go. Any dream he has, I’ll make sure he achieves. And should I become a hindrance, I’ll gladly die._

_I can imagine their faces… their disgust… when they realise I’m gay and in love with Roy Mustang._

Eyes widening in surprise, Naruto reread the page. Whoever wrote this journal had such big, simple writing, as neat as typing. Naruto was glad; it was easier to read typing than handwriting. Whoever this guy was, he clearly had relationship issues. But another gay, well, that was good. There can never be too many gay guys. Well… up until humans start dying out.

Naruto flipped through half a dozen pages, finally finding an entry that interested him. Something orangey was smudged across the page, cutting weakly through the words at a diagonal.

 

_The worst part isn’t loving unrequited. It isn’t knowing he can never return my feelings. I can tolerate these as long as he’s nearby. I can tolerate it knowing his reasons, that he can’t be distracted by love. But tolerating… tolerating doesn’t take away love. Love is something everyone thinks is beautiful, pure and wonderful. Love isn’t any of these. Love is selfish; love is blind and desperate, needing him there every single second. Love is painful. And knowing you can never be loved… knowing that is enough to rip apart your very soul. I often think it would be easier to die than over-come this pain. No. I don’t think that. I know it. To find your love and be left alone… he is always nearby, he’s always close. But he might as well be somewhere I can never see his smile._

_Death… death is easier…_

_I’d rather be dead than in love._

 

_DAISUKI SASUKE! says:_

_Hi Gaara!_

_Sabaku says:_

…

_DAISUKI SASUKE! says:_

_Oh, it’s me, Naruto!_

_Sabaku says:_

_Your username reminds me of the pink-haired whore._

_DAISUKI SASUKE! says:_

_Well, that pink-haired whore will have to change HER username because Sasuke is MINE!_

_Sabaku says:_

… _Won’t saying that get you killed?_

_DAISUKI SASUKE! says:_

_Nope! Sasuke-bastard loves me too!_

_Sabaku says:_

… _Right. Sure._

_DAISUKI SASUKE says:_

_BELIEVE IT!_

_Sabaku says:_

_I don’t._

_Avenger HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE CONVERSATION_

_DAISUKI SASUKE says:_

_Sasu-chan! Gaara doesn’t believe me!_

_Avenger says:_

_Call me that again and I will kill you._

_DAISUKI SASUKE says:_

_SASUKE! BASTARD! How can you kill me when you love me so much?_

_Avenger says:_

… _You’re annoying._

_DAISUKI SASUKE says:_

_Annoying, Sakura annoying or annoying right?_

_Avenger says:_

_Second one._

_Avenger HAS LEFT THE CONVERSATION_

_Sabaku says:_

_I am almost surprised._

_DAISUKI SASUKE says:_

_Surprised enough to raise your eyebrows?_

_Sabaku says:_

_My non-existent ones?_

_DAISUKI SASUKE says:_

… _Steal some of Lee’s, he’s got more than enough._

_Sabaku says:_

_No thank you._

_Sabaku says:_

_Have to go. Bye._

_DAISUKI SASUKE says:_

_Aw… later, Gaara!_

_Sabaku APPEARS TO BE OFFLINE_

 

_I keep hoping this is a nightmare from which I’ll soon awaken. Nothing seems real any more. I’m never excited. Never gleeful. Everything just… floats by. And I can’t catch onto anything, I just follow what people say. Parties don’t excite me. Holidays don’t excite me. The chance of seeing Roy doesn’t excite me. What have I become? I’m so far into this crap I’m becoming emo._

_I don’t want them thinking I’m weak. I don’t want anyone to know I’m weak and foolish enough to lose myself to love. They mock me enough as it is, for whatever reasons they can find. Society does not accept people like me. Society is the one thing that can crush any person. I hated myself enough they so spitefully discovered my faults. I don’t think… I don’t think I have the strength to deal with these people and love._

_I’m starting to fear myself. I’ve found a fascination with blood. It looks good against pale skin and blonde hair. I want to see people bleed, purely to know how they’ll look. The taste of blood is also addictive. That sweet, metallic tang… I’ll never forget it. Being so morbid is wrong, right? Just meeting or seeing someone and picturing them covered in blood… I take this obsession out on myself, of course. I was cutting before this obsession came, now I’m just doing it more often. I’m building up my endurance to the pain for the day I’ll finally slash my wrists. Bleeding slowly to death appeals to me._

_Razors don’t work. At least, not on the wrist. By breaking apart a shaving razor, you get a thin, bendy blade, easily hidden and extremely sharp. However, they have holes and are too bendy to dig deep enough to properly damage those veins. What a pity we don’t have sharp enough knives…_

_Slowly dying appeals to me. That way, I get time to think over all of my life and Roy. It gives me the time to wish for his success. But dying from blood-loss can be fast. Too fast. I’m not sure how long I want… but I don’t really want it to be too extremely painful. I’ll take whatever I can._

_Which reminds me… I’ve got a job. Gardening for those old people down the street._

_It’s amazing what you can find in their shed._

 

 **(1** ) – Kurosaki Hisoka from Yami no Matsuei.


	17. In Passing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i didn't know how to finish this fic so [SUICIDE SPOILERS]

“Did you hear the rumour?”

“Which one?”

“About the latest gays?”

“…which ones?”

Lucy waltzed (as much as once can whilst their ankle is broken) up to the two girls, grimacing slightly as she placed a manicured hand on each girl’s shoulder. She forced their heads closer. The girls were too stunned, being spoken to by _the_ Lucy took priority over what little pride they had. Both were plain girls, the kind whose names and faces were forgotten quickly and easily.

“Oh em ge! Like, you know that totally hot Asian?” Lucy asked in a loud whisper.

“Sasuke?”

“Yeah, Sah-oo-key. That other kinda-cute foreign-brat, like, totally OWNS him!”

“Do you mean “owns” as in possession or “owns” as in defeated?” the brunette asked, pushing her glasses up.

“…he, like, came running in and yelled that Sah-oo-key was, like, totally gay for him!” Lucy continued, ignoring the question. “And, you’ll never believe it! Sah-oo-key _agreed_!”

“That’s kinda sweet…”

“No, no, no! It’s totally _gay_!” Lucy protested.

“Well, yeah. They are both guys…”

“Whatever. And then, oh em ge, I like, totally caught the cute-short-kid and Envy-who-is-kinda-hot-but-gay _holding hands_. AND EW! KISSING!” Lucy ranted, completely forgetting being subtle.

“HEY LUCY!” a voice called.

“Like, what?” she snapped, glancing over her shoulder… before screaming at the top of her shrill, high-pitched lungs.

The cute-short-kid had called her attention before grabbing Envy-who-is-kinda-hot-but-gay, pulling him down slightly and slamming their lips together. Occupants of the corridor were all watching, mouths hanging in horror or due to drool. The latter increased as the kiss deepened, the cute-short-kid wrapping his arms around Envy-who-is-kinda-hot-but-gay who responded with his arms curling around the cute-short-kid’s waist. This continued for some time; students watching, Lucy freaking, until someone happened to intervene – that someone being their highly respected president. He marched right over, flicking Envy’s green head.

The moaning and kissing continued.

Twitching slightly, Roy flicked again. And again. And again. And, for good measure, once more. Still, no response came. Shrugging, he withdrew. Only Lucy was really being harmed, and that was her own fault for hobbling desperately into that wall.

Silly bopper, walls are for stopping!

The heavy, piercing sound of a bullet ruptured the day’s normality. Students jumped everywhere, eyes wide and eyebrows leaping off foreheads. The cute-short-kid and Envy-who-is-kinda-hot-but-still-gay pulled apart, flushing, still remaining in each other’s arms. The infamous Riza Hawkeye came striding straight up to the couple, hiding her pistol in her skirt’s waist.

“Edward, Envy. Haven’t you been dating for over a month?” Riza asked coolly.

“One month, three days,” Envy replied proudly.

“Then, surely you have the restraint to not molest each other in public?”

“We weren’t molesting! My pants are _on_!” Ed replied crossly.

“And shrimpy’s too goody-good to do that here,” Envy added.

“I think you guys killed Lucy…” Roy said nonchalantly, glancing towards the twitching blonde, leaning against blue lockers and muttering.

“Good. Fucking bitch…” Envy muttered.

“Be glad a teacher didn’t find you guys,” Roy said suddenly, glancing down at them with a smirk. “I hear internal suspension is rough.”

“As if they’d go that far!”

“There’s the thirty-centimetre rule,” Riza agreed. “You’d be lucky to fit a millimetre between you two.”

“Just because I love my Edo and wanna express it!” Envy whined.

“…didn’t I kiss you?”

“Shut up, pipsqueak.”

“I-AM-NOT-A-MINI-MOOSE-SHRIMP!”

Even Riza looked surprised with that one.

“…moose, Edo?”

“Yes! MOOSE!”

Silence followed.

“Uh… say, Riza, we have a meeting, right?” Roy announced suddenly.

“Yes, yes we do. And with Jean away…”

The two walked away, talking business. Envy watched them go before smirking and lowering his lips to met Ed’s once more.

 

“Hey, Al…”

“Yeah, Wrath?” Al asked, glancing up at his boyfriend with a smile.

“Is it just me or has there been an increase in skirts?” Wrath asked, eyes following passing students.

“Maybe Mustang’s skirt-order was successful,” Al replied. “Why, want me to wear one?”

“Wouldn’t mind it…”

Laughing and blushing lightly, Al stood from Wrath’s lap, holding out a hand. “We’ve got sport now, right? We’d better go up and get changed.”

Wrath reluctantly accepted Al’s assistance. He didn’t want to go to sport. They’d get abused and taunted in the change-room, and fail that, someone would make a loud comment on Wrath’s long-sleeved top, occasionally going as far as calling him an emo-cutter. This always led to Al’s face paling and hands trembling with rage. Wrath was certain there would be broken bones if he didn’t step in, grabbing Al’s closest shaking hand and muttering his nonchalance.

Today was no exception.

“Don’t drop the soap, here come the queens!”

“Live any of you are as cute as Al,” Wrath muttered. The metal and stone room seemed to echo his words, throwing them right into everyone’s ears.

“What the hell? That's _gay_!”

“…homosexuality is gay? Well spotted.”

Confusion twisted its way through smirks, rendering their aggressive attacks useless. Wrath smiled sardonically, satisfied.

Wrath and Al changed quickly, leaving the confused air of the male change-room behind. Al sighed lightly in relief. Wrath felt similar as they headed over to their sport teacher, a broad-shouldered man always dressed in a yellow track-suit. His face often bore a goofy smile and seemed to be permanently red, like he lived for sunburns.

“What’re we doing today, Mr. Taylor?” Al asked.

“Now now, waiting until everyone’s here,” he replied, ticking on his clip-board.

Wrath didn’t like the look of those rectangular red bags, padding or gloves.

It took almost fifteen minutes for the remaining students to arrive, some of the girls not even changed.

“Are we fightin’, Mr. Taylor?” Benji asked eagerly, a sadistic grin spreading. At the idea, that grin seemed to spread widely; even their teacher’s goofy grin turned cruel.

“It’s called “self-defence”, Benji,” Mr. Taylor corrected.

In other words, the girls were going to be sitting to the side complaining about how violent boys are and watching them bash each other senseless with no style or control, everyone finding pleasure from the live violence.

“Now, I’ve received complaints from many teachers about how the students of seven blue treat each other; as a result, I have chosen your partners for today,” Mr. Taylor announced. “And _everyone_ will be participating.”

Groans spread through the class. Wrath sent a worried gaze to Al. What was with that smile?

Mr. Taylor began rattling off pairs. Wrath shuddered slightly; he was paired with Steven, an overweight mama’s boy with a sharp, merciless tongue. He felt incredible horror at the name paired with Al.

“Alphonse and Benji.”

Wrath’s eyes widened. He glanced to his boyfriend, amazed at how calm he was. Benji, however, was grinning eagerly, confidence and sadism surrounding him.

“Al…”

“I’ll be fine.”

Frowning slightly, Wrath could only nod and hope.

The pairs were spread out around the oval. Wrath made sure to be close to Al, watching him adjust the padded gloves through the corner of his eye.

“Remember, punches _only_ ,” Mr. Taylor shouted. “Start when you’re ready!”

Wrath swiftly punched deep into Steven’s stomach, dodging a head-shot. With a grin he watched the dark-skinned teen wince, legs drawing together. Wrath’s eyes ventured over to Al, dropping in awe. His boyfriend was dodging every blow calmly, occasionally slamming a punch in with incredible accuracy and skill. Benji was clearly confused and afraid, attacking wildly and poorly. Al was manipulating Benji’s every strike to his advantage, blocking and countering in the same movement. It was incredible. So incredible Wrath forgot him own opponent, who was advancing slowly, until he felt a vicious tug at his sleeve and a loud rip.

Wasn’t it convenient that everyone chose that moment to look?

“I knew it!”

“He’s totally emo!”

“What a pathetic person…”

“SHUT UP!”

Wrath’s eyes widened, glancing towards his infuriated boyfriend. “Al! Don’t…”

“Wrath is _not_ pathetic! He’s not emo or weak either! You’re all just too stupid to realise what this means!” Al yelled, ignoring Wrath’s feeble protests. He stormed to Wrath’s side, grabbing the pale arm and studying the purple scars with a softening gaze. Wrath glanced away, trying to ignore the fingers caressing his wrist. “You all want to know, right? You want to know that this is all _your_ faults? If you weren’t so close-minded or judgemental, he’d never….” Al broke of, tears suddenly flooding his eyes.

“Al…” Wrath said softly, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend comfortingly.

“I don’t want to loose you! Please…” Al cried. This kind of scene wasn’t Al’s usual reaction. The silence surrounding their class was weird.

“I’m never going to try it again, Al, because… because you’re here,” Wrath replied soothingly.

“You’d better not…”

“It’s never crossed my mind again! I can ignore these idiots now; they’re jealous.”

Al nodded. Wrath kept his arm around him as they walked away. They didn’t even notice the silent guilt they left.

 

“ _Hey, hey, Sasu-chan…”_

“ _Don’t call me that,”_ came the dead-panned reply.

“ _But we’re formally dating and all! I wanna call you Sasu-chan, dattebayo!”_ Naruto whined.

“ _What did you want?”_ Sasuke asked, changing the subject.

“ _When are you going back to Konoha, dattebayo?”_

Sasuke considered the question briefly. _“Two months.”_

“ _Eh? What, dattebayo?”_

“ _What are you getting so disturbed about?”_

“ _I’m going back in three months!”_

“ _That’s expected, moron, you did come here later than me,”_ Sasuke replied coolly.

“ _But I’ll be without you for a whole month! That’s too long, dattebayo!”_ Naruto protested. He promptly clung to Sasuke’s arm. _“Take me back with you!”_

“ _No.”_

“ _SASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUKE!”_

“ _You can last a month.”_

“… _but I’ll miss you,”_ Naruto protested quietly.

“ _Idiot, people will miss you too.”_

“ _Such as…?”_

“ _I’m sure half of Konoha wishes you were there,”_ Sasuke replied evasively.

“ _You’ll miss me, won’t you, Sasu-chan?”_ Naruto asked suddenly, catching on.

“ _Yes… I’ll miss having my name screeched and being ranted at about what a bastard I am,”_ Sasuke replied dryly.

“ _I knew it! Love you too, Sasu-chan!”_

Sasuke’s smirked briefly became a smile before merging into a scowl. _“Total moron, don’t say things like that.”_

 

Ed groaned. He hated doing these bills… he had to open those clear-window letters, read them, do extra maths and write cheques. Not to mention sorting them into the right folders… it was such a tedious, exceptionally boring task which often had him wishing Envy was here as a distraction.

Frowning softly, Ed’s eyes settled upon a yellow, A4-sized envelope. It was completely unfamiliar and unaddressed.

“HEY AL!”

Al soon came out, yawning. His eyes widened as he spotted Ed holding the envelope. “Brother… uh… that’s mine!”

“What is it?” Ed asked suspiciously.

“Dad gave it to me.”

Ed twitched, ready to rip it in half.

“It’s just some letters. From the doctors… and Mum,” Al replied quietly. “Mum… had a choice. I’m not sure what that disease is, but it was her life or mine… and she chose me.”

Ed swallowed. That sounded right. Their mother was kind and selfless like that. He smiled up at his brother, surrounded by papers and ripped envelopes on the kitchen floor. “I told you so.”

 

It was a normal school morning when the news came. Girls were gossiping, idiots laughing, Envy teasing Ed, Ed yelling, Naruto dozing against Sasuke. Roy watched the door closely; hoping today would be the day Jean came back. He had been away for two days and all calls to his house found an answering machine. Roy had thought with a family that large someone would answer the phone. When Ms. Linton came in completely sober followed by their balding principal, everyone knew something had happened. Everyone instantly fell silent, eyes trained upon the man.

“Students, I have some important news about one of your classmates,” he said, booming voice tinted with sorrow. “I’ve received word that Jean Havoc is terminally ill.”

Roy’s eyes widened in horror, a heavy feeling of hopeless dread and loss burning away reality.

 

**Chapter 18: Final**

“…hey, Mustang, you okay?”

That voice was hardly heard through the words playing through his mind on an unwilling repeat.

“ _Jean Havoc is terminally ill.”_

“I’m fine, Edward,” he forced out.

“You don’t look it,” Ed added, studying the face completely void of colour. Even Mustang’s voice matched it. It was empty; a tuneless, pitiful attempt at emotion.

“Hey, Pony, if you wanna go see Havoc I’ll give you a lift,” Envy offered. “He’d wanna see you.”

“Yes… thank you, Envy.”

Envy nodded, chastely kissing Ed. “See ya, Edo.”

For some reason, watching this display made him feel worse.

Ed watched his boyfriend and president go before turning to Winry. “This Havoc guy… he was pretty quiet, right?”

“Yeah. Well, this year, at least. Before he was more social, with a fairly tragic love-life,” Winry replied. “He’s always very dedicated to helping Roy…”

“Dedicated, huh?” Ed echoed thoughtfully. “Were they lovers or anything?”

Winry laughed slightly, shaking her head. “Havoc’s definitely straight; he’s had a bunch of girlfriends. Roy’s the one who’s never dated.”

“That’s surprising…”

“Yeah, it is.”

Ed watched the sea, frowning. _‘What was that vibe…? No-one else was upset as Mustang, right? There’s definitely something…’_

 

Envy had to ask for the room-number; Mustang seemed to have lost the ability to speak. He led Roy to the room, wondering why he was so quiet. If Havoc was terminally ill, wouldn’t he have lived with it for a while?

When they reached the room, a nurse was exiting. She spotted the two boys, eyeing their uniforms testily.

“What’s wrong with Jean?” Roy asked suddenly.

The nurse glanced back at the closed door, like she could see straight through it. “Poor kid… his insides have been burnt with some kind of acid.”

“I see…” Roy murmured softly, glancing to the floor.

“His family left about half-an-hour ago. He’s awake, if you want to visit,” the nurse said before walking away.

“I’ll wait for you,” Envy said with a wave, heading back the way they came.

Roy turned to the door, hesitating slightly. Would Jean be a weak, shaking wreck, coughing up blood and weak-voiced? Was there the chance that he would die any second? How was he handling that much pain? Shaking his head, Roy opened the door.

Jean was propped up against several pillows, the only obvious change being his paler face. His eyes weren’t dull or dead, but brighter than ever; his face wasn’t worn and torn between sorrow and despair. It was like death wasn’t anything to fear or regret. It was like he was looking forward to it.

“Hey, Roy, didn’t expect to see you,” Jean said, finally acknowledging his presence.

Roy felt his knees shaking. Ignoring it, he found himself automatically walking to the chair by the bed, sinking down into it. “…how did you swallow acid, Jean?”

Jean chuckled slightly. “Stupid, right? It was an accident.”

“How can that be an accident?”

He smiled. “You know me that well? I’m glad…”

Roy frowned furiously. “So you did it on purpose?”

“Mmm. Remember, I work at those rich people’s place.”

“Why did you do that? Do you think I…we… don’t want you around?” Roy snapped.

“Not at all. I’m just… tired. Sorry, I guess I won’t see you become president of a united world.”

“Don’t apologise for that.”

“I want to,” Jean replied, smiling enigmatically.

Roy glanced away, his heart twinging at that smile. What’s there to smile about when you’re dying? “It won’t be the same without you, you know…”

“Well… I’ll work for your dream in death, then. You know, like some kind of guardian angel, I’ll watch over you,” Jean announced, still with that emotive smile.

“Jean…”

“After all… you want a world without war, right? It’s a great dream. Incredible, even. I know you can make it.”

“I want you there…”

“Too late now, those organs aren’t repairing themselves.”

How could he say that with a smile?

“Besides, I just said I’ll be your guardian angel.”

Unable to speak, Roy merely nodded.

Jean reached over, opening his bedside drawer and pulling out a white envelope. “This is all you’ll need,” he announced, handing it to Roy. “You should go back to school, wagging won’t help your dreams.”

Roy wanted to stay, to explain this extreme pain, but found himself nodding and heading to the door.

“I’ll see you later, Jean,” Roy promised.

“Sure.”

It was a miracle he could hold back his tears.

 

_Hey Roy._

_If you’re reading this, I did it. Pretty stupid, huh? Well, so you know, it’s not your fault or anyone’s but my own. It’s complex, and I’m not sure what all I’m feeling means, but here’s one fact; I love you. Corny, huh? It’s true, I’ve loved you since I found out your goal. It takes an incredible person to be that selfless, sacrificing free-time and love to save humanity. And every time I look at you I see that incredible person. And I don’t use love lightly, I mean love._

_Anyway, I guess I’ll see you from wherever I go._

_Jean_

The note was brief but told it all. Taking a deep breath, Roy placed the enclosed necklace around his neck, raising the dog-tag to his lips.

“Me too,” he murmured.

Many kinds of love exist in this world, but it is those which end in sacrifice which leave the greatest impression. This is because no matter what it takes from us, love is always worth feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did jean havoc ever do to you, 14-year-old self?


End file.
